In my household, it's no secret that the last four months have been a quick trip to hell and back. I'm not sure we're on the upswing, but I think so. There are a few signs and reminders that tell me things are settling down and looking up:
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1. Mom: She's moved to an A-plus rest home: her own spacious room with her own furniture; three dining room family style meals a day; morning and afternoon crafts and activities, including Bingo: a nurse and aides available 24 hours a day; cozy communal kitchens and livingrooms; weekly laundry and housekeeping; and in all, 30 residents who patch together as a sort of family unit. I cannot believe our good fortune that my Mom got in this place. And, man, does she deserve it....
2. I bought three Amaryllis' this Christmas--gave one to my Godmother, sent one to Ces, and kept one for myself. Except the one I kept for myself never got out of its box. I forgot about it, lamented I didn't have time for it, and thoroughly ignored it until two weeks ago, when I opened the box and found a pathetic twisted sun starved bud barely on life support. I watered it and put it on a little table with morning light.
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Can you believe this? I rarely swear in this blog but goddamnit, if this amaryllis can survive and blossom, so can I (And therefore, so can you).
3. And then there's Stella. No more trace of abuse or neglect. No more whimpering or not
daring to move. Instead, it's all about walks, chicken and cookies these days.
4. I'm seeing trees everywhere these days, often thinking of Ces and snapping shots I want to share with her. This one doesn't come close to the splendor of this old girl, but perhaps you get the idea?
Resilence. Sometimes I either bend or I break. So I'm bending. And I'm not alone....
Sure sounds like things are on the upward swing, I'm sure the feeling will catch up with you soon. Hang in there kj, soon this will all be a memory, just like the cold!
ReplyDeleteYes indeed upwards and onwards KJ! *GASP* KJ swore! I would have just thought you were itchy if didn't point it out ... goddamnits everywhere in this weather!
ReplyDeleteGood, we're going in the right direction. Keep on going!
ReplyDeleteYou should swear more often. It's very sexy to hear you swear. :-) Just kidding. That sycamore tree - beautiful trees make every encounter a spitiual one. Trees are silent witnesses to generations. They are sacred living things.
ReplyDeleteYour post speaks of the core strength living things have - sometimes we don't recognize in ourselves, but when we do, we can grow and thrive even in poor conditions. I am so glad you have placed your mother in a situation that makes you and her feel secure and satisfied. I am also so glad to read that things keep getting better!
ReplyDeleteHooray for Mom! It sounds like a lovely place. And that amaryllis was a gift to you ... a reminder of what we can do even if there is hardly any sunlight.
ReplyDeleteThe flower blossomed when you could enjoy it most.
ReplyDeleteincredible flower! beautiful tree and sweet love to your mother!
ReplyDeleteIf you are nocticing hte positives, it has to be a good sign.
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