Sunday, April 04, 2010

Rumblings at # 9

. .
And just to confirm that perfection does not reside anywhere close to # 9, the woodpile from last fall waits patiently for its proper stacking.
Lost and Found
She wakes with one foot at peace
And the other rumbling, tumbling
Concerned for something quite unknown.
It is spring today. Fast moving finches
Turn curious beaks toward the tall birdhouse
That stands outside the kitchen window.
What happened that night it and the chirps inside
Fell to the ground, only a scattered feather or two
Telling a vague and troubled story?
She is still for a moment—
The sound of the kettle just before it steams,
Wondering how anything could be amiss on this day,
Rumbling, tumbling—curious how she could today
Feel unsettled, sometimes lost, sometimes found,
Either way with empty pockets and partial gratitude.
She looks at this grateful dog
Her mind reviewing
Every real reason this is a good good day.
There will be time to plant the peas
And plan the garden.
There will be no work today, no chores to speak of.
No sickness, no broken promises, no unexpected loss.
No late payments, no betrayals,
Not even an empty gas tank.
Today is a good day.
She asks ever so slightly,
a moment before the commitment is made:
How she can be so wise, and so lucky, so alive,
So aware
And too, so paperthin?
She rises from the night,
Feeds the dog, makes the coffee,
Answers the phone, picks up the mail,
Calls the dentist, waters the plants,
Readies the peas:
Every act, now,
born of
cautious hope for a good good day.
I wrote this poem last year in the midst of a horrible and confusing time, ready even then to let spring steady my feet and expand my heart. Time has a way....
If this happens to be a good time for your own rejunvenation or rebirth, you could not be more welcomed here!


  1. Lovely sweet poem, hope you're having a marvellous weekend!

  2. I could tell, this is not the Kj of today, I feel the pain and I relate to it. I ran into my love yesterday at the store and I felt strong and able to handle it, instead of crying like I usually do. We get stronger everyday, don't we? Lovely writing. Happy Easter. Love.xoxo

  3. sag, hello and thank you, it's always nice to hear from you. ♥

    annie, 'the kj of today'--i like the sound of that, annie. what a wonderful comment you've left: i am so glad you can feel how far you've come. i think letting go is one of the hardest human challenges. happy happy easter. ps i love you too, annie.

  4. Touching poem. Thanks for the sentiments here.

  5. Such beautiful photos and a heart-wrenching poem kj - so glad things are better for you now, time is indeed magical. Happy Easter and Spring! xoxoxo Susan

  6. one of the good things about a broken heart is that it won't last ;)
    it's not fuel for life... just short term growth.

    kj that first photos is a little rude through my eyes... it made me smile and that's the kind of cheeky monkey I am or some would say silly chook :)

    big love to you xx

  7. I love love love the poem....and you ;)


    I think I'll call you now!
    word verif=hyper!

    ME??? I'm not hyper! Do you think I'm hyper? Oh look, a goose!

  8. KJ, beautiful, poignant words...from a beautiful, vibrant woman who is DEFINITELY experiencing renewal and rebirth.

    I am waaaay behind you in this, but I am trying and getting stronger every day.

    Storming, windy, pounding rain here - plus a 7.2 earthquake down in Baja... didn't feel it in SF, but freinds in LA certainly did.

    Sending you love and Easter blessings!

    ♥ Robin ♥

  9. Hi KJ :) Spring is here again.. and so is the reminder of hope.

    Sending you love and hugs,

  10. Love the photos....Love ya Em..

    doing so much better today. The poem was beautful. Your gifted with words...


