Six Word Saturday: Be Your Own Piece of Peace

Artwork by Chintsala

Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behaviors. Keep your behaviors positive because your behaviors become your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny. M.K. Gandhi

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I came across this quote on Facebook yesterday at about the same time I read my daily dose of Dear Abby (which by the way is now called Dear Margo.) Both got me thinking: Okay already--I know my happiness is in my own hands. I know I can choose to lean toward healing and helping and away from hurting and blaming. Theoretically, I know this 100%. Of course Gandhi is right. End of case. But do I hold on and act from this place when I most need to? Ha! So when I read Dear Abby aka Margo's column yesterday it was none too soon. The column was entitled:

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Words to remember to help fight fair.

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Perfect.

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I'll take some of that. In fact, I'm sharing my portion.

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God and everyone else knows the holidays are stressful; even when they're good, they're stressful. It's no crime to want to punch Uncle Billy in the nose for his table manners, tell Sister Sally you've had enough of her whining, react in shock and indignation because your partner and your kids overlook something that matters monumentally to you.

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So when (and let's face it: it's when, not 'if") you find yourself in holiday conflict, here's some practical advice, above and below, from a couple gurus plus me:

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By way of Gretchen Rubin at http://www.happiness-project.com/, Dear Margo, & yours truly kjbabe:

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Phrases to keep your significant other conflagrations on the down-low:

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Please try to understand my point of view.

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Wait, can I take that back?

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You don't have to solve this--it helps me to just talk to you.

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This is important to me. Please listen.

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I overreacted.

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I see you're in a tough position.

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I can see my part in this.

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I hadn't thought of it that way before.

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I could be wrong.

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Let's agree to disagree on that.

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This isn't just your problem; it's our problem.

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I'm feeling unappreciated.

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We're getting of the subject.

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You've convinced me.

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Let's take a break for a few minutes. (note: this is one of the best when tempers flare)

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Please keep talking to me.

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I realize it's not your fault.

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That came out all wrong.

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I see how I contributed to the problem.

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What are we really fighting about?

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How can I make things better.

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I'm sorry.

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I love you.

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And, at no extra charge, against my better judgement, the final word goes to Ms. Emily Rabbit:

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It's me, Emily. Just in case, I keep it simple and say this:

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It's all your fault!

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I am innocent!

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Give me a present and I'll forget everything.

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BAAHAHABAAHAABOOHOOBAAHAABOOHOO.

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Happy weekend.

Love

kj