Notes from my Moleskine

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First off, this may be too l-o-o-n-g. I'm not sure yet. I am writing this alot for myself, so if at any time you lose interest please feel free to skedoodle. (Did I make this word up?)
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Do you have a journal or some notebook where you write things down, carry it along for those moments when a muse may visit you and if you don't record it the inspiration or information will be gone?

I use a Moleskine. I am on my fifth one and because the cover and binding is so solid, when I've filled one up I store it away in my top desk drawer and I think they will all still be there years later. Maybe Jessica, or even Ryan may some day go through my Moleskines and find me right there in those pages.

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I haven't made resolutions for the new year (except will I have book # 2 done and ready to be published?) but right now, right this minute, I am looking back in my Moleskine, starting in January 09, to see what stands out in this last year. I doubt I'll be surprised. There's no order in particular, but some selectivity and omissions.
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One more thing: if it has an * after it, the credit does not belong to me.

. January 09 & on...
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We agree to take time away from one another until Spring but she calls the next day. How many times has that happened--one of us unable to let even a day pass--maybe 500 times?
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Priya the Healer asks me, "What will you add this year? Focus on that, not what you will take away. What will you add?" I write a list, and the first thing on it is "I will literally run toward someone I am excited to see, with abandon, with my arms outreached."
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You might find me in those moments when all those pillows are not enough.
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Sign on a bumper: I Break for Saucy Wenches
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"The moment was short but it lasted forever." *
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She is somebody who walks away. I didn't know that.
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"Don't try so hard. It comes in a shiver sometimes."*
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"One song is worth a thousand history books." *
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There's nothing I wanted more than to be walking on the same path.
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We land at LA Airport and the cell phone message from my brother is that my nephew--his son, died this morning.
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Donna the Past Life Woman: "Let things go into chaos. Let things be out of control. What you resist or run away from grows bigger.
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Sometimes I feel like I'm speaking ill of you and I don't want that.

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I never needed as much as she thought I did but I did need more.
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"God likes it better when I hand the bone over." *
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"Don't shoot the second arrow." *
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I'm learning about clean pain versus dirty pain: Wow God, I get a choice?
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The next time someone tells you they've had a half dozen marriage proposals, you might want to consider that a red flag....
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Euterpe = muse of music and poetry
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You lose two people in grief: the other person and the person you are with the other person.
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Victoria came up with this title for a book and we laughed: "Before the Cat Died"
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Me to some clients: Do you know your little girl--the one inside you who went through all that? You're an adult now. Do you know you can mother her, you can help her know she's safe now?
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You can't remember when you painted that? And you're calling Stella 'some one's dog?' Why do you do that?
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From my 13 year old client in foster care, talking about her mother, "I don't want to be with her because she makes so many mistakes. She would be a very bad influence on me. I don't want to live with someone who keeps making mistakes because then I will make mistakes too."

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I love this child. Can I, should I adopt her if no one else does? I am too old, and the whole idea makes JB very understandably very uncomfortable. But she's only 4 and she's been through so much. I don't think I can knowingly let her be harmed again. Not horrible harm, anyway. And being sent to live with her grandfather in Puerto Rico could be horrible harm.
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Seen on a church sign: Who would Jesus bomb?
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"Stand tall in a stiff wind."* Yup, I like that.
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kj, try this for the first line of a new chapter? "When there wasn't a last goodnight, there was a first good morning."
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Sign on a Springfield Church: Waiting for Holy Winds.
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♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Okay, these snippets from my Moleskine run through June 2009. There may be a Part 2 to this. Maybe it will be more optimistic. :)

By the way, I do not like being so serious.

Love

kj