Wednesday, November 24, 2010

A Thanksgiving Story

I've written about her before.
She is five years old.
She has thrived in kindergarten, secure with her foster Mother who has come to love her, who provides a stable and predictable home. She has a public school teacher who whispered to me that she is her favorite student.

But things will not stay as they are. For one thing her foster Mother is ill. And for another, her father wants her. She is secure and stable and she does not understand that plans are being made for her to live with her Pappy and leave the woman she now calls 'Mommy'.
I saw her on Tuesday and in one week the change in her was dramatic. She was tired, drawn, nervous.

"My pappy took me to this house and these people kept asking me why I didn't want to live with my Pappy. I told them I don't want to leave Mommy. I was afraid they would make me stay there. I was scared."

There is more to this tale and I and others will evaluate and intervene over time, keeping what is best for her in front of everyone.
Every week we hold hands until we reach the kindergarten door and every week she waves goodbye and heads toward her teacher but then she runs back to me and I know to lean down and she kisses me on the cheek.

This time, on Tuesday, she ran back to me and I leaned down and she kissed me as always but this time she came back a second time.

She looked at me and she said "I'm thankful for you."

She is five years old.

For the last two years I have had my own challenges to keep my footing: adult issues of shock and betrayal and acceptance, but my challenges are nothing like hers. This little girl is baptising me with one lovely sentence.

"I'm thankful for you."

Can you say it? I can say it to so many special people who bless this blog, who have offered me their friendship.

I'm thankful for you.

Can you say it?

On this day of American Thanks-giving, can you say it to some one who will know in their bones what that means just as I knew standing in front of that kindergarten door on Tuesday.

I don't think you should wait. I think you should say it.



  1. Oh....I say it...with tears in my eyes I say it.

    And you know it. I have no doubt you know it. From many.

  2. This touches me deeply..

    I know how it feels to be reminded of that because so often times, life passes us by, so do relatives, friends... and we do the same to people who are important to us.

    Being grateful and remembering to say it does matter a lot.

    I am thankful for you, kj dear.


  3. I'm so thankful for you Kj and what you bring to this tired old world of hurt and misgivings... The help and love you see in EVERY child,,, I know that what will be will be... and I pray for this one little girl... as I know there are 100's like her....

    I am thankful for you and your friendship Kj Gypsy sister....

    Renee would be so proud of you : )
    Much love on this Thanksgiving week-end.

  4. Yes, I can say it. I am thankful for you KJ, you and so many others ... I could write a list but I'm not sure how long a comment I'm allowed in blogger!!

    xx Jos ♥

  5. linda, you are a gem. those tears just prove how big your heart is (not to mention your impeccable fashion sense) ♥

    silver, this means alot. thank you. i know you know. i think you have been taught in the deepest way. ♥

    it's great work i get to do, gypsy sister, that is, when i'm not too busy picking pockets. :) i thank you for your friendship too pattee and i wish you a love filled thanksgiving weekend too. ♥

    jos...are we lucky lucky? i am thankful for you too. i hope you know. ♥

  6. Oh my! What a brave and sweet little girl. It will be very very hard for her when she has to live with her Pappy and leave her fostermother.
    Is there no other solution? No, I think not. Her fostermother is ill if I remember your story well. Heartbreaking.

  7. Such a sad story tugging at heartstrings to sing another sad melody..Happy Thanksgiving to all of you and you Kj, however bleak it is there is still much to be thankful for.

  8. Deep sigh, thanks for this update on little A.
    I hope, hope, hope, hope a permanent stable loving home isn't too far away for her. Either with or without her Pappy I know you've done your utmost to put her together again. Most importantly she knows you're her rock with a marshmallow heart.

    I'm thankful for the Tsups we exchange Kj


  9. Oh, that little girl kills me.
    I think her family meant well. Too bad it felt more like a swat team and iterrogation to her. How could she possibly comprehend any of it?
    I know if you were younger you would have adopted her in a nanosecond.

    And yes, I can easily say those words to all the loved ones in my life. You included!
    If I send cards at this time of year I always write, "When I count my blessings, I think of you."

    Happy Thanksgiving KJ.
    I'm very thankful for you♥♥

  10. I am thankful for you KJ, you are so loving and caring and giving. I am thankful to all my friends and my relations. I am thankful to be alive today. I send prayer for this dear girl, may she be well and surrounded by love. Love, suki

  11. I am thankful for you, dear KJ....
    you and Renee threw me a life preserver - just about a year ago....and pulled me onto the shore. I am thankful for so many wonderful, warm and true people out "here" in blogging land.

    My heart goes out to this little girl.... I am saying prayers her father and his family will open their hearts to her..... time will enable her to relax and accept...and in time, her young life will even improve.

    Sending love and warm hugs to you, JB and of course, Stella!

    Oh - and you, too Emily!!!


    ♥ Robin ♥

  12. wieneke, there may be other solutions. still evaluating whether and when the move is best for her.... ps wonderful to hear from you, my friend ♥

    dudh.aaach, i agree; still, the forest through the trees is sometimes obvious and easy and sometimes not ♥

    annie, i'm a rock with a marshmellow heart? my dear poetic friend, i don't mind that description one bit! i'm thankful for our TSUPs! too annie. ♥

    lo, i don't think the people involved meant well at all. it was callous of them to come at her like that. lo, i use to date a guy who counted the stars in his sky every night. i loved whenever he told me i was a bright star in that sky :)

    i am thankful for you too, suki. you are so gentle. i hope your company and your day has been very nice. ♥

    robin, i am ever and always so glad that renee and i have been part of your washing ashore to a life that is strong and vibrant and present. i am thankful for you, cupcake; of course you know...♥

  13. I say it...I think it and I feel it. xoxo mim

  14. I don't have words... this has touched me more than I can express.
    You are a blessing.


  15. That is so touching...

    Oh I can say it especially on a day of Thanksgiving:)

    Such an endearing post, thanks.

    Happy Thanksgiving:)

  16. Oh yes, I can say it...and I'm so thankful I finally can. There were many years when I couldn't.

    This post made me cry for all the little girls and boys who are torn apart like this...and it happens over and over again. I'm so thankful for you, kj, that you are there, a strong and steady bulwark, for that little girl.

  17. A little late, but I'm thankful too!! I do hope that everything works out well for this poor little girl such a very sad story. x