Special Occasions

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Mr. Ryan is having a birthday party tomorrow. He is three, Baby Drew is 9 months, and their Grandmother--me--remembers the day and night their parents were married, like it was yesterday. This is not the best picture of Jess or me that day, but I think the look on my face says everything about how much I love this girl of mine.

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It was a grand wedding, one I wrestled with how so much money could be spent for one fleeting day: until the day began, and then I knew there could be no price on the memories. It was magnificent.

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I've spent a good part of today trying trying to clean up my home office. It is a huge task. In organizing my writing papers, I came across the speech I gave at Jess and Mike's wedding reception. I wrote this before I thought of myself as a real writer:

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Thank you all for being her tonight to celebrate with us. What a treat to meet Jess' coworkers, to get to know Mike's family and high school and college buddies, to see the faces of Jess' fantastic friends--some we've just about grown up with ourselves!--to have our own family and friends here with us.

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Tonight we are a community in this grand ballroom, and it doesn't get much better than sharing a moment like this with the special people in our lives.

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Jess was about eight months old when she said her first word. We were in the back seat of a friend's car when from nowhere she looked up, pointed to the roof, and clearly said 'light'. There is not a more fitting word than 'light' when I think about who Jess is and who she will always be. This girl lights up the world.

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When Jess was eight, I got a call at work telling me that she had had an accident at school and had been taken to the emergency room. I probably drove 90 miles an hour to get to her. I rushed into the ER and there she was--calmly sitting on a gurney, her leg in a cast, proudly displaying a pair of crutches. She held those crutches tightly in front of her, looked lovingly at them, smiled at me, and said, "I've waited my whole life for this...."

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Today is another day that you wait your whole life for. In Mike, Jess has found a guy she clearly and totally loves, and her loves her back. Our celebration tonight is about the power and the wonder of love.

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Mike, we welcome you into our family and we are thrilled that Jess is part of your family. We promise to keep our opinions to ourselves (most of the time) and to call before we visit.

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We hope you'll forgive us if we have an occasional lapse and every so often offer unsolicitious advice. Like, tonight...right now....

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There are two things I want to tell you both as your start your life together:

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First, protect each other. Go to bat for one another. Draw a circle around your relationship that provides a resting place and shelters you both from harm's way. No doubt you will sometimes take your frustrations on on each other, but every day let your actions confirm and reaffirm that no matter what, you will be there for each other.

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Second, keep your feet firmly in the present moment. Avoid getting too caught up in trying to correct the past or plan for the future because when you do that, you can too easily miss the sound of crickets in the grass or the kind gesture of a good friend or total stranger.

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It's important to have and pursue goals, but you should know that the present moment is truly all there is. It can take a lifetime to learn this the hard way, so I hope you guys don't miss too many moments of your life together.

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Jess & Mike: it is written that when children find true love, parents find true joy. Here's to your joy and ours, from this day forward.

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And from this moment forward, it's time to party!