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About two weeks ago I started looking for a story I wrote several years ago called "The Little Girl," but to my surprise I haven't been able to locate it anywhere.
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Until now.
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For unrelated reasons, tonight I decided I would go into my blog archives and look up the post I wrote exactly one year ago. I had no idea what it would be, but I've been traveling through a pretty significant transformation with a suitcase of sadness for the past couple of years and I wondered if by looking back a year I would be reassured that I still believe in deep love. (I do.)
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So when I located my post of one year ago I found the story of the little girl. This is a true story in honor of my Mother.
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I no longer give coincidence the weight I used to, so I have no doubt that this has appeared to me at just the right time. I thank you for the chance to share it.
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Love
kj
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The Little Girl
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The little girl left for school every day wearing some derivative of a red plaid dress with a black pattern leather belt that matched her shoes and her folded down white cotton ankle socks.
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The little girl left for school every day wearing some derivative of a red plaid dress with a black pattern leather belt that matched her shoes and her folded down white cotton ankle socks.
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Every day, usually just before she arrived at school, and sometimes during recess, she threw up. Every day she walked back home because she had soiled her dress or socks or coat, and on really bad days, everything.
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Every day, usually just before she arrived at school, and sometimes during recess, she threw up. Every day she walked back home because she had soiled her dress or socks or coat, and on really bad days, everything.
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When the little girl opened the back door and and stepped into the kitchen, her mother was there waiting, ready to hug her and tell her how brave she was. She helped her little daughter change into a set of fresh clothes that were already laid out on the back of the kitchen chair, and within five minutes, she was on her way back to school, where she was the teacher’s favorite and popular and comical among her peers.
When the little girl opened the back door and and stepped into the kitchen, her mother was there waiting, ready to hug her and tell her how brave she was. She helped her little daughter change into a set of fresh clothes that were already laid out on the back of the kitchen chair, and within five minutes, she was on her way back to school, where she was the teacher’s favorite and popular and comical among her peers.
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The little girl is now a mother herself. She cannot imagine having the patience to clean vomit and prepare a second set of dress clothes every day. She loves her own daughter, but she cannot imagine this level of enduring patience. When she tells her friends about her childhood nervousness, she holds back tears when she says that her mother’s message—in word and deed—was that she was a courageous and strong little girl, never a shameful or difficult problem.
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The little girl is now a mother herself. She cannot imagine having the patience to clean vomit and prepare a second set of dress clothes every day. She loves her own daughter, but she cannot imagine this level of enduring patience. When she tells her friends about her childhood nervousness, she holds back tears when she says that her mother’s message—in word and deed—was that she was a courageous and strong little girl, never a shameful or difficult problem.
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The little girl who is now an adult knows that this message resonates with her still, and maybe that is why she is able to take risks and engage in life even when she throws up.
The little girl who is now an adult knows that this message resonates with her still, and maybe that is why she is able to take risks and engage in life even when she throws up.
Oh, kj! If this is your mom, and this is you, then you were both so very brave. You, to keep trying every day, and your mom, to keep trying every day. :) What a fabulous story, and I too, think there just might be more at work here than coincidence. This brought tears to me eyes! xox Pam
ReplyDeletepam, yup, it's about me and my Mom.
ReplyDeletehonestly pam, i am so glad we've (non-coincidentally) stumbled upon one another. ♥
KJ, beautiful story. I am printing it and pinning it on my softboard at my work table. It will help me a LOT
ReplyDeleteMy dear kj,
ReplyDeletemy eyes welled up too. My first thought was what a sweet little girl in a darling plaid dress.
And my second thought was oh i hope i was a mother like that to my children.
The third was how much i wanted to hug her.
This touched me deeply for many reasons, i love children so, i don't like to see any one upset (especially children), your Mother's compassion, and your sharing.
I wish i could tell you not to worry anymore, but somehow i think it's the worry that propels you forward.
I love your Mother.
love you too,
lori
lubna, thank you and welcome here. if this story helps you i am very honored and very glad!
ReplyDeletemy dearest lori, my Mother is really quite amazing. she is now 94with a memory that doesn't work and yet she is vibrantly alive and wants to live that way. i would love you to meet her. if worry is propelling me forward, hahaha, okay, i've traveled far enough! what am i being prepared for? i don't know but i have to believe it's all worth it.... ♥
What wisdom your mother showed ... in seeing how brave the little girl was to set out every morning like that. Yes your mum was brave and supportive too, but you??? KJ, you were courageous even back then. xx Jos
ReplyDeleteHow tender and beautiful this story is, and the story about finding the story is mystical.
