Thursday, November 26, 2009

Giving Thanks

I've been trying to think of a picture that will show how I feel these days. I suppose the closest I could come would be a heart filled to capacity with the love of family and friends; that still has room for the new and abiding friendships I am so cherishing; and that has one corner of emptiness, a space vacated but still occupied by love, concern, memories. That is a space that try as I might I cannot replenish with bitterness or revision, even when I think I have reason. And that's okay with me. I actually want to just find a center of peace there.
Time does have healing powers. I look around and I see the faces of special people who make my life worth living: my beloved daughter Jess; my loyal loving partner JB, my grandchildren and son-in-law, my friends who never let me drift too far, who hold me and catch me and who have listened to my whimpers and confusion for what should have been too long, but for them it never was. I am lucky in love, very very lucky.
But on this Thanksgiving I want to thank three special women, my spiritual sisters who I hope to hold on to until the day I die. They are special in that our friendship and connection together has come from the blogs. I wouldn't have believed it possible.
1. I call her Pumpkin Pi. In one year she has become an intrical part of my daily life. We phone one another with one made up survey after another; sometimes I can barely get the words out because one of us is laughing too hard. You may know her as Studio Lolo. To me she is one of my dearest closest friends and I would do anything for her. She listens to me for hours, has walked with me on a rockyroad, again and again, and she never lost patience with me. We have a fierce protection for one another. She is generous, almost to a fault. She is one of the kindest people I know. She is super smart, not the kind of smart that comes from books, but from life and experience. And she is an incredible artist. Her art is heart-ful, soul-ful, wise, and wonderful. We speak a common language. We now know we can trust one another to be ourselves, even to disagree knowing the other will listen, will try to understand. I love you, Lo. I know what you're probably thinking: Iiiiiiii know!
2. We met over pizza before we met in her treetop. She is beautiful in every way, her soft voice and gentle ways calm me instantly. She paints houses that fly and sing, in happy colors and sometimes they have wings. We are both private people who have learned the skills of being social, and in some ways we are both shy. I don't think either of us jumps lightly into relationships and I think we both take our time in the trust department. But I believe she feels the same way I do now: we are friends for life. I would hop on a plane in a moment's notice if she asked me to. She has given me the most balanced and direct advice in a way that is unique to her: it makes me stop and think, and it helps me grow. I always feel I am a good, a worthy person with her-what could be a better gift from a friend than that? I just love being her friend. I love knowing that she knows she can lean on me when needed. Oh valgal! We will meet here and there, we will share, we will be there for one another. Your friendship is precious to me. Someday I am going to pay you back for what you have given me this year. You can count on it.
3. Well, I've never heard her wild Australian accent, I don't know the meaning of some of the words and phrases she uses. I've never hugged her or held her hand or enjoyed the sound she makes when she laughs. I don't really know how she dresses or drives or what her eyes look like when she greets her two beautiful white horses. But I know she takes the time to talk to me straight and true. She doesn't pretty things up, she is the first one to kick me in the ass and tell me to get over it. She has a strength about her that covers her vulnerability--once I called her a crusty marshmallow and I don't know if she liked that or not. She is just so real, so genuine. I see her as so courageous , so willing to be engaged in life no matter what gets thrown at her. She and I will meet in person without a doubt--probably we will sit on my couch and catch up before I show her New England, maybe New York too. Honey Hells, you mean so much to me. Do you know? I am a dreamer and you are a pragmatist. And I think our hearts like it that way. You shine a light in the darkness for me sometimes. Do you know?

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. If you would like to write about some of your special friends who make your life rich, please do. What could be a better topic?
Thank you Goddess. Thank you Universe. I don't know if I deserve these wonderful friends, but I accept them gratefully. I only hope somehow, someway, I give as much as I get.


  1. You're right...there really is no better topic. But I'd be hard-pressed to write or to find written any three tributes as special as these!

  2. Awww geeze and here I was just being thankful for cold pizza and warm Diet Pepsi.

    You always show me up KJ! ha hahahahahahahahahaa

    You wonderful soul you.

  3. These are really heartfelt tributes to your friends! Wonderfully written and a perfect topic for gratefulness...this was lovely, kj.

  4. I am glad you had a lovely Thanksgiving... you have much to be grateful for - as do all your friends and family who have YOU in their life. As I said before, the heart does heal - albeit slowly.

    I am glad I have "met" you through the blogging world...


    Robin Lamb

  5. Kj, this is a beautiful post for you friends. I have met several very special people through my blog too and you are one of them.
    Love and hugs and kisses.

  6. (blushing)

    Back at you my dear friend.
    Who woulda thunk it?

    I have a few special blog relationships too, and I know they'll blossom into real 'in the flesh' ones some day.

