Friday, March 05, 2010

More Novel in a Paragraph

kj: It doesn't feel right to write on my blog as if nothing is wrong.
Renee: Nothing is wrong, kj. Don't worry about me. xoxox
kj: But Renee, your children, your family, all of us here in the blogs who can't bear to let you go.
Renee: You don't have to let me go.
kj: I am still going to bitch to you whenever I need to.
Renee: Har har har. That's fine kj. I have big shoulders. xoxox

A word of explanation: I am writing a novel where short snippets will hopefully tell a story all by themselves but will also combine with other short snippets to reveal a deeper story. Here in my blog, perhaps once a week, I will share a few snippets, but in no sequence or logical order. That part comes much later.
Yan* and Casey got married above the Post Office Café in Provincetown, standing on a make shift stage used nightly for the sold out drag queen performances of Jimmy James, who impersonated Marilyn Monroe like nobody’s business. They were standing on that stage because of a historic Massachusetts ruling that legalized gay marriage and because their blood tests were about to expire. Responding to Casey’s phone call, the manager and sometimes minister of the Post Office Café, a tall goofy looking man named Dixie said he could perform the ceremony but only right away. Casey hung up from him, told Yan to finish her breakfast and change out of her pajamas, and off they went, two women together for twenty years, unaware that the ceremony itself would be surprisingly affirming and nothing short of hotdamn historic.
Dixie read them their vows, threw in a poem he had written for good measure, giggled in a couple of spots, and they walked off the make shift stage utterly shocked by the significance of the occasion, these two, the 1006th couple to tie a legal knot in Provincetown that year.
Somewhere somehow in Catherine’s history she had been hurt or blinded to the point that she could not navigate her way to compassion. She came from a country where the government was corrupt, where justice took place randomly and often only for those who could afford to pursue it. For Catherine, it was all about self sufficiency. If you couldn’t care for and tend to yourself and your family, you got what you deserved. That did not explain her utter failure to understand when her words and actions lacked empathy or hurt someone, but ironically it made it easier for her to drop the conscience part and comfortably settle into her own version of undeserving victim.
* FYI: I have been ambivalent about what to name Casey's partner. I've considered Maggie, and Jelly, and at least for now, I am settling on Yan. So if you search for past snippets under "Novel in a Paragraph" and you find references to Maggie, she and Yan are one and the same. :)
Rest softly Renee, the Angel Tribe is waiting for you.


  1. Oh, Kj, I feel the same way. Carrying on without Renee, writing carefree posts, but Renee would want that, we have to live and be happy. What more can the living do than live the best life. I hate talking about Renee like she is already gone, though I know she will be gone soon. I miss her so much.
    Lovely writing as usual :-).
    xoxo ♥

  2. Praying for peace without pain for Renee.

    I do love the snippets...they are wonderful and I enjoy them so much!

  3. annie, i know...♥

    cat, i am glad we have become friends and community ♥

  4. Most of all Renee would want you to keep living even though she is dying. Live for you and live because of her love, kj. Write, write with all the love in your heart.
    You bring beauty to this world and Renee loved that about you.

  5. Yan and Jelly are foods. Name her Spanky.

    Praying, never ceasing for pain relief for Renee and clarity of mind to be present with her family. Praying for angel to fill the darkness with light.

    It's a spring-like day here. Seems like the right day to plant the wildflower seeds Renee sent.

    For all who love Renee,
    Together Strong.
    **blows kisses** Deb

  6. Your writing is quite wonderful whether it is screams from your heart in pain from the idea of losing your dear friend...

    or humor and terrific descriptions of people and places and events in fiction and/or reality

    I found reading both to my liking

  7. it felt like renee was right there in the room with you, i am going through the 'how can this be possible' stage....keep on writing she would want

  8. Ah, KJ.....I, too felt like Renee was right there, speaking with you.. and - she was. The spirit/soul IS many places all at once. She is with you - with us - and she will always be. I hate to know she is in pain and it angers me that the Doctors cannot completely stop it.. as dire as it all sounds, I am still praying for a miracle....that's just me.

    Your latest installment is wonderful... full of emotion, full of pain, full of love.

    I want you, JB and family to ENJOY your time in Aruba. You need this warm, sun-filled break - and - Renee would be the first to tell you so.

