Dear Everyone,.
It was a very bad week. I got kicked out of soccer. I went to the practice and the first thing that happened is
there were no shorts that had a hole for my tail. I borrowed some scissors from the coach's office and got yelled at for destroying property.
.
Then when the game began, I hopped over to the first girl I saw and I socked her in the stomach with my head. Someone blew a whistle and this man with a black and white stripped shirt told me I could only use my feet and if I did that again he would not let me play.
.
So the next time I hopped over to the same girl and I socked her with my foot. She screamed and fell to the ground, waving her legs in the air and looking like a cry baby. The man with the striped shirt told me I was on probation and if I made anybody cry again I could not play.
.
When the whistle blew I thought it would be better to find a boy even though the game is soccer (sock-her) so I hopped up as high as I could and I swung my foot at his nose. I think it was because of all the blood that they told me to go home.
.
This was not fair! I am sure I would have been a very good socker. All that blood was not my fault. Everyone was a baby except me. I am going to ask kj to sue them. I am thinking of joining a band and thumping the drums.
.
.
P.S. kj agreed to pay me $ 5 this week as a trial. But she says if I do not get at least 50 comments, I shouldn't charge more than $ 2. Please help me get the comments so she will not have an excuse to pay me not enough for my lifestyle. Still no polkadot bikini. But I am working on it. I think kj may feel guilty and that is good news for me.
.
Goodbye for now.
.
Sincerely,
.
Emily V. V. Rabbit
Dear Emily, it is a bad and not rabbit understanding world you're living in. But I am laughing my head off !! Take care, dearie.
ReplyDeleteDear, dear Emily!
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that everyone was being a baby - why would they play a game called "sock-her" and then cry when they got socked??? it makes no sense to me either. You are a rabbit of rare talents, so KJ should be paying you ALOT of money - or at least 24 karrots.
have a happy animal wednesday emily - it's your day, love mim
Ha Ha Emily....i think "socc-her" is a fair enough game...too bad no one else thought so...
ReplyDeleteSmiles,
Sonia ;)
emily i think you have missed your calling as a stand up comedian. then you will bring in the bucks right? glad i don't play sock her though.
ReplyDeleteEmily I would complain to kj because she even sent me blue balloons. I love them, but I don't know if she is treating you right.
ReplyDeleteDid you know that soccer is my favourite sport.
p.s. for kj. My sister Jacquie is reading your book right now and she loves it.
Love Renee xoxo
Dear Emily,
ReplyDeleteIt's very depressing to be misunderstood. It must also be very depressing to have such big feet.
Oh sorry, I digress.
Perhaps you could find a nice group of frogs and toads and play 'leap frog.' You'd be a natural for it! I'll bet you could leap higher and further than the other guys. That might cheer you up! And you could teach them your secret so they won't think you're a show-off. You know how green with envy frogs can be :P
I think you should give up sock-her. I've been on the 'socked' end many times and I can tell you it doesn't feel good!
Happy Earth Day Miss Emily :)
xo
Lololo
Hi Emily, there are some rules to follow playing soccer!
ReplyDeleteBut as a creative one, you can break it and create your own.
I love your way of Emily Plays Soccer. And I certainly stay with you:)
ok Emily, here is number 8. 42 to go I wish you luck.
ReplyDeleteI just love you, you are the way most of us want to be but don´t dare!
HAW!!
wieneke, you are very understanding. i like that you are laughing. no one has ever called me dearie, and i think that is very cute. do you want some rabbit pellets?
ReplyDeletems. mim, 24 karrots! HAHAHAHA! i think you would get in trouble with me. kj is too cheap. please tell her.
sonja, thank you sonja. do i know you already? if not, hello from me.
suki, yes i am very funny. but that is only because people are so serious and don't laugh or misbehave enough! would you like to play with me sometime? we could roll down hills and then steal vegetables from somebody's garden.
ms. renee, kj sent you blue balloons? you must be very special because, you know, she is cheap. she is NOT treating me right! see, it's obvious, huh?! i deserve her appreciation and money. please tell her.
sincerely to everyone,
e. rabbit
ms lololo, i don't think you like me.for one thing i hate frogs. they are noisy and pushy and my mother says you can get bunnywarts from them. i wouldn't know about that last part myself. and for another thing i do not have big feet. kj says my feet smell like popcorn too sometimes. and for the last thing, you called me a drama queen. if you do like me, please let me know because kj says i would be smart to like you. i don't know why she said that, but she seemed to think it was important. hmmmpf!
