Hello, it's me Emily. How are you today? I have had a fun week stealing carrots and radishes and three sunflowers..
But I have a sad story to report. Last April I took $ 6 of my $ 10 and instead of buying jellybeans I invested it in the stock market because I heard kj say maybe this might be a good time even though she didn't I still did because I think I am a smart little rabbit who most of the time is not afraid to ride the roller coaster with my paws in the air over my head. I just yell YIPPEE! and WEEEEE! and okay I do try to tuck my feet under the seat to be sure I won't fall out, but that's just being smart, right?
.
Anyway, I invested my money and instead of anything good I only got something bad. So yesterday I wrote another letter. This time I typed it so they would know I am not fooling around. I also mentioned my Mother which kj says it usually helps when you mention your mother:
Dear Templeton Growth Fund:
I read a letter that said I lost money instead of getting extra.
.
This is very bad.
.
My Mother and I prefer that things either stay the same or grow.
.
So please send me back my six dollars and I will do something better.
Sincerely,
Emily V. V. Rabbit
Even though I am little, I am planning to carry a sign in front of the post office that says "Templeton Owes Me Money" if I do not get my $ 6 back. kj says I am wrong and should have known I was taking a risk, but that is not the way I see it and I should do things the way I see it, right?
.
Next time I am going to invest my money in chocolate pretzels.
.
Maybe.
Yours Truly,
.
Emily
Dear Emily, loosing money is a hard lesson to learn. Unfortunately, it's happened to many of us lately.
ReplyDeleteDo not dispair. Take you $6 and buy carrot seeds to plant next spring.
Better $6 than nothing at all!
dedene, kj said they are not going to give me my $ 6 back. i don't believe her, do you? dedene, you and kj should buy carrot seeds. i don't need to since i can find all the carrots i want just by hopping into someone's garden and hopping off before they see me. that's why i like early mornings. i never get caught, and besides, it's good to share carrots, don't you think?
ReplyDeletesincerely
e. r.
I LOVE you and Emily!!!! You both inspire me, too. Big time.
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree, we should all invest in chocolate covered pretzels. Mmmmmm!
Love and hugs,
Angela
HA! I always invest my money in chocolate pretzels.
ReplyDeletems. angela, oops, i thought i would keep the chocolate covered preztel idea to myself? if other people invest, will that help or hurt me? i only care about myself. afterall, i'm the one who lost $6
ReplyDeletems. deborah, are you telling the truth? i don't think so....
yours truly,
e. rabbit
Emily,
ReplyDeleteI'm pulling wild carrots out of my garden. Have you ever tasted wild carrots? I'm afraid to. They also have a fancy name, "Queen Anne's Lace" and the carrot part is white.
Why don't you become a shareholder in jellybean factories!
ReplyDeleteLet them pay their interest in beans!
Just an idea.......
But I am not a good investor.........I only help to keep the economy running!
Emily don't be too sad I know it is hard earned money but you still have 4 dollars left go and buy yourself some treats and eat away your sorrow!
HAW and love to you!
The only thing I invest these days is time and energy.
ReplyDeleteIs this mic working?
I'll be here all week with my stupid foot still propped and iced and I'm sick of it and I want to boooooo hooooo whoooooooo from deep inside but I probably won't be rolling down any hills for a while so forget that bad idea.
Please send me some chocolate pretzels so I can just get fatter like a zeppelin.
xoxoxo
lololo
Emily, it's me me me, Oliver the parrot. I can't have chocolate, but I like pretzels. If you want, send me the letter and I will shred it for you. I am a very expert paper shredder.
ReplyDeletechewy, white carrots! NO! don't eat them. i think they're only for chipmunks. at least that's what my mother told me. and my uncle bunny said so too.
ReplyDeletebest friend marianne, i already spent the other $ 4--that is my problem. how was i to know some something would eat my profits? i am going to check out jelly bean factories. you have a good idea. maybe we could do this together. want to?
lololo, follow after me: BOOHOOBOOBOOHOOBOOBOOHOOBOOHOOBOO
BOOHOOHOOBOOHOOFUCKBOOHOOHOOHOOHOO
i think that will help. did it?
oliver, that is a very good idea. i will send you the letter after i get my money back.
fondly,
emily rabbit
Leave the money, since you won't get back the $6 anyway - if you're going to ride the mutual fund rollerceaster, you have to be prepared to stay on thoughthe downhill bits.