    Always rememeber that God holds Renee close to him - and you too!

    ♥ Love from your SF friend, ♥


  9. Renee wants you to keep on writing with the same humor and stupendous descriptions. I love your stories!
    And so does she.

    Have a great weekend

    E xx

  10. You are a beautiful writer kj, I love reading your snippets. Eventhough I don't know Renee, she and her family are in my prayers too.

    Peace - Susan

  11. marie, that is renee's legacy: to do what makes us happy and to do it with love and intention. i wish this for you too. if i ever again wonder how much love a heart can hold, i will think of renee and i will remember. ♥

    muffy, ah, i mean deb, see--now you've got me back to early childhood with your spanky comment! :) i like how clearly and how often you are talking about tolerance and acceptance as renee's gift. and i imagine your seeds will be a wonder to behold. my father visits me in summer flowers without fail. maybe you will get a visit too. ♥

    lynn, i am quite touched by your comment about my writing. it is wind for my sails and i thank you very much. now i'm off to your blog. ♥

  12. joss, i am praying ferociously that renee's pain stops. that there is no need for her stomach to act up any longer. i know how you feel about her, joss: me too. ♥

    everybody gets a ♥ today. did you know i learned how to do ♥'s from deborah?

    ms e, thank you very much. i am still trying to figure out whether i write better before i see all your lucious food, or after....♥

    susan, thank you. it's fun to be blogmates! i am taking colored pencils with me to aruba. and my micron pens. love to you and cosmo ♥

  13. this is good kj, i feel it ;)

  14. I feel so proud of you and your writing Kj! So many of us talk about writing but don't do do..and therefore inspire... And writing that's do...and we're encouraged. Thank you
    ps I think of Renee and it's like a rock sitting on my I wish for the pain and discomfort to be gone for her...yet within me is a little piece of hope for some miracle because I don't want her to go...

  15. I thought much about Renee today so it was lovely to see her "har har"'s on your blog, with your wonderful writing. I just wish she had no pain...why in heavens name...OK - won't go there now.
    Have a lovely trip...miss you already

  16. Renee will be soooo mad with you if you don't carry on KJ. She believes in you. So do I. xx

  17. your writing snippets are awesome,kj, I look forward to every one posted...and I'm glad you're continuing on. I loved your conversation with was just like she was there with you!

    And Renee is don't have to let her go.

    Enjoy your time with your family in so deserve it!

    xoxo and many Blessings!

  18. val, tsup: here's a wet kiss hee hee

    hello chrisy, thank you for stopping by. i've been to your place and love your fashion ideas! i know how you feel about losing renee. we have a collective sadness and love around the world. xoxo

    mim, tsup! miss me because when i get back and it's springtime guess who wants to see you? ♥

    jos, thank you. renee always supported my bruised heart. she has been there for me in so many ways. and it seems she has given each of us exactly what we most needed. xoxo

    marion, been thinking about you. i hope everyone is feeling well and your hospice training feels just right. when i get back i plan to call you. ♥

  19. KJ,

    I love to get glimpses of your writing. What a treat! Renee is close to our hearts.

    I love the name Maggie.

    So in regards to your comment on my post...when I first wrote my post instead of Magician, I had Empress.
    Are you reading my mind or did you see an erasure on my page? LOL!

    much love

  20. Aw, I could hear Renee speaking to you. To think I missed her phonecall by a few hours. I'm so glad I heard her voice on your phone.

    Yan is a food??? Jelly, yes. A bad food but a food.
    Maybe she read it as 'yam.'

    I love your novels in paragraphs!
    I hope you write one about Dixie that's more in depth. I know you miss him.

    Aruba here you come! In just a few hours you'll be on that plane and in the winding pool. Wooo-hoooo!

    Yes, I'll miss you. I guess ;)


  21. I have no doubt that Renee would be disappointed if any of us subdued ourselves on her account. Renee is about nothing if not life.

  22. i love it when you write

    especially about Renee


  23. Renee will never be alone. It's one of The Promises. And we will never be without her.
    I hope we all can plant something this spring to call our Renee Flowers,,,something that comes back every year.I think she'd like that. Something beautiful, wild and carefree.
    I just got back in town,,,I will read the snippet later, I always enjoy them.
    Have fun in Aruba, kj.