ReplyDeleteyoon see, RULES! that was the problem. do you think a sweet little rabbit like me should have been sent home just because i didn't follow the rules? it was mean and stupid, in my opinion. i am not going to sue because kj said i should move on and find something else fun to do. hmmm, do you paint, yoon see? do you think i could copy you?
marinnne, you are one of my favorite people. if you want i could show you how to act like me. i think you will have more fun that way. i charge $ 1.50 for lessons. is that okay? if you don't have the money, i will make an exception for you because you are sweet and nice and i like you.
sincerely again,
e. rabbit
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletenote: maybe i like lololo more than i am letting on. but i'm not telling...
ReplyDeleteEmily, I would have done the same thing (cut a hole for tail). My woman is going to teach me to wear a "harness" so I can go outside......we'll just SEE about THAT. I don't wear clothes. I had a ball that talked when I rolled it, but it disappeared. Someone is always taking my noisy toys.....Happy Earth Day-Oliver the parrot. (Do you think I should just sign initials-OTP-is that cool?)
ReplyDeleteThe last comment was from Oliver-this one is from me. Happy Earth Day Emily. (Don't tell Oliver, he gets cranky when I post on his day-but it added to your total, so I did it for YOU)
ReplyDeleteMoon Sister -- xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteI am glad you are believing in the miracle. I sometimes do too.
The part of cancer in the book: for me it is so different because it is so real. I just was so sick all the time that I wouldn't have thought of anyone or anything. Love was never in the picture. So the difference in the book is just different.
But I believe that it could be like that for some people.
Love Renee xoxo
Actually, I've seen young kids play soccer just this way, too!
ReplyDeleteoliver, wear the harness until you get outside and then take it off and hide it in the bushes. i always wear clothes, and jewelry sometimes too. but i wear whatever i want and i don't care whether it matches. i like polkadots the best.
ReplyDeletethank you debra kay. i need 20 more comments from you and marianne.
ms. renee, i told kj i will believe too. if i were a cat i would give you three of my lives. but i think you do pretty well with the life you have. maybe you should start believing i will get 50 comments this week. but i won't, will i? hmmmmpf. that kj set me up for failure. that is not nice!
citizen, i knew it! i was picked on because of discrimation. rabbits are not welcomed on the team. i still think i should sue.
COMMENTS? CARROTS? COMPLIMENTS? CANDY? PLEASE HELP THE 'KEEP EMILY WRITING' CLUB. MEMBERSHIP IS $ 10. (ONLY $ 8 FOR MARIANNE)
sincerely for the third time,
Emily V. V. Rabbit
Dear Emily,
ReplyDeleteHow can you think I don't like you? I think maybe I'm just blunt and honest like you and it may be hard to take.
I'll try to be softer okay?
Or you could just suck it up!
I'm just sayin'...
Actually Emily, you and I both have a soft, fuzzy side ;)
I got your card today. It made me smile as big as the sky! I'll do what it says ;)
xoxo
Lololo
Oh, Miss Emily. Never mind soccer. It's a silly game anyway. No point of it.
ReplyDeleteNow DODGEBALL.... There's a sport for you!
Or perhaps rugby would be more your speed.
ReplyDeleteI think you would be very impressive as a drummer. You could probably earn more money that way, too.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletems bella, are you doing what i think you are doing?
ReplyDeleteare you????
ps i might be available to be your friend. i am willing to steal vegetables for you and maybe even candy. if you are doing what i think you might be doing and if you are doing that, i also think you a very cute and smart and other things too. if you are not doing what i think you are doing, please disregard for now.
sincerely.
e. rabbit
What? What is it you think I am doing?
ReplyDeleteI am innocent. Perfectly innocent. Like you.
ReplyDeleteAnd that reminds me. How are your jellybean plants growing? They may need some magic bunny-pellet fertilizer.
ReplyDeletems. bella, i am up to 26 comments. i think it is fair to count my own comments, too. do you agree? because kj said i couldn't. she was mean to say i need 50 comments because she never got 50 comments. do you agree? i try to be reasonable but i think kj is being mean and cheap. just because she has helped me out before (like when i got arrested those three times).
ReplyDeletei asked kj if you are innocent like me and she said no way. she said you have a wicked sense of humor and would be fun on vacation. but she said you could get in trouble too, unlike me, who is a saintly rabbit... (haha)
thank you ms. bella. but i need more. i want that $ 5 a week and that will show kj not to be so cheap. right?
love (you should notice: this is new)
emily r
ms. bella, do you have the pellet fertilizer? i could use it. the jellybeans have only grown one inch so far.
ReplyDeletelove (this is new, don't forget)
emily
ms lololo, since i sent you a card, could you lend me $25 so i can buy a case of you-know-whats? that would be a good way for us to be friends and i would pay you back 25 cents a month if that is okay with you.
ReplyDeleteare you SURE you like me? i will like you only if you definitely like me. okay?
sincerely,
emily v. v. rabbit
Hello
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