  11. rosaria, thanks for stopping by. i hope you are dried out by now!!

    susan, 'heartwrenching'. that is such a painful word: you can also feel the tightening. thanks for your sentiments; it's funny, because i thought the poem was actually more hopeful than sad, but the authenticity wins out!

    robyn, "one of the good things about a broken heart is that it won't last ;)
    it's not fuel for life... just short term growth."

    oh jeez, robyn, here is another of your gems. i will remember this one too! some people think you can not reach your full potential until you experience a broken heart. i would rather learn another way, but i think this may be true... ♥

    lo, hhahahaaha! you are so funny when you think you are so funny!!!
    i hope you had a grand day. talk to you soon enough! ♥

    robin, i don't think you are waaay behind me. i am just trying to settle down and settle in and trust that all is as it should be. i think that is what you are doing too. somedays are better than others, but, finally, some days are best! xoxox

    silver, you inspire me. thank you for coming by. i think about you sometimes and i hope some of your days are best also. xoxo

    sonia, yay for a good day for you! double yay! i think/hope spring will help you all the way around. ♥

  12. Hi Kj, I'm glad Spring has Sprung for you, point your face to the sun and grow towards it ... Tsupsie Smiles*!*

  13. robyn, by the way, how could i have neglected to laugh at your comment about that first rude little photo?! hahaha!! i KNOW what you are thinking! hahaheehee!

    annie, 'point my face to the sun and grow toward it'? hmmpf! okay! i will, dammit! good advice!!

  14. kj, i was so moved by the poem you wrote. everyword felt so carefully thought out, it is just fantastic.

    i'm glad you are "today kj", letting last years painful memories fade away. have you a new poem?

    are you growing weiner flowers in your garden? :)

  15. lori, this poor miniature magnolia bud will never live this down!!!!!!

    what was i thinking????

    it's a funny thing about poetry, at least it is for me: it's easier to write poems from sadness than from joy. but i like that you asked because i've been wondering what i would write about today..

  16. Of course I had to flip back to look again at the flowers in light of comments so far!

    It does seem that growth through painful experiences and heartbreak has a different quality to wisdom gained in other ways. The KJ of today would not be this way otherwise.

    But I do understand what you mean Karen ... that it would be nice to be spared the pain.

    Now ... about these flowers, har har har. xx

  17. looks pretty normal to me. love the poem. hope your easter was super and lotsa bunnies brought lotsa egss and laughter.

  18. A beautiful poem, KJ! Spring always seems a time for renewal for me, even if I'm generally happy and doing well. Still, I always feel the need to be more conscious, to connect with nature and to find just a little more balance and calm. Thanks for the inspiration!! Love, Silke

  19. Beatiful sproutings of spring in your world.
    Lovely poem, I can feel the turmoil just underneath the grace and hope!
    Thanks kj, I hope all of you had a wonderful Easter and Ryan got all the eggys. I hope Emily's easter was calm with lots of jelly beans.
    Your mom has is right, Messy Christmas, that is eggxactly what I think!!
    Have a wonderful week,
    Love and huge hugs.

  20. jos, thank you for a most insightful comment. i chose to post this poem because it was about spring; i didn't realize my pain from there would be so obvious. a terrible loss and breakdown doesn't really go away, i've found, but time provides a place for it to settle. i know you understand that. ♥

    soul, aha! how could you pass up this sexual metaphor?! :)

    silke, spring is my favorite. you're right: it renews and replenishes! xoxo

    marie, "the turmoil just underneath the grace and hope!"
    that is a beautiful phrase, marie. i'm sure so many of us understand that. ryan uncharacteristically ate so much chocolate he threw up, which he thought was kind of cool!

  21. Love the poetry. I can never force the words to come. Sometimes it happens and is wonderful.
    Sometimes it is crappy letter-soup. ;)
    I am definitely in a phase of needed restarting and a rebirth of sorts. Last year beat me around a lot......
    This year has to be better!!!


  22. anne, i can't force the words either. manohman, i hope this is a restorative year for you! i will be happy to be part of the fun, and just so you know, i welcome the authenticity of hard times. :)

  23. wait...that's NOT a proper woodpile? It's wood. In a pile. I'd say you are done.

  24. Your poem is how I feel every Saturday! Sorry to hear you're not well,stay warm and take a little chicken soup for the soul!