Animal Wednesday: Emily Rabbit's Cousin Fiona

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Hello Everyone, it's me, Emily. I almost didn't have time to write this week because my cousin Fiona came to visit. She arrived in the middle of the night with a big suitcase.

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Fiona is the third daughter of my Uncle Bunny's brother-in-law Bernard T. Bunny. I only met her once before now, when she visited Bunnyville on her way to France. Anyway, I have not gotten the attention I usually deserve because Stella the Dog had an operation so I was glad to that Fiona's Mother sent her here before she headed to New York City to audition in a play called "Little Rabbits."

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But she turned out to be not so much fun. It's not my fault because I tried!

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"Fiona, let's go outside and steal some lettuce from the neighbor's garden."

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"No," Fiona said, "We shouldn't take anything that doesn't belong to us."

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"Then let's roll down some hills."

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"No I don't want to get dirty."

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"Then how about we throw some frozen peas at the garage window?"

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Fiona crinkled her nose. "No thank you."

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"Do you cry and whine, Fiona?"

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'No. Why would I?"

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That was the last straw. That's when I realized my cousin Fiona is not fun and I didn't feel guilty leaving her home while I went out to play.

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But I didn't like it when I came back and she was too busy to even look up and say hello.

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My cousin Fiona found someone who didn't mind staying inside and reading books with her. Can you believe it? They spent the rest of her vacation reading stories out loud, sharing cherry garcia ice cream, and enjoying the sun through the kitchen window.

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Who the heck is Emily Plush??? kj said she is related to her friend Yoborobohobo but all I know is she was perfectly content to be boring with Fiona, who before she left invited Emily Plush to New York City to watch her audition for the play. Hmmmmmpf!

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Actually I think it a shame that a relative of mine does not know how to throw frozen peas and doesn't have garden-stealing skills. When Emily Plush gets back from New York City, I am going to ask her to play and see what happens.

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Can you imagine anyone not wanting to play?

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I can't.

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Yours truly

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Emily Rabbit

Stella

She's an older girl. She had surgery today and it was not easy for her.

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JB and I picked Stella up at six tonight and we were shocked when the vet nurse brought her out. She couldn't stand, she fell on her hind legs, to the ground, when she tried to walk.

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Her right leg was in a bandage-cast. Her head was shaved and two four inch stitches, two inches apart. We stupidly agreed to have a benign removed since she was have surgery for her cancerous tumor anyway. Mistake. There are three cuts in her skin instead of one, and they hurt.

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She is in pain, unsteady. She must have been very afraid without us.

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Stella came to us from a rescue shelter four years ago. Her life had not been easy, and over time (like a year or more) she learned to trust us.

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Her judgement is right about that. She can trust us to the moon and back.

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So tonight, JB and I are taking turns staying with her, on the floor next to her bed if needed, and tomorrow and the next day, we will (with difficulty) juggle our work so that one of us is home. She needs us. She can't walk, she'll have to pee, she needs her pain meds. She has a family and at its best that's what a family does.

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We can't be sure that this tumor will not return again. It hopefully won't but it might. If it does, I doubt we'd put her through this again.

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We can't be sure. But we are fucking damn sure that this dog is loved to the endth degree and she knows it. She is on her bed now, grateful to be home. As are we.

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Love love

kj

Five Minutes on a Friday Night

Sometimes the light hits just right.

And in just five minutes

it dances and glows and paints shadows

that surround and make silly

the inhabitants inside

assuring them that

there will be dinner on the grill,

plenty in the pantry,

laughter in the love,

and jaw dropping wonder from the kitchen window.....

Sometime you just look around

and your only prayer

is 'thank you.'

Love

kj

An Out-of-Body Experience

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HAHAHA!

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Okay, this was me five years ago, but then and now, don't I wish!

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In the interest of full disclosure, this little cut out along with JB's sat atop of the celebration (okay, wedding) cake that she and I had for 45 of our dearest friends and family in Provincetown, one fantabulicious May weekend.

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I joke about my 'kjbabes' project, but the truth is I want (aka 'need') to get in shape to the point where I am happy with my swagger again. I want to tuck my teeshirts in. I want my knee to say 'dammit, it's about time I don't have to carry an extra fifth grader."

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And yet....