ReplyDeleteYou were a brave and darling little girl whose mother was a darling herself.
(word verification: dudess.
Is that the feminine of dude? !
I so love this story, KJ, of you and your mom. It's filled with tenderness, sweetness, strength, steadfastness and incredible courage. What a loving mother and what a courageous daughter not to give up. Much love, Silke
ReplyDeleteBeautiful story of your mother's love and your courage.
ReplyDeletemoving story of you and yr sweet Mom. Just love the photo and the dress. You are so brave and courageous, going through life with the spirit of a goddess.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, sad, and still so brave.
ReplyDeleteI had childhood nervousness---not quite to that extent---so reading makes me feel like I am *back there* again.
I think I am glad to be HERE, NOW, where I can blow off a lot of stuff, and ruminate about the rest.
Very, very touching....
XXOO!!
Anne
Wow, kj, what a wonderfully brave little girl you were...every day you stood and faced your fear. Every day! And your mother understood and told you how courageous you were...again, every day!
ReplyDeleteI want to tell you how courageous and brave you are today. You learned, way back then, that you could do it (whatever "it" may be)! And in so doing, you will forever be an inspiration to me.
Thank you for this story...that little girl grew up to be an amazing woman!
KJ love,
ReplyDeleteMe and the Buddha who lives under my tree (we dont grow Bodhi trees here, but he does dig the swing) have been having long conversations about everything linking to everything and now being what counts.
What i mean is, that's a beautiful story. Your mom got it big time didnt she? Awesome.
Youre a fabulous human being too.
I loves ya KJ (and Emily too of course!).
XOXOXOXOOXOX
PS Your words of support at the treehouse cause profound happiness :-)
kj That is one serious case of nerves you had to get past. Congratulations on that. How old were you when you finally started to find a wee bit of self assurance?
ReplyDeletejeez, i think i should clarify all these references to my bravery. i was in kindergarden: i had to be brave because i had to go to school! and once i got back there every day, i was fine and funny and well liked and well cared for!
ReplyDeleteokay, with that out of the way, i shall return to all these wonderful comments that remind why i love being here!
jos, i have to laugh about it because if this had been my jessica i would have taken her to a psychiatrist! instead, my Mother just helped me change my clothes and feel brave....♥
lydia, dudess!!! yes!! isn't that the same as 'aspiring babe'? i agree about the mystical part: it struck me as way beyond coincidence that i found this story in this way. ♥
thank you, silke, and much love to you. your enthusiasm is so fresh and so fun. i love to visit your blog for that reason alone! tsup!
thank you,LD. it's time i headed over to your neck of the blog woods. xo
ah, suki, what a comment! you are so incredibly sweet and i thank you so much. when i saw the photo of your Mother, suki, i thought of my Mother. they would have liked one another. xoxox
ReplyDeleteanne, you can blow and ruiminate here anytime!!! i decided to post this story in part because it is all too easy to make our lives look so 'perfect' in the blogs an d why would we want to do that anyway?! it's great fun getting to know you, anne!
my dearest marion, everyday! well, yes, but what else could i have done? it's true i learned an very helpful skill about tenacity and courage, but you know what, marion? i didn't learn how to let go and accept things the way they are very well. i'm kind of learning that one now, and probably not a minute too soon! ♥
rhonda roo, profound happiness is my own self jumping up and around reading your comment!!! i've missed your zany ways, ms. roo. i loves ya too. imagine if we were ms. v's neighbors? the whole neighborhood would fall into wild disrepair and creative explosions and we would giggle and philosophize our way through it all ♥
mark, i think this was my whole year of kindergarden, maybe some of first grade. what strikes me is that my mother made such a small deal of it that i actually felt kind of proud instead of embarrassed. ♥
I remember this beautiful story from last year. Thank you for sharing it again. That picture of you is also very beautiful!
ReplyDeleteLove. xoxo
P.S. Both you and your mother are very brave.
Courage is found in the small anonymous heroic efforts made by loving persons often hidden from the rest of the world. Your mother gave you courage and this shared story may guide another mother struggling with "the whatever" in her life. You have blessed your mother and she blesses you. Imagine and Live in Peace, Mary Helen Fernandez Stewart
ReplyDeleteCourage is found in the small anonymous heroic efforts made by loving persons often hidden from the rest of the world. Your mother gave you courage and this shared story may guide another mother struggling with "the whatever" in her life. You have blessed your mother and she blesses you. Imagine and Live in Peace, Mary Helen Fernandez Stewart
ReplyDeleteNothing says love like compassion and lack of judgment. To encourage someone to persist, not out of stubbornness but out of courage is the greatest gift anyone, parent or not, can give to someone.
