Animal Wednesday: Emily Rabbit in InAruba

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Hello everyone, it's me, Emily. I have been visiting InAruba for a week, having fun in the sun and making some money on the side, which I will tell you about but first I'm sure you will be very disappointed to know that I was NOT invited on the trip and had to sneak my way by hiding in kj's suitcase.

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It was the middle of the night when kj and JB left for the airport so I was not discovered until kj took off her shoes and was going through that big machine and by then when she saw me she gave me a terrible look but she didn't say anything until we got on the plane, and then she told me I would be punished for a year but I took my chances that she would forget and sooner or later relax, which fortunately for me she did.

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For the first couple of days I relaxed by the pool which was very nice and I managed to nibble on extra carrots and celery from the bloody marys and once I ate Mr. Ryan's bagel when he wasn't looking. But then I got the idea that I would socialize so I started wandering around and maybe I could locate some jellybeans or find a way to make some money.
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I got the idea that I would interview some interesting inhabitants on the island and then maybe I could make a movie and sell it to a Hollywood agent who would market it something like "Visiting Very Smart and Interesting Rabbit Makes Local Movie".
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First I asked the owner of a little restaurant why he thought anyone would care about rude fish. He looked at me like I was crazy until I showed him this sign and I told him that I thought he would make more money if he advertised polite fish instead of fresh fish. I thought he might pay me for the advice but instead he just laughed, although he did give me one celery stick and three pretzels.
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Next I interviewed a bird who had very unique eye makeup and I asked if she was interested in giving beauty lessons but I was surprised to find out she was a he bird and he was already doing that for the gay-straight feather alliance in InAruba. I was invited to a meeting but Donatella (her name) told me I would be the only rabbit and why did I want to go if everyone would be chirping and clucking and cooing and I wouldn't even understand most of what they were saying?

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I also met two iguanas and one was nice and one wasn't.

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The first one was named Isabella Iguana and really needed a manicure but I didn't say anything because at first I didn't know she was nice and those nails looked very scary to me. It turned out

she came in first three years in a row at the annual lettuce eating contest sponsored by one of the hotels and Isabella said it was because her nails were so long she could scoop up the lettuce faster than anyone else. She also had a very long tongue but I don't think there is any award for that in InAruba but you never know; maybe someday she could find a way to show off that tongue somehow, right?

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The other iguana was named Rusty and he was a big grouch. He told me he wouldn't even bother to talk to me unless I climbed up a tree with him and normally I wouldn't mind climbing up a tree because after all I've done that many times with my friend Gregory Squirrel but I was afraid this Rusty guy might push me down for no good reason and then where would I be, so I said no and he said 'then get lost'. Hmmmpf. Very rude, don't you think?

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It serves him right that his nails are not as long as Isabella's and never will be. I don't know or care about his tongue.

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Finally I decided to teach Mr. Ryan how to pick up an iguana by the tail but it didn't work at all because Mr. Ryan started crying as soon as the iguana starting squirming and threatened him if he didn't let go immediately. It was not my fault that Mr. Ryan cried or that the iguana said several swears including the F one before he huffed away.

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Oh, one more thing. You probably know that kj brought her colored pencils with her to InAruba, so one morning I borrowed them while she was busy bouncing on her rubber tube in that lazy river.

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And guess what?! Some woman with a big straw hat bought my drawing for $ 5!!!!!!!!!! She told me she had been thinking about how to roll for a long time, since her second husband walked out on her and when she said that I offered to teach her how to roll down a hill and cry from her stomach at the same time, which we all know is a very helpful thing to do, and guess what else?????? She paid me another $ 5 for lessons and actually I earned the money because I had to give her a push two times and one time she almost rolled on top of me.

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Anyway, these were some of my highlights inAruba. I had a nice time and kj relaxed enough that she shared her cookies with me on the plane ride home.

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Have a nice week. Maybe you should practice your own rolling?

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Sincerely yours,

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Emily Rabbit