Isn't it true that I do myself a disservice when I judge and criticize myself because of weight or appearance? This gets me thinking about all of us and the blogs. I have fallen in love in the blogs. I have made friends that I adore and treasure, and they will be my friends for life. I keep up with their comings and goings, I rejoice in their successes, I marvel at their talents. I love and I am loved back.

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All this without bodies. Often I don't know and always I don't care who is overweight or underweight, who hikes and who hibernates, who is fashionable and who isn't. That isn't what matters. What matters is that I have the good fortune and privilege of loving and sharing with good wonderful kind interesting creative soulful people; people who are real.

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There has been a lesson here for me. I knew it, I know it, I sometimes forget it, and I work to remember. What matters is INSIDE. Of course I want to be healthy and I want to like how I look, how I walk and dress, what my 'costume' and body says about me. Of course. But not at the expense of feeling 'less than.' Nor ever at the expense of feeling 'less than.'

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I'm right about this. Right?

Love

kj

Then

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What was your childhood?

What did you want people

to understand about you then?

Who was on your bus?

Maybe because I feel like I've just come full circle, and maybe because I've been in a clinical training group that looks at such things, but I-the-adult has in some way re-established a connection with I-the-child. It is an interesting and compassionate connection.

In words and pictures, here are my answers to these questions:

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I grew up in a two parent middle class household. My father was a self employed mason and housebuilder and my Mother was first a supermarket cashier and later the head seamtress at a state school. There was always money for food, for a new Easter outfit, for Christmas presents and a new bike.

My parents loved me. And although I'm sure she didn't think twice about it, and certainly never meant to hurt me, my Mother gave high regard and high priority to the opinions of others. The teachers. The neighbors. The relatives. The priests. In my Mother's eyes, these opinions carried weight that mine did not.

Even early on, I handled this by being charming, funny, smart, entertaining, seemingly self-confident. I worked at being liked. It was, I think, my way of being heard.

So when I did this exercise with a group of colleagues, I realized that it might be time, finally, for me to put my thoughts and opinions front and center, ahead of and before they were filtered or adjusted through somebody else's perceptions. It is time for me to stand proud and firm behind myself, and I am so glad.

Who was on my bus? I was a little girl in a small world. I think it's kind of charming that I counted RinTinTin, Sally Fields, and my parakeet among my companions and supporters.

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And you?

What was your childhood?

What did you want people

to understand about you?

Who was on your bus?

Of course I love your comments. I adore reading every word of them. But if you'd like to draw out your answers, maybe share them on your own blog, well....I hope you do. You might find yourself saying hello to a special child you've always known.

Love

kj

Animal Wednesday: Emily's Bar None Award

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I, Emily Rabbit, am giving out my very own award to certain people. It is called the BAR NONE AWARD and it is for anyone who:

--is not afraid to throw themselves on the ground, cry deep from their stomach, and kick their legs high in the air if the situation is important enough

--is willing to roll down hills, eat chocolate even if you might get sick, and a lot of the time play instead of work

--really whine when necessary

--might be willing to invest in a jellybean farm

--and of course try to stay out of jail but sometimes you can't help it and if you do get arrested keep telling everyone it's not your fault

--oh and be nice most of the time and sometimes share your candy

Anyone who wants this award can have it right now!

Last time I tried to give out an award I got in trouble because I left important people out so this time I am giving this award to EVERYONE, but if nobody minds I am mentioning certain people by name:

Marianne: My bestest friend and she can paint

Studio Lolo: kj's bestest friend and she can paint too

Valerie WalshValGal: kj loves her and she can paint too

Soulbrush: who keeps threatening to cook me but hahhaha I know she wouldn't because she is too soft and sweet

Auntie Mim: she paints the best fish and she introduced me to Ms. Em who like me isn't afraid to get in trouble and can't you just see her rolling down hills, jumping off cliffs, and banging into walls?

Lori times five but really six: kj loves her and she takes the best pictures

AnnieCoe/The Blissful Bohemian: she just rolls and jumps and doesn't usually worry about falling

Wrobin/The Very Purple Hour (heehee): I think she kinda loves me and I am sure she would visit me in jail (right, wrobin?)

Baino: her name is really Hells and kj says she is going to sit on the couch at # 9 and drink so much chardy she will tell kj all her secrets

Pam/Yoborobo or is it Roboyobo: I think she and kj are peas in a purple pod

Marion: kj loves her because she knows about wolves and magic and she talks to animals (hello marion! it's me, emily! how are you today?)