ReplyDeleteYour Mother was wise, loving and generous. And that is a trait that one can only learn with an open heart and an open mind.
Your gift arrived yesterday but I didn't get it until today, and I thank you with great joy. Summer reading! You are generous, and kind, patient and forgiving as your Mother taught you with her example. All I can add to this is something that I have been thinking a lot about lately, and that was something my Mother taught me very early on in life:
Compassion is the basis for all Morality. Without it Morality is just a posture, a defense of a political view without defense or a way of defending a wrong position under the aegis of Morality.
Thank you my dear for the story and the gift. Although I could say simply, for the gifts. Hugs from here.
I remember this one. I can't imagine a child being so nervous that she was physically sick. Then good parents will do what it takes and we're good parents.
ReplyDeleteDear KJ, as I did not know you at this time last year, I read your poignant story with fresh eyes....
ReplyDeleteand, of course, I cried.... but also smiled - for your Mother's grace and courage to accept that what you were going though could only be helped by the passage of time. She never rebuked you for coming home with soiled clothes - daily... but changed your outfit, and sent you back to find your way.
In that era of "pristine perfection", your Mother was a marvel - and strong .... Little adorable girl in plaid, I can hardly fathom the depth of your nervousness.... and surely don't see any residual traces in the strong, vibrant woman you are today!
I salute your Mother.... and I send her virtual hugs....
And, you, dear "KJB" - NEVER stop believing in the power of love..
I know I won't -
As for "fated coincidence"... it happens - a lot.....and I am happy you had it touch you today - to share with all of your loving, blogging family!
Big Hugs, dear one!
Love,
♥ Robin ♥
Awww sweetie I remember this story from last year...Im hugging ya tight.
ReplyDeletexoxoxoxoxo
I always loved that post, and have thought of it often. I love the fact that your mom just kept loving you and helping you be brave. She's quite something
ReplyDeleteI remember this lovely story - and reading it again was just as delightful as it was the first time. Just so sweet and such an example of love in action.
ReplyDeleteannie, the more i think about being brave, the more i think 'what's the alternative'?
ReplyDelete:)
hello and welcome mary helen, aha! i see you share an award with me from our fiesty friend anne. thank you for stopping by. i very much appreciate anne's award but i wonder why she didn't give me the one for aspiring babe? hee hee
my dear allegra,
'Compassion is the basis for all Morality'. how aptly said. i agree. thank you for everything. ♥
baino, the funny thing is i didn't see myself as a nervous kid. i was funny and fun and not insecure as far as i knew. if my Mother had handled this differently, i wonder how it would have affected who i've become.... ♥
robin, i wore dresses to kindergarden!!!! and curled hair!! and easter shoes!! too funny. i like the term' fated coincidence'. i can't believe how often it happens. i think once you start 'seeing', you see. xoxo
sonia, i feel it, heart sister! here's a hug back for you! oh and a smooch: tsup!
mim, my Mom would like you alot.
thank you kay. how are you? what are you writing? i hope you know you can send me your poems anytime.
♥
Oh, how cool to see the very young you. And it is truly a testament to your mother - what a loving response to your fears.
ReplyDeleteI remember this story.
ReplyDeleteI remember that brave girl.
I remember that wonderful, loving mother.
And now I'm great friends with that brave girl who has grown into a remarkable woman ;)
xoxoxox
Lo ♥
kj, this memory of yours is very beautiful and that photo is sooo beautiful too.
ReplyDeleteSo much love... thank you for sharing this... it's awesome xx
sorry I haven't been about much in the past week... i'm nursing a sick child (nothing serious) and limiting my computer time to enjoy the sunshine while it lasts as winter is just around the corner.
love to you
xxx Robyn
cs, the fact that i do not recall this anything but 'wasn't i brave?' says everything about my Mother's reaction. xoxo
ReplyDeleteenjoy, robyn. you are worth waiting for anytime. i hope your boy is well soon and i have no doubt your own Mothering is much like described here. xoxox
lo, great friends indeed. lucky me.
xoxo
you always bring tears to my eyes, this is a gift you have. is that your mom in the picture? how beautiful.
ReplyDelete<3 <3 <3
ReplyDeleteHow brave you both are. I understand now that the lessons we go through are not always the ones we teach later on. But they are just as significant as the giving in the first lesson.
ReplyDeleteThe example the mother set, gave the child the wisdom to do what is right when and where it was needed when she was a mother.
Beautiful!!!
I always heard that there were no coincidneces and now I finally think I understand (sometimes there is denseness,LOL) everything is on purpose.