Monday, November 08, 2010

Poem # 8:The Internet Interlopers

When you first started blogging, did you think or were you warned that you were opening yourself and your family to up to potential stalkers and ill meaning folks? Even now I'm told sometimes to be careful of people I "don't really know." I no longer try to explain so much that it's not like that; that I have developed real and positive relationships through blogging; that it's unlikely some unbalanced person even gives a fig about me and my blog.
Anyway, I wrote this litle silly poem a few years back, in response to all those concerns. HAHAHA!

The Blogger
They'll track you down in your own backyard--
pirates who have stalked you from another continent,
following your weekend restaurants and family reunions.
They'll break in through the basement on Sunday night
and tie you to the bedpost while they open drawers
and carry your television into the rented van.
They'll use your credit cards,
cash your bank accounts,
and make a few smooth moves so your hairstyle is theirs.
All because you have posted your entire life on the internet.
Because your e-mails and blogs have found their way
to Mad Max in Memphis and a 68 year old trucker in Kalamazoo.
They'll open your refrigerator
and pull out the special mozzarella
from the second shelf rear
And marvel at the Indian placemats with the Mexican colors.
Then pull the red rickety chair up to the little round table
Commenting, by the way, that your dining room looks exactly like you described it.
That will be bad enough.
But when they ask you to sit down and break bread--one friend to another--
or carry the suitcase to the familiar guestroom,
When that happens,
I will say the same words with great syllabic pronunciation and emphasis.
I will lecture and cajole and implore and direct
While your furniture is carried out the back door.
And you--you will politely and impatiently wait
Until the commotion dies down so you can get on-line
and share this fascinating adrenalin-shaking event.
"Dear friends", you will say to your other blogging buddies:
"Guess who I met today?"


  1. OH
    I love this, very cleverly written kj!
    And my very cautious side has, at times,, actually had those fears!
    It being a weird world sometimes, ( with weird people) maybe it's warranted, who knows!

  2. Heh, I love this. (thank you for leaving such a lovely comment, by the way, on my blog. So very kind of you. Lori is one of my favorites too).

    I think we bloggers always run the risk of feeling invaded upon by the people we meet, but the friendships we make usually make the risks worthwhile. At least I hope so!

  3. clever poem. of course, we are all anonymous unless we choose to reveal our true identities via emails.

  4. This is so fantastic! Hee Hee
    (I love snip snip too!)

    oh how I am enjoying all of your wonderful words...


  5. Very well written/captured!
    Now then, I'd best go and start double-bolting my blog and making sure I haven't left a key in view under the mouse....

  6. Oh ho!!!

    Your "silly" poems make me romantically inclined towards you :-D

    Blogging without obligation. That's our slogan

  7. Loved this. Mainly because it is one problem I will never have. Hell even the EMS won't come here without uniformed police escort.

  8. very cute.

    of course, there was Teri C who got spammed and her spammer kept emailing me saying "it's really me, Teri, please send me money I'm stuck in a foreign country". and of course, I was WAY to clever to fall for it!!

  9. This is a little spooky. I think I could see this as a Stephen King short story. :) xox!

  10. You are such a riot!!

    I'm closing the curtains...

  11. I LOVE IT!!!!!

    Ive been an interneter for oh 20 yrs now. Ive had a few weird ppl in my life because of it, but have met and know some amazing ppl also who have touched my life beyond any words could describe. I have been mia with work, trying to get myself back as of late. And I always come come by and read, may not also leave a comment but I am here sweetie. I love ya xoxoxo

  12. This is my third time back reading this. I love love love it!

    I can clearly see non-bloggers have these fears and concerns. But being a blogger myself now and having met some of the most fantastic friends in person from blogging I wouldn't change a thing.

    I think we're cautious before we even give out our email addresses or phone numbers.
    But I know there will be a disappointment eventually. An "oh shit why did I get in touch" moment or two.
    But still, I wouldn't trade my new friends for the world. And you, dear friend, were the first one I met in person two years ago.
    Loved you right away, love you now!


  13. I guess this is something we all think about at one time or another. I admit i did feel panic at the start, feeling too exposed. But then we have our names out there (and sometimes photos too) for various reasons, so I wonder if there is any difference.

    Then i read the line about anyone giving a fig and laughed. I think that's the truth (i mean about any one other than friends!).

    Hey! i see lovely Tracy found you. Yay! more friends!

  14. Applause.....well I'm very glad we met through Marianne :))
    Love your tast of wine Grand Ardeche is one of my favourites to.
    Hope everything goes well .
    Greetings from Holland,
    Marja and a big hug for Princess Stella.

  15. Time for me to join the most reluctant person to begin a blog....(Renee, yes, I KNOW you were insistent!), I was afraid of being so exposed "out there"....but, now that I KNOW how many wonderful, caring and loving people are has enriched my life so much! I have been fortunate (so far) and have only encountered one nasty, crazed commenter...(and I was thrilled to find I could delete the comment - forever)...

    Blogging is a just must choose your friends - as you do in real life!

    Pam... your comment was too funny...perhaps Stephen King is ALREADY working on a book about this.... entitled: "BLOGGER!".

    Lo, I am right there in agreement with you!


    ♥ Robin ♥

  16. Ok hasn't quite happened like that but there have been a few 'suspect' encounters. Nothing to fear therefore nothing to hide. My heart is an open book, come inside.

  17. Love it! Yes, you never know what will happen when you let those crazy blogger strangers into your life!