Snowbrush: he is so clever and a very funny wise a--- so he makes me and everyone else think and laugh at the same time (I did not swear even though I really should have spelled out a--

AngelaRecada: she and kj are twinkly twins and she gave kj the best Christmas present ever

Deborah/Midlife Poet: I hope she will like me alot alot because I am giving her this Award and she LOVES awards, and also because she is very pretty and she has a pool

Silke: she is kj's new friend and she paints all these nice women who I think might be willing to share their jellybeans

Anne/El Milagro Studio: she is definitely willing to get in trouble if a good reason comes up and I have a feeling she would bail me out of jail if needed

Robyn/Ribbon: she knows how to be sweet and wise all at once and kj thinks she is terrific

Marie/Art from my heart: she makes her fun art look like fun because she has fun doing it and she doesn't mind having fun saying so, plus she can be mushy when she gives compliments

Ms. V./A Fanciful Twist: kj says she would make a great neighbor because she is very unusual and doesn't care if any one thinks she is strange.

& TADA:

Suki!!! Suki is a seeker and she likes me. How could anyone top that? (suki, blame kj for omitting your name even though it was here. Don't forget not to blame me.)

Oh, and just so you know here is who else is getting this award and if I forgot anyone blame kj because it is not my fault. I am just a little rabbit. If I forgot you you get the award double.

beautiful babs, super sonia, party pattee, happy arizona linda, the best watercolorist ever caroline, daring debra kay, smartfeisty allegra, beloved human being, sometimes missing rhonda roo, sweet lydia, wonderful wieneke, supersmart mariana, angel julie-ann, tweety bimbimbie, master poet mark, saucy secret agent, swell susan and cosmo, colorful chewy, talented karin, ms. lakeviewer, the incredible tessa, sweetsweetmango, noble nollyposh, linda lime, sweet sophia, smart cosmic stacey, brave jos, gorgeous chrisy, another master poet kay, terrific teri who blesses all of us with fur, barbara who watches the sky, musical margaret, sweet silver, fill in your name here if i forgot, and kj says never ever ever forget renee.

Please give this award out to anyone who meets the Bar None! description and don't forget to tell them they don't have to behave or be nice to accept the award.

Sincerely yours,

Emily Rabbit

T'was a Good Weekend

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On Friday I sent out 30 pages of my manuscript for editing and critique next weekend.

(this is where I love to go to write. I don't end up at this coffeehouse/cafe often enough, but when I think of myself as a writer, I often think of myself here.)

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I received the loveliest flowers and the loveliest chocolates (peanut butter filling with chocolate icing and topped with salt. the salt was fantastic) from the loveliest daughter.
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I gave the loveliest flowers to the loveliest Mother.
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With very mixed and very tender feelings, along with my beloved JB I spent two days cleaning out the house I was born in and grew up in so it can be rented or sold.
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I found treasures in the form of recipes, photos, wallets, books, and memories embedded in the walls.
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I nonchalantly looked up at the chimney...
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...and came eye to eye with this very concerned raccoon.

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JB was sure it was not okay for a family of raccoons to be residing in the chimney so we googled it. It's true: it's not good for the chimney and it's especially not good for the raccoons if you use the fireplace. Indeed this Mother's concern was about protecting her babies inside. We would leave her family alone. They will all move out of the chimney when the babies are ready to wander on their own.

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However: want to know how to get rid of raccoons in a chimney. Here:
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1. Put a radio in the fireplace and play rock and roll music LOUD, or
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2. Put a flashlight in the fireplace and shine it upward, or
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3. If you need extra ammunition, add a bucket of ammonia and just let it sit there.

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It turns out raccoons, like the rest of us, just want peace and quiet.

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And finally, you'll have to go to to this special blog to learn the story of this found heart. And when you get there, have a look around. I'm sure you'll find your visit worthwhile.

http://compilationofhearts.blogspot.com/2010/05/my-fathers-heart.html

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Ooops. Don't go here afterall! It's by invitation only while the architects are at work.

Here's wishing everyone a good week, my dearest friends and visitors.

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Love!

kj

Mother's Day

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Mom and Baby Mr. Drew

When I wrote this a good while back, my Mother was still living by herself in the house my Father and his Father built 65 years ago. Now she lives ten minutes from me, in a rest home where she has her own room and is comfy and happy. She uses a walker after breaking her hip and falling several times.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom.

