Monday, November 29, 2010

Wishes & Dreams for the Holidays....

Last year we raised $ 465 together, most of it to help a four year old angel child I call Angelina whose mother had abandoned her, and a 13 year old great kid who wanted acting lessons and ended up with that and ski lessons thanks to the generosity of my friends and visitors here.



This year I am again asking for help. This year I have arranged for any money raised to be funneled into an anonymous fund for one of my clients, a 19 year old high school senior who is working her ass off to get to college.



She shows up at school every day, this year taking several college prep courses and one advanced placement class that is very difficult for her. I saw her last week and she was wearing a new black leather coat that made her look very fashionable and very pretty.



She was close to tears because she had borrowed the coat from her older sister who accused her of being disrespectful by wearing it. "I don't have a good coat of my own," she said. "I just borrowed it for one day so I could look good today because I had a job interview and she called me disrespectful. That is the worse thing anyone could accuse me of."



Her name is Z and she is soley responsible for herself. She gets no money from her father, no rides to school, no help with clothes or books or food. She hears from her mother maybe once a year, and when her mother does make contact she is never drug free and is most often asking for money for herself.



Z worked all summer so she can support herself during the school year. She resourcefully saved to buy an old car which she sees as her salvation so she can get to and from school and work. She lived with her father until his girlfriend told her to leave, and now she lives with a boyfriend who she knows is not good for her, he is too verbally explosive, but he's at least present. "Sometimes he actually cares about me. And I have to stay there for now," she tells me.



She will be applying to college in a couple of months and we have hope that she will be accepted into a program that helps urban kids prepare and succeed. We have hope that she will get a housing scholarship. She will be the first and only member of her family to go to college and she is determined to do that. Academics do not come easy for her, but she is determined.



She has a hard time trusting adults for good reason. But lately she is letting herself cry in therapy, starting to realize that she has not had the luxury of trusting anyone. We call ourselves Team Z, we and her guidance counselor and one other adult from an Outward Bound Program. If it sounds incomprehensible that a high school student would be on her own like this, I agree. But it's true.



"I show up for school everyday and I try to look like everyone else. I don't want anyone knowing that I don't have anyone to help me like most of the other kids do."



This week Z is praying hard that she will be offered the job at the gas station across the street from school. "I NEED that job, kj" she tells me. And I know that is true too.



So this year I am asking for help for Z. Contributions will go directly toward giving her a little bit of breathing room, $$ for college applications, will provide a plan B back door so she can leave her boyfriend and perhaps rent a small room somewhere.



Honestly I want to raise $ 1000. I will start by contributing $ 100 myself.



I will appreciate any effort to spread the word beyond my own blog. I told Z I plan to be at her college graduation. It won't be easy for her, but she is determined. I am totally convinced that any support given to her will be repaid by the strength of her efforts.


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Please help if you can. Last year we had direct contributions, art auctions and give aways, pay pal transfers. You will find a 'Donate' button on my sidebar where credit cards can be used, or paypal, or feel free to email me at karenjasper@comcast.net
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And please, if you cannot afford $, your wishes and prayers count just as much. There is magic in our blogs this time of year. Offer a kind word or do a kind act for someone else and I assure you that will come around also to help Z. I've come to believe that the universe works that way.
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Always, thank you. It is my privilege to be able to even ask.
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Love
kj

The Company We Keep.....

Lo, this post is for you ♥
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Many times I have spent some part of Thanksgiving with two very good friends who live mid way up a mountain in Vermont.
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This year JB & I arrived just before the loveliest snow began, the first of the season for me.
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My friends live in an old and run down house that they have been working on for more years than they or I can count. The barn is barely standing upright.
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But something is different this year:
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My friend has become a SHEPARD: to twelve sheep he is madly in love with.
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And they, who he tells me are Icelandic and Jacob sheep, love him back.
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Want to meet some of them?
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And look who else thoroughly enjoyed
making their acquaintance....
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Love,
kj

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Tis a Gift to be Simple...

