The Writer

In the midst of months of craziness and crises, two weeks ago I spent the weekend with eight poets, two group leaders, and two Senior Editors from two small and well known publishers. From what I could tell, everyone was published--many times over--but me.

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This was the Colrain Poetry Manuscript Conference, a pre-screened by invitation only weekend for poets who have a completed manuscript (40 or 50 poems) eager for publication. The conference evaluates each manuscript in detail--including one full day watching and listening to seasoned editors open your envelope as if they were sitting at their desk, review your cover letter, and think and talk aloud as they turn each page and review everything from the Table of Contents to the first few poems. This is advice and feedback one would never ever be privy to in most circumstances.

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Well. Let me begin by saying I was the least prepared and possibly the least polished among this otherwise impressive group. It's possible I was the least talented as well. I did not expect that and truth-be-told, I am not used to being at the bottom rung of talent or prestige.

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After the first round--a review of "5 poems I couldn't live without, 5 poems I could live without, and 5 poems in the middle of my manuscript", I almost left. "This manuscript can't really be reviewed because almost every poem needs revision", the well published and impressive group leader said to me in front of my 4 person work group.

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Even my very favorite poems! "Poorly used and mixed metaphors, lack of clarity about what the poem(s) is about, predictable and uninteresting rhyme patterns, inaccuracy of images.". The Senior Editor of Ausable Press--a woman clearly worth immeasurable dollars for her time and take, ended by saying, "This manuscript is not yet ready to fly".
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To be fair, she said nice things about my different styles and experimentation, my emotional resonance, some use of sparkling language, a few great images. And by the time the weekend was over, not one of us nine had passed the "manuscript is ready" threshold. While I was at times embarrassed, there were several poets--finalists in major poetry contests and first runner ups in publication reviews--who were far more pained than I by the advice they received.

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Does this sound excruciating? Guess what: it was. And it was the most helpful weekend I may ever spend in my pursuit of excellence and success as a writer. I think most of us felt that way. The mystery of the publishing world, the actual odds and difficulty of getting published, the reality that there are plenty of fabulous writers competing for very few opportunities--all of this has grounded and inspired me.

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Plus: I learned a ton. Here are some of the high points in abbreviated form. They may just apply to any endeavor, not just writing:

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If you don't know the importance of revising and revising again (I didn't...), you don't know something very basic.

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Never ever ever ever submit a weak unfinished piece. It's never about quanity. Every single word and piece of writing has to be your best, or you've wasted the effort.

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Writing requires great faith, great doubt, and great determination.

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Here's how one senior editor looks evaluates the manuscripts she receives. It must be:

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1. "At least as smart as I am
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2. Something I can learn from, or

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3. A story or poem that will pull me into its world and rattle my heart

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4. Or that knocks me out with its bravado"

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Don't polish until you know what you're writing about.

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Good writing answers this: "In a world where X is true, what else is there?"

As a Counselor, I've often told my clients, "Soft friends protect you and hard friends teach you to protect yourself." The Colrain Poetry Manuscript Conference was a hard friend to be sure, but I survived. I have a feeling my writing will never be the same. And that fact alone is all good.