I love you to the moon and back.

Mom and the Orthopod

When I arrive at your house, you're impeccably dressed and waiting. You know we are going somewhere but you ask me five times from the living room and five times in the car where we are headed, and why.

I answer you factually eight times and impatiently twice, but not impatiently enough that you tell me I'm not being nice, so I guess you don't notice my slips.

We have made this appointment for your knees because it's obvious you can't maneuver stairs without using a banister to pull yourself up, and lately you've asked if you can get a cortisone shot. But today you do not remember any of that, and you tell me your knees are pretty good.

We don't know this doctor. Dr. R recommended him and I am glad because the other knee guy, Dr. H, was too rote. This doctor has looked at your x-rays before we arrive (good sign) and asks you to tell him what about your knees bothers you. You say, "The weather".

He says, "No, I mean, can you walk a mile? What can't you do?"

I am amazed he asks my 90 year old mother if she walks a mile. She answers directly, "No doctor, but I never could walk a mile." She and I smile. He continues.

He tells my mother, "Your knees are bone on bone. You could have surgery but I doubt you want that." My mother agrees. He continues, "You should be fine as long as you avoid stairs."

You say, "I can't--my laundry is in the cellar."

He says, "You have to find someone to do your laundry then. You shouldn't do stairs."

You smile. I know this is going right over your proud defiant head.

He tells you again. This time you act surprised. "Oh,"you say, "I can't use the stairs?"

He says, "Are you in the same room as me?"

Normally I would find a way to tell him politely but clearly to be more respectful and civil, but my mother does not let on she cannot remember from minute to minute and he is trying his best to make a point.

When you again do not hear, he says, "Look, your knees are not stable. If you continue to use the cellar stairs, you will fall and break your neck and die. Then you won't have to worry about your knees."

My mother smiles.

When we get home, I am determined to use this in-your-face medical appointment to wean you off stairs once and for all. I tell you the doctor has forbidden you to go down the cellar. You protest and refuse, "I am not going to stop doing my laundry."You are emphatic.

I become more forceful, to which you finally look at me straight on and say, "kj, you're making me feel like I'm a hundred years old........."

Love

kj

Animal Wednesday: Emily Rabbit & Stay Away From The Bars!

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Embellished Slightly by a Slightly Interested Party

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BOOHOOHOOBOOHOO!

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kj told me to stay away from the bars

but I thought she meant

I should not sneak into a gymnastics class.

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Or get arrested again.

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Or go to law school.

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So when my friend Gregory Squirrel

told me I could get free celery

if I sat at bar stool

and ordered a bloody Mary

(as opposed to a bloody Marilyn)

I thought why not?!

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How was I to know the bar was not safe?

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I escaped by the skin of my petrified ears.

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Sincerely Yours even though I'm still crying

and might be in need of bunny counseling,

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Emily Rabbit

I Don't Know What To Title This...

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This is the first collage I have ever done. The making of it occurred yesterday on my porch in the creative company of two women I love.

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My partner JB, my dearest friend Lo, and I played like first graders yesterday afternoon. Before and after we had lobster rolls outside on the patio, walked in the park, grilled outside and ate dinner in the glow of sunset, and laughed, talked, shared, & enjoyed.

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I've had a lovely weekend.

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I had no vision of creating a collage. No advance message, no pre-conceived ideas, no established structure. But here it is. Lo looked at it last night and said, "kj, it's you, who will become a writer."

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I can see that. But I don't think this little girl is just me. I think she is all of us in some core way. She is alone, she is contemplative, she sits in the natural world and is not afraid. She is learning. She will learn.

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I have been thinking this week about honesty on my blog. If you've followed me for some time, you know that I've had a rough couple of years, watching and then facing a relationship I trusted and was committed to blow apart. For me, the aftermath has been feeling betrayal and witnessing vilification from someone I never thought would direct any of those things toward me.

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I don't write about it too much any more. I have needed to move on whether I understand or accept or not. And for the most part, my optimism and hope and faith in myself and others is back. I doubt I'll ever be bitter; I hope I will still love more, not less; and I'm pretty sure I don't have to do anything except live my life.

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I am saying this today because I know I am not alone experiencing loss, disappointment, confusion. Sometimes here in my blog and in the wider blogs it can look like so many of us have such creative fulfilled problem-free lives. Hello! It's me, kj, announcing that I am definitely blessed but I can also struggle!

