Thursday 13: Influences

Recently I've been thinking about some of the people and events who have shaped and changed me. I'm an optimist by nature, and I'm generally a cheerful and fairly healthy person. The last year has tested me. But every day is getting better and I can see some of my humor and spunk coming back. And, for what it's worth, even my heart knows better than to second guess having loved in the first place.

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So this Thursday 13 is about people and events who influence me, large and small:

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1. Trader Joe's: Do you have a Trader Joe's near you? It's a unique discount grocery store that sells easy-to-prepare food that tastes as good as homemade. I buy chicken marsala, french onion soup, guacamole, artichoke dip, key lime pie and so many other luscious things that I am no longer cooking like I used to. I don't know if that's good or not, but man is it convenient.

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2. My new Apple I-Phone: I just got it last week and it's incredible. I can check my blog and my emails from where ever I am, the phone is easy to use, it has a great to-do list, I can check the weather, get maps, watch Utube, take photos, play games, etc etc. If you haven't seen the this phone, I advise you to check it out. Incredible!

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3. My family: I am blessed with a wonderful family. My partner JB and I have been together now 25 years (unbelievable). She has so many wonderful qualities, but my favorite is that she lets me be myself and she loves me. My Jessica now has her own family, including my son-in-law Mike and two wonderful little boys, and knowing she is loved and happy means everything to me. And my mom, now 93, is sweet and engaged and vibrant. With zero memory and 100% humor, she lives her life as fully as she can.

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4. Blogging: I don't read as much as I use to because I spend much of that time blogging instead. But I've entered a whole new world and I wouldn't trade a minute of it. Art, writing, photography, philosophy, love, friendship: it's all there for me. I've learned so much, I've fallen in love, I've become a writer. I don't think I would have written and published my first book if it weren't for my blog and my blog friends.
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5. Children: I did not expect at my age to have children so front and center in my life again. I did not expect I would love being around children so much. My grandson Mr. Ryan is so much fun I can hardly keep up with him. And at six months old Mr. Drew smiles all the time. I love getting to know him. Eighteen months ago I took a job as a Psychotherapist. I told the agency I could not work with children because I never had, but one thing has led to another I now have young"clients' of all ages, from 4 through 17. It's wonderful. I "get" them, respect them, care about them, and they know it. And they give me all that back.
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6. My Laptop: I can't live without it! I've become a writer on this laptop. And if my Internet is down for some reason, I'm like a caged animal. I probably shouldn't admit this so readily, but if you're reading this I won't be surprised if you feel the same way.
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7. Isabelle: That's not her real name and I am careful what I want to say. She meant the world to me, we failed, and my heart got cracked open. As time passes, I hope I will never have regrets, not even from the parts that hurt like hell. It pains me to know she looks back with contempt and distain, and I hope for both of us someday she and I both can be thankful for what we gave one another.
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8. You-know-who-you-are and thank you so much: She offered me friendship at a time when I was reeling. She mails me sweet cards, listens to my problems and joys, doesn't judge me, and thrills me with her art. Our birthdays are a day apart, we make each other laugh, and I think we'll be friends for life.
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9. My camera: I carry it with me almost everywhere now. I still don't know more than 'point and shoot', but I love taking pictures and I love sharing them. I love making cards from them. I love the creativity it affords me.
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10. Provincetown: It's a quaint 'anything-goes' town at the ocean's edge. You can walk one end of town to the other in less than an hour. It has art and galleries and freedom and weather and beaches and incredible light and restaurants and free love. I feel free there. I walk the beach and I remember that my life is good. I remember to be thankful.
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11. Dogs: I'm partial to dogs. I adore their loyalty and willingness to wag their tales without a single complaint. I wish I could rescue every dog on the planet who deserves a loving home. If I were to choose one thing to devote my life's work to at this point, dog shelters and rescues would be right up there.
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12. Writing: A couple of years ago if you asked me I woul dsay I was "becoming a writer." I don't say that anymore: I know, finally, I AM a writer. It's now in my blood. It's not something I can not do. I have to write. I want to write. I do write. I write stories and poems and essays and novels. I write about life and love and lessons and loyalties. All I ask of myself is that I improve and learn as I go along.
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13. My heart: It's not that I don't use my head and mind: I do. I'm good in a crisis and I know how to solve problems But I can be fragile and vulnerable and sensitive because of my heart, and sometimes that takes me somewhere that feels or hurts pretty deeply. But it's too late for me: my heart is wide open and I'm pretty sure it's staying that way the rest of the journey. Don't ask me what it means for me ahead. I can only tell you I'd rather open up than shut down.
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There you have it: thirteen influences. How about you? Anybody else want to share?
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xoxo