I'll Be Damned!

Much better than expected. 

Christmas has so much weight to it: the weight of expectations, real or imagined memories, family, traditions, losses, hope. I've always liked the season, but I know better than to give my hopes free reign. This year was a definite gamble.

This year I won. 

I somehow had enough time:

JB and I have spent Christmas Eve for 25 years with the same two friends. This year they brought the appetizers (oh my my: all kinds of fresh cheeses and quince jam and smoked mussels and of course crackers) and dessert. JB made feta shrimp and rice, guacamole, chili-cheese cornbread.

Our friends slept over. On Christmas morning two other friends joined us for brunch: date and nut bread, pumpkin bread, bagels, cappuccinos.  They brought a pineapple filled with berries. They also brought gifts: homemade cinnamon bread, chocolate chip gingerbread, and one winter squash from their summer garden.

I have good friends. That is something I no longer and never take for granted.

And I have a partner who is dear and kind and sweet. She also gave me presents, including almost all of her stash money, with a note saying it is for the casino later in the week. Slot machines: wait for me--I'm coming!

At noon on Christmas day JB had dinner with my Mother at her rest home. All the food served there is family style and home cooked. Our Christmas menu included baked stuffed shrimp, green beans in mushroom sauce, mashed squash, cheese potatoes. We had no room for the turkey, mashed potatoes or stuffing. All of this served with condiments and eggnog and never a charge of any kind.

My Mother's rest home is an incredible place. There are 30 residents in all and without fail dignity and patience and companionship for every one there.

Later that afternoon, my daughter Jess, Mike, and their three boys and dog Sadie arrived, more presents. They stay the night so we are not rushed. Sometimes it is chaos. But not this year. We played, talked, colored, watched  cartoons, ate meals, opened stockings and gifts from Santa, and watched our dog Chase, who has zero experience with children, run with the boys in the back yard; all of it and all of us so gleeful.

Dr Ryan cured all my complaints.

JB and I made our homemade raviolis and four dozen meatballs I made for my son-in-law. Jess and I made garlic bread. After the kids were in bed, we grownups opened our traditional stockings and gifts and it was all very wonderful.

We all played and relaxed.

this is drew and the alligator he has coveted

There is a lesson to be had in all of this. 

My take on that lesson is this: YOU NEVER KNOW. I have had grand plans some years that fell apart in minutes and then, sometimes, a string of days create a lovely peaceful and safe sanctuary. 

I tell my teenage clients that consequences have babies. They almost always understand what I mean by that: you don't just flunk a class but you get punished and maybe the teachers write you off and maybe you won't get promoted to the next grade. In my case I have spent quite a bit of time lamenting the unexplainable. 

This Christmas, not so much.

Good for me.

Here's to I'll Be Damned moments. The thing is, I think they sneak in when expectations don't get in their way.

love

kj