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I have had a totally wonderful weekend. I am so damn lucky in so so many ways, and better still, I know that. But I've found it's better for me to be real about my feelings, to let them be whatever they are, than to try to pretty things up, here for you, or here within myself.

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That is my message today. Be where you are. Feelings come and go. Are there highs without lows? I don't think so. Time heals. Moments matter. The grace of life comes from loving and being loved. From creating and caring. From using your hands to make, your head to figure, your heart to reach another.

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Thank you JB. Thank you Lo. Thank you Stella. Thank you my friends and visitors here. Thank you lettuce plants.

Love

kj

What Would You Do?

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Say you are waiting for one of your closest

and totally fun friends to arrive for the weekend.

Say it's a beautiful morning.

Say you have about two hours before the fun begins.

Say you have sixteen work reports to write by Monday.

And there is firewood to stack from last fall.

And say you have two six packs of lettuce

to plant in the garden.

And you are way behind on visiting your beloved blog friends.

What would you do???

More More More More Novel in a Paragraph

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A word of explanation: I am writing a novel where short snippets will hopefully tell a story all by themselves but will also combine with other short snippets to reveal a deeper story. Here in my blog, perhaps once a week, I will share a few snippets, but in no sequence for logical order. That part comes much later.

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Tipping Point

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The tipping point came about because of the Girl Scouts. Catherine mentioned she had been a Troop Leader in Malaysia.

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“The girl scouts,” Casey laughed, “That’s worse than being a Republican.”

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The response was immediate. “Listen Casey, what the frick is your problem with the Girl Scouts? They help girls all over the world.” Then Catherine added, “I am still a card carrying active Girl Scout.”

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Casey could not muffle her laughter. That was her second mistake.
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“If you can’t handle that, I have nothing more to say to you. We are too different, that’s all. So there,” Catherine was furious.

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Casey tried to interrupt several times. She apologized. She said she had been thinking of the Boy Scouts, not the Girl Scouts. She ever so gently raised the issue of homophobia, her third mistake: all in the span of 15 seconds.

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“What are you talking about?”, Catherine screamed, “We don’t talk about sex with the girls. We don’t ask about sexual preference. That whole subject would never come up. These are little girls. They don’t even know that word. Are you crazy?”

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Steaming, Catherine hung up with a bang. When she called back within the hour, she and Casey seamlessly transitioned to talk about art and recipes and the impossibility of finding love and levity through the internet.

Animal Wednesday: Emily the Emerging Poet

wrobin, see?
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Hee Hee it's me.

Emily.

This is a poem.

I hope you don't moan.

It's spring and I'm happy

I feel silly and snappy.

I can teach you boo hoo

if you don't know what to do.

I can show you my stash

of jellybeans I eat fast.

I have recipes for people stew

but kj said not to.

Just because I'm small

I'm still a know-it-all.

Sometimes I sing

When I want something.

And sometimes I just grin.

I am trying to rhyme

it's hard not to whine

while I rhyme

at least sometime.

Do you know Pam's skellies

Go well with my jellies?

And do you know a good story

about Owen and Lori?

What about Lololo

where will she go

on Saturday

is she coming my way?

And my friend Marianne

who has a new plan.

I know all of this

because I really don't miss

what's going on

while I tag along.

This is the end of my poem

did you moan?

I didn't swear or whine

And I still had a good time.
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Sincerely,

Emily V.V. Rabbit

Three Weekend Visitors

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Mr. Cardinal

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Mr. Bumblebee
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Mr. Baby Drew
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The little things?
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They aren't little...
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note to kj, take a photography class!
you may have unactualized potential...

Saturday

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I love it when I get to see where someone I care about lives. I hope I don't bore you showing you my yard, which is where I've spent the day today.

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This is the side yard and this is JB's studio, called the Magic Cottage. When is warm enough to wear short sleeves and cold enough to be comfortable, like today, JB and I love the process of opening up and welcoming the yard after a snow filled winter. We bring out our lawn furniture and check out every plant and bush and tree.

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Last year I planted a couple of small trees; the front one is a peach tree. I have never planted any kind of fruit tree before and the branches were so full of peaches everything ended up on the ground. So today I pruned. I kept the stronger branches and cut all the little ones. My fingers are crossed.

