Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Animal Wednesday: The Poet Emily

I stole this picture
Hello every one, it's me Emily. Did you think I was really in jail? Well, I kind of was but only for an hour because the local Board of Health said that rabbits are not allowed to be placed in jail with people so they called Animal Control but Animal Control said they do not get involved with animals who commit crimes unless it is because of destruction of property or barking too loud or growling at or biting little children and joggers and I didn't do any of that so they had to release me.

Plus I was innocent.
And it's a good thing because kj said she wouldn't put up my bail this time and Babs and Mr. Babs invited me to Oklahoma so I went there by bus, train, car, wheel barrel, wagon and go cart until I got to the Oklahoma City Go Cart and Bus Terminal and Babs picked me up and Mr. Babs made me a carrot salad for me which was very nice even though he forgot to include the raspberry dressing.
Now I am at Cape Coddy with kj and Stella and I spent the day bobbing in the ocean with Muck, Truck and Fuck duck, who you may remember are my friends here, along with Gregory Squirrel who I will sneak out to meet later tonight we climb trees while he looks for nuts and I look for radishes and jellybeans.
Last night I went to the birthday party of Thaddeus Rabbit, who is a well known poet. Here is a picture of him. Can you tell he is alittle odd? He writes poems about trees and mountains and gardens and streams. Very very boring. But you can see that he had a good time at his party. I don't know what happened to his ears and I almost asked him but I didn't.
Since he is a poet, I decided to write my own poems instead. I am noticing that people don't know what to do when someone hurts their feelings or is mean to them so I am giving some rare lyrical free advice:
# 1
Don't be mean
You lima bean!
If you aren't nice
I'm throwing ice
at your head
so you better tread
and be sweet instead
I could could even throw
wet spaghetti too.
# 2
If you start boasting
You won't be coasting
because I'll start toasting
and your a__ will be roasting!
(it could be a___: ankle)
go away you pickle!
you're not worth a nickel!
not even candy
can make you dandy!
if you are hatching
to be clingy and latching
I will throw ink at you
and you will turn blue.
I hope this is a good start.
Don't let any one push you around.
And don't forget you can always cry very very loud. But also kick your feet straight up in the air.
At the same time is best.
Emily V. V. Rabbit


  1. Hi Emily, I love your poems and think you could become a famous poet. I also love your Uncle (I think he's your uncle) he looks very odd, but beautiful. Kiss KJB for me and have fun in Cape Coddy!

  2. I especially love # 3 you crazy rabbit. please give KJ a kiss from me and a jellybean too

  3. Emily, you are an amazing poet. I especially like "Go away you pickle, you are not worth a nickel." Brilliant! I intend to say that the next time someone annoys me. :) Have fun in the sun you little bun...nee. Your friend, Pam

  4. Emily you have found your calling. Poet of Provincetown. I hope you had fun at Bab's house. Did she take you to the lake? I see your hoof prints in the sand so I know you are having fun. Be well, Suki

  5. Don't let any one push you around.

    great words, my new mantra dear emily. soon you will be with lololo and marianne and her son, so let us know next week all the fun you had. who drew that marvellous picture? was it babs or mr babs?

  6. I like the poem No. 1. I intend to use the first part a lot!

    How very nice of your Uncle to hold you under his wing, so to speak, and give you inspiration for poetry. I would love to read Uncle's you know where I can find a book by him, Emily?

    So happy you're at Cape Coddy with kj and friends...I'm going to the coast myself today, only on the other side of the continent. I will put a message in a bottle and send it off to you!

  7. annie, thank you very much. i am thinking of charging $ 3 a poem and then you can say it to anyone you want. that is not my uncle: that is a strange poet

    mim, thank you very much. i have only one bag of jellies so far here in cape coddy. do you really think i should give kj one?

    yoborobolobo, hello! thank you very much. you can use this poem for free for three months. then we can talk about it, okay?

    suki, yes, babs and mr. babs showed me a wonderful time. and as we all know, what happened in the lake was not my fault...

    soulbrush, i stole that picture from kj's birthday card. i just took it because what a coincidence that it was of thaddeus rabbit the poet!

    marion, he is not my uncle. he is a kind of strange rabbit and he writes zzzzzz poetry. will you please send that message in a bottle to me, marion? that will be so fun. i will plan to pick it up next august 14 at fisherman's pier near mojo's hamburgers. okay?

    ps cape coddy is very fun.

    yours truly

  8. well, what a smart poem. it looks like you and kj both are getting alot of thinking and writing done there in cape coddy!
    i am envious of your bobbing and rolling and eating (jellybeans)while on holiday little miss e.r.


  9. Most excellent advice poems.