    I don't toss the "L" word around easily. I make it count. But there are a few bloggers I can truly say I love. They know who they are ;)

    Happy Day after Thanksgiving KJ.
    What I love is being thankful every day, not just setting aside one day. It's nice to have a yearly reminder though...and oh yeah, there's that history thing ;)


  7. Friends are a treasure that cannot be valued. I thanks God everyday for the people He has planted in my life!

  8. I'm still stuck on the first part, a picture to show how I feel.

    I'm content to day, this BLACK Friday-and I'm also content in my decision to stay home today. I don't feel inadequate or awful because I can't do wall to wall togetherness for days on end. I had fun yesterday, when I got a little weary of it, I left.

    Part of having family visits here is that I can putter around and be glad Mom and Dad have someone to visit with without that someone being me. I guess I'm learning to take what I might need from the situation-some me time.

    I also feel somewhat justified-if anyone says anything to me this year, I'm simply going to ask "when was the last time I showed up on your door and asked for three days attention?"

    My contentment comes from feeling that it's really OK to be who I am. I've got presents to pack today and dogs to snuggle, and certain bird is going to have to just deal with it when I watch the dog show I taped yesterday....they should really add applause tracks to those things-then we could both be happy.

  9. This comment has been removed by the author.

  10. I deleted a double post-blogger is being odd today.

  11. lydia, aww, thank you. you are alwys so sweet. xoxo

    mark, hahaha yourself. you make me laugh and i love it! you're gettting soft(er), mark. you are. i hope you're prepared for it. xoxo

    marion, thank you so much. and from the blogs--unbelievable huh?! xo

    robin, how do i get to your blog? i need help!!

    annie, you are one of 'them' too, annie. xoxox how is everybody doing today?

    lo, you are well loved. i share you with so many wonderful people. i'm just lucky that i get to hang out with you too sometimes!!! xoxo

    tamika, thanks for stopping by. i'll be by your place too. yes, so much to be thankful for.

    debra kay, hee hee, i can just see you bracing yourself for how to let this day unfold! you can do it, dk: balance, laugh, hide, breathe! so far so good, right?

  12. Ok just tried sending you an email and my computer won't accept your addy, soooo.... you'll have to write to me at
    then i'll get back to you.
    oh and great post!

  13. Love the picture! Beautiful tribute to your special friends. It's it grand how the human spirit can soar even throught internet connections! **kisskiss** Deb

  14. you are lucky to be surrounded with so much love.

  15. Aww kj. I am what I am and that was the sweetest thing to say. Yeh I am the pragmatist but with a soft edge. Clare and I were planning out 'big trip' last night. A girl has to have plans even if there's no cash at hand and you were one person I said that I just have to meet! You can call me a crusty marshmallow anytime although honey Hells is better and I'm very proud to be considered your friend. Get that Skype up and I'll explain some colloquialisms! My eyes are brown! I am very scruffy outside work and I don't actually have a very strong Australian accent. I'm so happy your in such a good place now. It's taken a while but you're so right, time does close the circle.

  16. KJ, I must be one of the very few people who do not have a blog....
    Annie is always trying to encourage me to begin one - but, as I am not an artist, only an art-appreciater, I feel it would be fruitless to begin one.
    However, my home e-mail is:

    Sending you warm regards,

    Robin (Lamb)

  17. Just stopped by to say hello and happy day-after-thanksgiving. Things are crazy!

  18. It's beautiful kj. how lucky are you to share such a friendship? and to be go grateful for it, it's the perfect sentiment for thanksgiving and everyday. especially the everyday.


  19. Friends are the very best, for sure. You are on that list of mine, kj. See you in 6 weeks!!

  20. kj now this is a wonderful post. It is not only a gift to your dear friends but it is a gift to those of us who know them.

    Laurel and Helen are remarkable and how I love them too.

    Love Renee xoo

  21. firebyrd, i'll be in touch soon. now how did i overlook your kind offer??

    deborah, how true. it seems the love and connections find their own way...and being open and grateful seals the deal!

    suki, i hope this is true for you too, my friend....

    honey hells, skype by christmas. maybe sooner. oooooh! i know just what you look like, btw. i know YOU! xoxo

    ah, robin, so you will visit and i can return the favor by email. okay--you are so welcome here anytime . thank you for coming and leaving such sweet comments. xo

    mim! mim! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

    lori ann, i thought about you when i wrote this post. xoxoxo

    kris, it will be so nice to see you again. it's weird that you are not as close, though i can't wait to hear about everything!! xoxo

    renee, thank you. you know how i feel about you too. and you would love valgal. you will love her art-check it out at

  22. I wanna get in on the survey taking!!! That sounds like a good time and I an smiling just thinking about the weird survey taker I could be :) You are a sweetheart and your words mean alot! Thank you and right back atcha babe :)

  23. kj - somehow I missed this one - and it's beautiful too! You always have just the right words!! It's a pleasure to know you!

  24. Friends always feature heavily on my blessing-counting lists.

  25. Aww I don't often have time to come back and check comments after I've left one but you have many lovely people on your blog comments. Not sycophants and luvvy duvvy's just decent folk with warm hearts.
    Renee you biatch . . you make me sigh!

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