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Like blogging, I am determined not let gardening be anything but fun. I don't mind taking my sweet old time. Today I cut back a bush that hadn't been touched for years, raked up the leaves all under it, mixed a wheel barrel of top soil and manure (I don't touch) and peat moss, planted three lilies, and turned over and mixed the soil in my backyard flower bed.
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JB did even more.
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And we hauled up our patio furniture, opened the umbrella, spread out the cozy chairs, and did a little planning and planting and pruning in a few areas, here and there.

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We had lunch and dinner outside.

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We bought perrenials at a church fair.

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JB put these azaleas in water. I don't know if floating them like this will work, but my picture doesn't do it justice. Beautiful and serene.

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How often do I take a break in one of these chairs? Very often.

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The back yard slowly came to life today. There is so much landscaping to be done, but I'm in no rush. I tackle little sections at a time, like my Mother's theory of cleaning 'one wall at a time.'
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Aaaaah. Agggh. Some rain must fall even on a fine day. This is our new floor in the very tiny laundry room. You can see our royal blue washer and dryer, which just arrived yesterday. So far so good. But....our trusty carpenter has been preoccupied with another project. He has squeezed us in and hasn't been his thoughtful reliable self. He was not here when the electrician put in the new plugs or when the plumber set up the new water thingy.

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The hole for the vent was cut in the wrong place on the floor. The outlets are too high so the plugs and wires show. The back door barely opens past the washing machine. We emptied our kitchen cabinets waiting for a cabinet removal that hasn't happened. The house is kind of a mess.

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Really, we've been pissed. And sad that this hasn't been the fun we expected. JB and I love making improvements to the house, especially when we don't have to do any of the work ourselves!

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But things happen. This is a guy who's been good to us. I keep telling myself: this is not a serious illness. This is not living an oppressive country. This is a little laundry and kitchen remodel. This is a person I think will make things right.

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I feel very mature saying this! I am trying to keep things in perspective these days.

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It's been a beautiful day. I have been outside all day doing what I love with a woman I love.

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I am not complaining. Not today. But since I am a very experienced and skilled and dedicated complainer, maybe tomorrow....

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Love

kj

A Heart on the Cutting Board

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I'm in search of hearts these days.

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And as usual, I'm thinking.

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When a heart "breaks", I have this image

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of shards imploding and landing

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all over the place.

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And someone moving to and fro

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trying to pick up the broken pieces.

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And then hoping they fit back together again.

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But what if hearts don't break like that?

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What if they stretch when they break?

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What if in time they heal

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with new and extra protective skin?

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What if there is more room for love

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than there was before?

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What if, when grief has its way

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and time finds its rhythm,

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What if you end up loving

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more than ever?

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Is this what's happening to me?

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I like the sound of that.

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Very much I like the sound of that.

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of course,

to be continued....

'Someone's Dog'

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You know how there are some wake-up moments in life when you can't pretend or hope anymore? Some months ago I had one of those moments lying on the floor with my dog Stella.
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Stella came to our home with a broken back. She had been rescued from the streets after a few months of what I imagine for her was utter confusion. It took almost two years before we could touch her without her tightening up. She is the first dog I have ever had who has a real dog bed, bought to make her orthopedic problems more comfortable. It is her safe haven and she loves it.
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Maybe because of her orthopedic problems or because she had never been a house dog , you have to lie down on the floor with Stella to cuddle and get physically close. Sometimes I just lie there with her, rubbing her neck and ears, and I tell her that she is forever safe and loved here. I tell her there will always be cookies.
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I remember someone else lying down with Stella. She had been afraid of dogs and she and Stella broke bread together in that lovely dog-human sort of way. I remember how gentle Stella was with her each time, how sweet and soft and patient.
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One day Stella stopped being Stella and instead was called 'someone's dog'. When I saw her referenced in that way, first I froze in disbelief and then I reluctantly understood.
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"She called you 'someone's dog." I am lying beside Stella on the floor on her bed and I whisper, "Stella, you are a wonderful dog. I won't let words like that find me anymore."
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Today Stella underwent tests for a small lump in her leg and a sudden limp that hasn't gone away. It is a mast cell tumor which must be removed. She is an old girl and we are not yet certain that the cancer has not spread, but we are told she has a reasonable chance for an excellent recovery.
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Before the test results were back, I spent today worrying about the worse possibility. I am hopeful tonight and we will take it one step at a time.
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I lay with Stella again tonight, we two stretched out on her bed, and I remembered that other moment. "'Someone's dog', my ass", I said. She will never be 'someone's dog'. She is Stella, MY dog. She is loyal to the ends of the earth and I maybe that's why I love dogs so much. In my world loyalty has the weight of gold. Within reason. Dogs know that. And so do I.
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Butt Is It Art?