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It's going to be a busy time on the blogs for me. With all the wild action of the holiday season, I am wanting to post here almost every day lately. I don't ususally do that and I can easily say that I won't have much time to blog.
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But I just might anyway. I have things to show and tell.
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Tis the Season officially. Today was a good start. Quiet in a time-to-think-and-meander kind of way. Time to cook and time to love the thrill of ordering some nifty fun presents on line.
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Time to know who I love and savor why.
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The first Christmas present got put together & wrapped todnight. JB is a master wrapper. Her presents look better than House Beautiful.
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And I ordered a few sweet presents on line.
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There are three parts to this post. The first part you just read. .

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The third part is pictures of me standing in front of the refrigerator. (I swear).
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The middle part is a brief panorama of the train ride that begin in Clarksville, Arizona, through the desert as you will see. I think the most interesting things to notice are the TEXTURES:
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After winnning $$$ in Las Vegas, this train ride was the highlight of my vacation.
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So now on to part 3: which just so you know is not easy. Here I am:
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I like to be kind. I think it shows. I like to be smart too. At my advancing age, I am an aspiring babe. I am losing weight.
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I try to listen. I generally care. I have some skills. I understand broken hearts. I don't want to be shy talking about sex. I'm good on vacation.
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I like to write. I love my camera. I have a cozy house. I can be petty. I can't believe how important so many people here on my blog have become to me. I am emotionally brave. I am a wiseguy. I know how to be a friend. I know how to love.
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The holidays have begun. My last two have been too sad. This year, I'd like to let them come and let myself enjoy the parts I know I like. And some new parts too.
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Care to join me?
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I hope your day was good today. I tomorrow you hear bells.
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Love
kj
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Wednesday, November 24, 2010

A Thanksgiving Story

I've written about her before.
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She is five years old.
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She has thrived in kindergarten, secure with her foster Mother who has come to love her, who provides a stable and predictable home. She has a public school teacher who whispered to me that she is her favorite student.

But things will not stay as they are. For one thing her foster Mother is ill. And for another, her father wants her. She is secure and stable and she does not understand that plans are being made for her to live with her Pappy and leave the woman she now calls 'Mommy'.
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I saw her on Tuesday and in one week the change in her was dramatic. She was tired, drawn, nervous.

"My pappy took me to this house and these people kept asking me why I didn't want to live with my Pappy. I told them I don't want to leave Mommy. I was afraid they would make me stay there. I was scared."

There is more to this tale and I and others will evaluate and intervene over time, keeping what is best for her in front of everyone.
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Every week we hold hands until we reach the kindergarten door and every week she waves goodbye and heads toward her teacher but then she runs back to me and I know to lean down and she kisses me on the cheek.

This time, on Tuesday, she ran back to me and I leaned down and she kissed me as always but this time she came back a second time.

She looked at me and she said "I'm thankful for you."

She is five years old.

For the last two years I have had my own challenges to keep my footing: adult issues of shock and betrayal and acceptance, but my challenges are nothing like hers. This little girl is baptising me with one lovely sentence.

"I'm thankful for you."

Can you say it? I can say it to so many special people who bless this blog, who have offered me their friendship.

I'm thankful for you.

Can you say it?

On this day of American Thanks-giving, can you say it to some one who will know in their bones what that means just as I knew standing in front of that kindergarten door on Tuesday.

I don't think you should wait. I think you should say it.

Love
kj

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Animal Wednesday: Emily & The Desert Animals

Hello Mr. Froggy





& Hello Mr. Fat Rabbit with Little Ears





How Are You Timothy Turtle?





Oh You Scary Sort-of Lion!





I see you Ms. Giraffe.
Why is your head sticking out of the ground like that?


Oh you silly smiley face!




And who are you exactly?





It's an animal person! Looking too serious if you ask me!





And why oh why is kj willing to pay me
$ 25 dollars for this photo?
She says it's to gain back her reputation
after calling the pickle pictures something else.



