Animal Wednesday: Advice from the Dearly Departed

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Hello! It's me, Emily
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I HAD to show you these Bunny Ears.

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Do you SEE them?

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They're Mine!

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While kj was in Vermont I visited my dearly departed Aunt Alfalfa; don't ask me how I managed to do that because it is a secret in the rabbit community and I would get in BIG trouble if I told. It would be worse than telling you how a magician pulls a rabbit from a hat and by the way sometimes the magician is too rough and it can really create ear aches, which if you've ever had one, is no fun and it's worse for rabbits as you might already imagine.

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Anyway, here I am visiting Aunt Alfalfa and she is giving me tips on abundance, mostly involving lollipops and jellybeans but some times just believing in it, and she is telling me she has never grown upside down cake and she thinks it's a long shot, and then, guess who I see right then and there?

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First I heard this sound: HAR HAR HAR

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Then I heard: "That lori ann is so fucking clever."

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Then I look at this happy woman with a huge grin and long grey hair and nice hands and she has giant wings that sway when she moves and she keeps saying 'fuck this' and 'fuck that' while she laughs (it is not my fault about saying that word because I just heard it not said it myself) and when she sees me she says, "Emily! Don't tell kj I said fuck in front of you. She doesn't need to know, HAR HAR HAR!"

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She looked at me straight on. "Jesus Christ, It's me, Emily. It's RENEE. I want you to do me several favors when you hop down from this cloud."

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"First, I want you to tell my family, especially Anqelique and Jacquie, that I am working on a way for them to hear me. Tell them there is so much love here in heaven I am going to send some down for spare use, not that they need it."

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"Second, I want you to tell kj to get a grip and keep it. Tell her I said, "She's not even worth it!" She'll know what I mean."

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"And third, I want you to tell everyone to go to Lori's blog http://loritimesfive.blogspot.com/ and leave a comment even though her offer to donate a dollar for each comment expired already. Leave a comment because maybe kj and maybe even Lori's friend Nancy won't notice that the offer expired already and if they don't notice then they will have to pay more and it all goes to a good cause. It would be a fucking--oops--darn shame if Lori and kj and now Nancy couldn't contribute all their grocery money to help those poor birds in the Gulf Coast."

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By the way, Renee also said, "Some of those birds have arrived here in heaven, Emily, and they are being well taken care of. There is no oil in heaven, although there are jelly donuts and chocolate truffles. Tell everyone that too."

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So for once I am doing as I was told and I don't mind this one time because I am always very well behaved after I visit my Aunt Alfalfa and it lasts for at least three days before I start to whine again and sometimes I don't have a temper tantrum for as long as a week. My Aunt Alfalfa says heaven affects rabbits that way. I don't know how it affects people but Renee seemed pretty happy although I did not get the sense that she was going to start behaving anytime soon.

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If you go and visit Lori, please tell her I Emily Rabbit said hello and wondered if any of that money should maybe be dedicated to helping the New England Bunny Business with the start up cost of its jellybean production.

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Sincerely Yours,

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Emily R.

* You can find Renee at http://circlingmyhead.blogspot.com