My Day

Don't ask me why. I just feel like writing tonight. I hope I don't bore you.

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First of all, after spending last weekend in New York City and then the Foxwoods Casino, JB and I are on our way to a Vermont farmhouse tomorrow, for the weekend. I will see my writer friends and their families. I think we will savor food, smell manure, visit barns and animals and gardens, (I don't know whose), enjoy two great kids, catch up, write.

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But that's not all of it Tomorrow my friend Lo of these here blogs is coming to dog-sit-and-talk with Ms. Recovering Stella, who is starting to move and feel better. I want this house to be very nice to Lo, to welcome and cozy her into whatever space and sanctuary she may want.

But that is tomorrow. Today I worked in different ways than my normal routine. School is out this week, so the locations where I see my kid-clients is changing (fyi: half my clients are kids), and there are graduations. This is what I did today (names changed to protect anyone, maybe even me):

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9 am: Met Addie at her house and let her drive my car around the church parking lot and on her street. My car and I are going with her for her driver's test this afternoon, because there was no one else. I don't think this is an appropriate thing for a therapist to do, so I don't ask for guidance, just in case, because I think helping Addie take her driver's test is overall a good thing.

10 am: What name have I called her before here on the blog? I wish I could use her real one syllable name because it is one of my favorites and it's who she is. Anyway, I went to her eighth grade graduation ceremony. It was a full cafeteria. I stood against the wall, clapped loud and long when she walked across the stage. I saw her Mother, who has lost custody, and I was very glad to see her: we embraced for real. Good. But the thing that really got me is that Ms. Nameless and three of her 8th grade classmates sang the full version of "I Believe I Can Fly." I was overtaken by my emotions. I wanted to cry, in a good way. Transformative.

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11 am: I'm still here. This is not the best school. But today everything is done right. There are balloons, a piped organ/piano player, and a Guest Speaker. This will tell you so much about the mill town working poor city of H------: The Introduction of the Guest Speaker, with fanfare: "We are proud to introduce H------'s First Female Firefighter!!!" She was great. She said, I'm just like you. This is how I did it."

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11:30 What have I called her before? I like her real name too. Well, I will call her Cissie. Is that in any way a Hispanic name? I don't think so. Anyway, Cissie goes to the worst school I have seen. She was held back in 6th grade last year, was doing much better with younger-than-herself peers, until she got kicked up to 7th grade anyway, a setback for her. So today Cissie told me she failed two classes, thinks she will be held back again. I guess that she won't mind and she tells me, true, she won't mind at all. Since she is only in 7th grade, I ask her if she thinks she will make it through high school. She looks at me in a way I know she is really thinking, will be honest with both of us, and she tells me 'no.' I understand. That is my opinion too.

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Cissie and I play "Pick Up Sticks" and then Crazy Eights on the dining room table. A year ago there were only beds and a couch in the house. We are in rare form today: we laugh and delight in sticking it to one another. This is a hyperactive, good kid. She trusts me. Her family life has improved way for the better in the past year. I think it will be a good summer for her.

Enough time to buy a cup of coffee and eat an apple, cheese, a peanut butter chocolate bar.

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1:00 As I type this, I just realize this is a day for 14 year olds. I only have 3, and I am seeing them all in a row.

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I see S--- at her house today, at the kitchen table with her Mother. The family is under hard stress and worry: S---'s father needs heart surgery. It will be risky. he is old and can barely walk from room to room. And there are problems with S---'s older sister. We are talking about S---'s difficulty controlling her temper when she is mad or hurt or sometimes even misunderstood. She was diagnosed with schizophrenia at a very young age; there are some cognitive challenges around regulating her emotions. Anyway, we three try to talk about it, about what might help, what can be done. I hear some things that are good to be able to say outloud." S---- doesn't ever give any pats on the back, but I think the three of us did good today. I like that.

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3:00 I am at a meeting for a little 7 year old guy who lost his mother two years ago and is now in his third foster home, this time without his younger brother. Before this, he is bright and well mannered in school; not so much so if the environment is chaotic. He is so sad, says he couldn't stay there any more because he was 'bad', says he misses his foster Mother and wants to see her. The meeting is because he has suddenly begun to act up in his first grade class. He is agitated and even wild sometimes. I have only seen him like that once before in almost two years. The meeting is what to do, can he stay where he is?, a new foster Mother who seems nice, not that that lessens all the losses. I have to rush out, but I say clearly, several times: "stability, stability" ..."keep him where he is now, I fear he will numb out totally if there is another change now."

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4:00 pm Addie's driving test. I am a wreck myself. I rush to the DMV, have to show my license and registration, prepare to sit behind her while she drives my car (I didn't think about her actually driving in traffic--can she really drive?). The test is stressful. Addie is nervous and her parallel parking is not good. But still, I thought she passed. But she didn't. The Registry Woman told her she could take the test again right away, told her she was only allowed to make three mistakes and she made six (not letting a pedestrian cross first; letting the front wheels touch the crosswalks.) I feel badly. I offer to drive Addie home, encourage her to treat herself to that Chinese take out anyway. She is a good kid. She needs some adults who will help her. Her teachers want to do that for her. Me too.

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Addie asks me if I would do this (going with her) for all my clients. I don't hesitate: 'No." She is a smart, protective shield tough kid. She says, "You do nice things for people." It is as much a question as a statement. I answer, "Yes, I try. I think I do."

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I buy groceries. I visit my Mom. I am fascinated by my day.

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I probably won't be around until Sunday night. I might find a computer to sneak into, who knows? Think of me in Vermont: I think it will be a great time. Think of me having lunch with Ms. Studio Lolo.

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And if you think of me, you can be sure I will here and there think of you too. It's turning out that way. :)

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Love

kj