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Given that I am a bit of a prude, how is it that I am conducting yet another sex survey? I must have been less shy last year. The survey this year feels like putting my ass on the line, which fortunately I am sometimes willing to do for educational or entertainment purposes. :)

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I have not decided whether to include most or all of last year's questions. Many of my beloved friends and visitors took part last year, and I am the lucky beneficiary of many new friends and visitors this year. So I want to shake things up a bit, and yet, it's hard to top last year's questions and answers.

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So..... this got me thinking, which is always dangerous!

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I am hereby SOLICITING questions from anyone who would like to know anything that is directly or remotely relevant to a good interesting honest sex survey! The time is now. The place is here.

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Please leave your question(s) here in my comments. You can do this anonymously if you prefer. (or if you are really shy you can email me). Please ask anything you would like to know. (I reserve the right to screen questions: I can't handle explicit explicit details and I don't think most of you can either).

The survey will likely be showing up sometime within the next week.

TADA: There will be one new addition to kj Babe's Second Annual Sex Survey: a special prize for the best answers. Last year Soulbrush would have won hands down! This year that special person will receive a handmade pin that can be worn with both casual and formal attire:

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This pin is part of a Butt Is It Art series down by a very funky and very fun Provincetown Cooperative artist named Lee Nemmers.

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Okay, I'm ready for questions now.

.Love kj

The Little Girl

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About two weeks ago I started looking for a story I wrote several years ago called "The Little Girl," but to my surprise I haven't been able to locate it anywhere.

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Until now.

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For unrelated reasons, tonight I decided I would go into my blog archives and look up the post I wrote exactly one year ago. I had no idea what it would be, but I've been traveling through a pretty significant transformation with a suitcase of sadness for the past couple of years and I wondered if by looking back a year I would be reassured that I still believe in deep love. (I do.)

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So when I located my post of one year ago I found the story of the little girl. This is a true story in honor of my Mother.

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I no longer give coincidence the weight I used to, so I have no doubt that this has appeared to me at just the right time. I thank you for the chance to share it.

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Love

kj

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The Little Girl

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The little girl left for school every day wearing some derivative of a red plaid dress with a black pattern leather belt that matched her shoes and her folded down white cotton ankle socks.
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Every day, usually just before she arrived at school, and sometimes during recess, she threw up. Every day she walked back home because she had soiled her dress or socks or coat, and on really bad days, everything.
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When the little girl opened the back door and and stepped into the kitchen, her mother was there waiting, ready to hug her and tell her how brave she was. She helped her little daughter change into a set of fresh clothes that were already laid out on the back of the kitchen chair, and within five minutes, she was on her way back to school, where she was the teacher’s favorite and popular and comical among her peers.

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The little girl is now a mother herself. She cannot imagine having the patience to clean vomit and prepare a second set of dress clothes every day. She loves her own daughter, but she cannot imagine this level of enduring patience. When she tells her friends about her childhood nervousness, she holds back tears when she says that her mother’s message—in word and deed—was that she was a courageous and strong little girl, never a shameful or difficult problem.
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The little girl who is now an adult knows that this message resonates with her still, and maybe that is why she is able to take risks and engage in life even when she throws up.

Animal Wednesday: Emily Rabbit's Year in Review

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Hello Everyone, it's me, Emily. I have been in Cleveland again visiting my favoriteUncle who is manufacturing jellybean pellets and I have been advising him on colors and favors, even though the pellets are actually grey we are coloring them and then adding sugar so no one will know that they are actually rabbit pellets and I am sure I won't get in trouble like I did at the church meeting because I am really just giving advice and Uncle Bunny usually knows what he is doing so I hope so.

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I thought I would show you some of my year in review today because I don't want anyone getting the idea that I am not a very versatile little rabbit with plenty of friends. I also thought I would give you some free advice because it is now springtime and I am in a good mood.

