Not going to be so easy.
I had hoped this Christmas there would be time, family, friends, cookies, restaurants, warm bread, a tree already. I had hoped a sadness that was planted a few years back would be gone, but finally I know it is part of me and I am wise to honor it.
It's not to be. There have been troubles here; not catastrophic but unsettling. Many are now resolving. But tonight I am replacing my imagination with small possibilities and likelihoods. Over the next two weeks I will take my 96 year old very active godmother for a Mexican lunch. I will visit Joe and bring him chocolates. I will delight in wrapping certain presents and god help me, I hope I'll cook at least one good meal. And a tree. It will be smaller and maybe the damn lights will stay on this year.
I thought my little gifts throughout December would be easy. Not so much. This is what I have to give tonight:
Chase is WAY better. It's only been a week or so that he's had no seizures, no knockouts from his medicine, but it is so nice to see him, even for a week, settle into our home and enjoy his life as a dog. I think you can tell by these pictures that he is feeling better. He is sweet, fascinating, and odd. I think we are going to be great friends.
And a little gift of advice from me:
I'm not quite in the mood
To be wise witty or lewd
It's enough I'm awake
For holiday's sake!
I'm reminded again
Whether family or friend
Don't pursue the last word:
To be right is absurd.
Better to start
An accord of the heart
and let things unfold
while the story is told.
In other words, relax.
love
kj
Yes, I definitely can see that Chase is feeling better. That is very good news, Karen!!! I am very glad to read this.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you will show us a picture of your Mexican lunch???
Have fun you two.
I will take a picture of our Mexican lunch just for you, wieneke xoxo
DeleteOkzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
ReplyDeleteGood mark zzzz good zzzzzzzzz uh zzzzz
Delete♥
great news about Chase. He does look better. Relax, a good idea for sure. Would i rather be "right" or rather be in peace. that's what i ask my self. cheers to you.
ReplyDeleteThe answer is so obvious , isn't it suki, and yet walking away from conflict is sometimes elusive
DeleteCheers to you too
Love
kj
christmas can be hard...so full of expectations...on what it should be...its a good thing to acknowledge the little gifts....yay on the pups doing better...that has to be a relief...
ReplyDeleteThis time of year is very tough indeed on very many, Brian . I must have my own fantasies even though until recently I thought I was loosey goosey :-)
DeleteWishing you calm
Love
kj
sweet face that doggie has, I am praying he stays well and happy! and you too - well, happy, sated, delighted, comforted, and whole. how's that?
ReplyDeleteThat is everything I could hope for, Mim. And any part for me, then for you too
Delete♥
kj
It sounded, initially, like the kind of Christmas that absolutely nobody wants or needs. Sigh. Sorry it is happening that way for you. I do hope you and your mom have a great lunch in Mexico.
ReplyDeleteAnd that Chase; looking good! I hope he stays healthy.
And "relax" is a great word for the season.
Blessings and Bear hugs.
Hahaha a great lunch with my mom in Mexico?! How about Mexican food with my godmother?! :-)
DeleteI wish you and your family every blessing, rob. I hope this year of transition welcomes a year of relaxed purpose :-)
Love
kj
Whoopee, Chase is better! I had so little hope, and I am now so glad to find that my pessimism might have been misplaced.
ReplyDeleteThat's fantastic news about Chase, I had a good feeling about him from the beginning - greys are such sweethearts.
ReplyDeleteI am trying to focus on the good this Christmas season, rather than on the difficult.
Hello snow! Yes, it's looking better. I so hope.
ReplyDeleteI am remiss in catching up with you. I'll get there xo
Love
kj
Chase is doing ok !! YEAH. Well that's a gift for sure.
ReplyDelete(he looks soooo sweet )
I hope in between the sad feelings you will experience the Christmas feeling....indeed in little gifts of life.
♥M
Hi Marianne :-) one more batch of Oven baked sugar cookies should do it!!!
DeleteLove
kj
Hi Chase! You are a sweetie pie. And KJ, I am trying to relax -lol! Right now I am in Bethlehem, PA, the Christmas City with my DH. I'll take some pics to share. Sending hugs - xox
ReplyDeleteOh, away from home, Pam! No vacuum cleaners, no bills. That gives you a great start! Enjoy, my friend. Yes yes take pictures
DeleteDouble hugs
kj
Kj, So glad Chase has had a good week.
ReplyDeleteThis is a hard Christmas for me, but finding little daily joys has made it better, I hope the same for you. Hugs, xoxo
Annie, understandably hard.i wish many of us could raise our cups together in person. I hope many many little joys come a'knocking
ReplyDeleteLove
kj
Because we talk on the phone, I know what's on your plate. You'll get through it all, but exhaustion at this time doesn't help pull you through. Seems like a lot of little niggling things all at once. Some big ones too, though, like your family member who's so ill.
ReplyDeleteI love Chase! yay for the new meds and his wonderful loving family♥
Looking forward to seeing you and JB on the 23rd. We'll make Merry, very merry!
xoxo
Love you,
Lo♥
Lo, yes yes ♥
DeleteGetting the last word can be where the most pain is accomplished for everyone. Much nicer to let things unfold and allow the story to be told. I like this one :). I realized once that being right can be so wrong. It included allowing another to have the last word... so we would share many more and not make an end, after all.
ReplyDeleteIf expectations are the death of joy, then December is one big long killjoy. I find that the more relaxed I get, and the less expectations I have about family, friends, and holidays... the happier I am.
ReplyDeleteWishing you some relaxation too KJ
I love odd dogs
ReplyDeleteThey remind me of me.
I love odd headers
They remind me of me.
I love (was gonna say odd) KJ,
She reminds me of me.
Love ya and enjoy what you have; your mom, godmother and kids and grands and of course this wonderful gift-Chase.
xxxx
what a lovely pointy sweet face :) i could see Chase as an illustration or painting easily prolly starring in your next book :))
ReplyDeletelovely post and i think your advice is sage! Have a beautiful holiday to you and yours Karen <333 ps looo0000ooooove your header :))))
Oh, I am so happy for Chase, and as well you. He indeed looks like a very sweet dog, and how wonderful that he is enjoying life now.
ReplyDeleteYour poem is excellent advice, kj!
Brenda