Animal Wednesday: Emily Hairbags

I was driving kj's car and the hairbags went off because I slammed on the brakes after I saw the stop sign. It was not my fault because I had never driven before.
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A policeman told me to pull over and show him my license. I was afraid he would arrest me so instead I started crying, quietly at first but I built up to a loud and good boo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-ha-ha-boo-hoo. I panicked and told him my name was Emily Hairbags and that I was driving to the hospital to see my very very sick mother.
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He looked at me and said, "Ms. Hairbags, you were driving erotically."
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I stopped crying and asked him if he wanted a purple jellybean. He said no and told me to call someone to come and drive me home.
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I called kj and she came and complained about the ticket even though it was not my fault. If she had agreed to drive me to the candy store to begin with, I would not have had to drive her car.
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Moral of the story: Lie when the hairbags go off.