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Remember when I invested my money in the Stockpile market and they wouldn't give it back to me after they lost it? I still don't know why they put my money somewhere and then couldn't find it.

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My advice: Save a certain amount every week or every paycheck and let it grow somewhere even if it's in your sock drawer, because kj did this with her $ 20 bills and when she finally opened her piggy bank she was rich and she went on vacation.

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Or you could use some of your money and be nice by sharing it with someone who needs it because remember when we did this a while back and we raised money for acting lessons for a 13 year old girl and some money for Dreams International too and everyone was happy because it felt so good plus it was helpful? I myself have to save my money for my jellies and chocolate pretzels but I am happy to collect money for someone else and I might do it again so maybe you should save some in case I ask again soon.

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My advice: don't be too cheap when it comes to other people because kj says you never know...

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I don't like to brag that I am kind of famous because my Uncle Bunny was almost best friends with Janis Joplin but in case you didn't already know here is proof. Unfortunately Uncle Bunny got his heart broken anyway (not by Janis) which was very sad for a long time until he decided there was nothing he could do about it and then he took a yoga and meditation course which he said helped him and it probably did because he is now dating a model named Lucille and she seems to like him because he has a sneaky smile when ever he sees her.

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My advice: try to have at least one friend who might be famous but definitely don't have friends who don't care about your feelings or your heart and try to pick people who make you at least secretly if not sneakily smile at least some of the time.

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Boohoohoobooheehooboohoo! Remember when I got arrested? I am still very upset about it. It's a good thing it hasn't stopped me from getting in trouble in general because even though I would not want to end up in jail again I can't imagine not enjoying myself even if it means I might get caught or some mean person might not be nice to me for their own strict reasons.

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My advice: Always make sure you play enough, even if someone else doesn't like it.
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I don't want anyone to get the idea that I am not physically active but it's not my fault that I got kicked off the soccer team because the way they were playing was so boring and who would want to just kick a ball if you could have fun socking the people who get in your way and try to take the ball away from you and they are not even polite about it?

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My advice: Don't let anyone sock you around unless you don't mind and even then make sure you can sock them back; otherwise it's not fair.
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See that purple mark next to Mr. Budda? I have no idea where it came from or why, other than it matches my purple bikini but I'm not sure what that even means. Anyway, after Uncle Bunny started meditating I told kj to meditate too because her heart is still flying and fluttering around sometimes and even though she needs to move on about the friend who wasn't a friend she is still learning how and don't you agree that meditation is a good way to do that?

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My advice: OHM...oHM.....ohM. Breathe in, now out. OHM....
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Do you have your own dragon? So you know any dragons? Because they can be very helpful if you want to fly or you need to scare someone or even if you just want interesting company sometimes.

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My advice: It's good to have a variety of friends and even better if they are different than you because even though I myself cannot blow smoke from my nose or use my tail to knock grass out of the way I can enjoy hopping on my friend's back like this and playing and by the way she rarely gets mad so I don't see the smoke very much, which is good because once she melted all the candles on kj's porch and guess who got blamed for it?

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Speaking of friends, this as you might know is Muck, Truck and F___ Duck. kj still says I can't say "Fuck" but jeez if it's your name what are you supposed to do? Anyway, we play at the beach and I bob on their backs and they are very good and fun friends even though sometimes they talk too much.

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My advice: See above: friends who are different from you keep you bobbing and hopping and flying.
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Here I am pretending I am on a tropical island and of course I am wearing my purple pokadot bikini, which by the way I am replacing this year but I'm not sure with what. I am open to suggestions, but the point is it's good to wear things that you look good in and not things that make you look mean or frumpy.

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My advice: Clothes make the rabbit....
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Here I am gallivanting in the world with kj while she is working. Sometimes I sneak into her car when she doesn't invite me and while she is seeing clients I wander around people's backyards and check out who lives there. I like doing this because a lot of people where kj works are all different colors: black and brown and yellow and white and even orange.

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My advice: do whatever you can to keep your life colorful.

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Okay, now I am exhausted. This was a lot of writing, don't you think?

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I hope you like my advice just in case I start charging for it, but so far I am doing fine with my plan to plant my garden and of course borrow whatever else I need from other people's garden..

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I hope you are having fun. If you aren't having fun just don't forget to whine, kick high, and cry from your stomach. If you need another lesson, you can tell me.

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Sincerely,

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Emily Rabbit