Happy Thanksgiving from me to you.
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Sincerely Yours,
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Emily V.V. Rabbit

Monday, November 22, 2010

Not a Poem: Don't Miss This Fabulous Turkey Dressing Recipe

Thank you M
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This is my annual contribution to what I hope is a silly giggle of a thank-filled Thanksgiving holiday this year. It's too good not to pass on to others, don't you think? Please feel free to take it, make it your own, and share it with friends and foe alike.
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Love
kj

Poem # 18: Cow Droppings & Best Friends Don't Grow on Trees

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I'm home from the desert. I should be in bed by now.
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I am behind in my 30 poems in 30 days so you'll find one here, but first a word about this photo. The flat land of the desert is pretty much barren with some gritty catci and some yellow cottonwood trees thrown in, so imagine coming across three cows in the middle of nowhere, and I mean nowhere, and seeing their food for the day lying on the ground in all this vibrant color.
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I know it's just cherry tomatoes and leeks and peppers and potatoes but please give me your opinion: I'm thinking it might be my holiday card this year! For some reason I like the idea of festivity from food scrapes for three cows in the middle of a barren desert.
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Okay, with that out of the way, my poem today was written a time back, but the blessings I have in the friend department are as true today as they were then. So here is my tribute to the best friends a person could have: I hope some of you will smile knowing you are one of them. Hey, maybe I'm one of them for you too!!! I wouldn't mind if you told me so :)
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Best Friends
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1. They grow in the garden
Where forget-me-nots remember

2. They grow around two hearts
Willing to be tamed

3. They grow toward the sun
Pouring light in quiet corners

4. They grow under unspoken secrets
Finally whispered out loud

5. They grow on top of trouble--
An umbrella in the wind

6. They grow beside what’s possible
Rallying and inching it forward

7. They grow in special moments
Roots that aren't overturned

8. They grow around tender wounds
Healing tears on the horizon

9. They might even grow apart
But even then they grow together

10. They grow through the thickets of laughter
And the blossoms of being known

11. They grow over time
And in the flash of a moment

12. They even grow in darkness,
When it's all you can see

13. Best friends grow ever strong and forever tight
But they most assuredly do not grow on trees.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Poem # 17: Forgiveness

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I went to the vortex at the Red Rock
and I asked for a good release,
wrung dry of shamed filled words
hurled from that reckless cowboy state.
How does anyone forget like that?
How easy it must be
To forget like that.
Or maybe not.

Friday, November 19, 2010

No-Poem # 17: Las Vegas Mish Mash

No poem today.I'm too excited to fill you in on my vacation.
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Finally, I have adequate internet service! I can show and tell that last Saturday JB and I began a week's vacation in Sedona AZ. We've survived a Minnesota blizzard, visited family in Tuscon, met up with my friend Linda in Phoenix, and settled into a one bedroom timeshare in Sedona.
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But not for long! JB and I travel well together, we plan but we don't plan. We are pretty relaxed about what we do when and we don't mind gallivanting. We started off today in a cafe where I drew and colored and JB wrote and read, then we walked along a stream to one of Sedona's four vortexes (natural healing energy centers), and later we took a Pink Jeep sunset trip through the canyon. In between all this, we ate. :)
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But I'm getting ahead of myself. Today I want to show you Las Vegas. JB and I hopped in our rental car on Tuesday and we drove five hours through the desolate Mojave Desert until we reached the bigger-than-life city of Las Vegas.
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We stayed overnight in a very nice hotel room for $ 35, such a low price that is typical in Vegas since people like me will be willingly handing over gambling money to the string of casinos on the 'strip.' We had the most incredible dinner buffet at the high end Belaggio Hotel--the best buffet I've ever seen--at another unbelievably low price.
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And we played the slot machines. Did we ever. I LOVE the slots. I won $ 700 in the first half hour--normally I lose my way through the orgasmic thrill of it all--but this time I played with the casino's money all day, all night, and into the following morning. I left with $ 550 profit in my pocket--how cool is that?
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It was quite an experience to experience Las Vegas and then head to the dusty unpaved roads of the Grand Canyon West, but all these contrasts have been the best part of this vacation.
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Okay, I've talked enough. Here are mish mash photos from Las Vegas:



















$ 12 for a side of potatoes???!
This is the menu of a very fancy restaurant in a very fancy hotel :)

Hand blown glass on the lobby ceiling of that very fancy hotel





And off the lobby, a larger than life Autumn display of a magical forest...












The music started and the water danced
This was amazing!!! JB and I are unknowingly walking over the Bellagio bridge and from nowhere the water shot up and the music began, all in unison. Have you ever seen anything like this, because it was like watching a ballet. Totally amazingly beautiful.
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One more day to go. Tomorrow: a train ride on one of only two remaining locomotives in North America on the Verde Canyon Railroad.
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Gratefully, a good week. A very good week.
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Love
kj