ReplyDeleteDear Emily,
ReplyDeletethank your lucky stars you are done with the green stuff, life is much simpler without it.
you are welcome to my garden anytime your hungry! just watch out for the racoons...
p.s. please tell kj the book is in the cart and thank you ☺
A big sign of course ánd a lot of yelling and screaming in front of that building. Go get them, Emily!
ReplyDeleteHello Emily dear - how are you today? it is thursday but I couldn't visit you yesterday, so sorry about that but I was working to make up for the gazillion dollars that Mr. Templeton took from me!
ReplyDeleteSo maybe they will send you 3 dollars back and if I were you, I'd stick it in my bra (you do wear a bra...don't you) and keep it for a rainy day and then buy jellybeans and eat them and be happy.
I love your spunk, Emily!! I'll see you tomorrow!!!!!! xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteToo funny.
ReplyDeletexoxox
On the bright side Emily, I saw rabbits at the ZOO yesterday, and they werent allowed to have ANY FUN AT ALL and they certinally did not have any jellybeans...so cheer up! Youre free and the rest will all come along, promise!
ReplyDeleteHere's a tip.... in the future just stash your money under the mattress.
ReplyDeleteJelly beans are too easy to eat and the stock market is only for those who enjoy roller coaster rides :)
x best wishes Ribbon
ROFLOLOLOLOL just when i think these posts can't get any funnier (sorry ms em, i am not laughing at you) promise.
ReplyDeletems. citizen, there is a mutual fund rollercoaster? is that the same as mutually funny? and what does this have to do with my $ 6. just because i like rollercoasters doesn't mean i shouldn't get my money back, right?
ReplyDeletedear ms. lori ann, where is your garden and thank you that i can steal from it. you are very nice. i told kj the beans are in the cart.
wieneke, i like that you encourage me to throw temper tamtrums. do you have them too? you seem to understand how important they are.
mim!! i do not wear a bra!!! i am little, remember, besides can't you tell from my polka dot bikini that that is enough? you are being a bad influence. i am not telling where i stuff my money, but it's a good place. :)
melissa, tomorrow? are you coming to a garden i frequent? and how will you know it's me?
most sincerely,
emily
renee, thank you but i cannot really tell if you like me or not. you tell so many people you love them but you never say anything like that to me. is it because i'm bratty?
ReplyDeletelavender, this is true. and this is true for you too!
ribbon, i use a pillow instead of a mattress. do you think that will work alright? how i do kj won't "borrow" my money if she runs out? i have to be careful, you know, so i don't run out of jellybeans
Hello Emily - I'm fairly new to kj's blog and am just beginning to get to know you a bit! Yep, losing your money is not nice - perhaps though, (if you invested it in the right sort of fund) if you hold on a bit those markets will improve and you might just see your money growing a bit again. Just hang on in there!
ReplyDeleteReally, Emily, that Templeton is not to be trusted. What about Charlotte's Daughters & Assoc.? They have much wider web of influence.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, Emily, if you steal carrots, can you still complain when wealthy mortgage bankers steal your money?
ReplyDeleteThat was a rhetorical question, Emily. No matter how badly you behave, you can still respond to the loss of your OWN money with self-righteous indignation. Believe me, you can. I do it all the time.
I heard that you miss me. I also read that your ride roller coasters with your paws in the air and your feet under the seat. Emily, dear, you have precisely four paws which ARE feet. I think that your persistent efforts to think of yourself as human might indicate that you have bought into the bigotry against other species that is commonly exhibited by human beings. You, being raised among us, naturally take on this bigotry, which is really rather absurd (if I may say so) since you are like, well, you know, a rabbit. I mean, come on, Emily, like, being a rabbit is cool too. You don't need to be a person, although you might want to dress like one so you can get into certain stores, and also so you won't get shot at if you go for a walk in the woods at certain times of the year.
Anyway, here I am, Emily. I haven't forgotten you. I've just been busy. (Besides, you've NEVER visited. I know, your MOTHER won't let you.
P.S. Please don't give me that business about you being a little rabbit who doesn't understand big words, because I know that, even though you are young, in comparison to me anyway, you are also a linguistic prodigy. I saw your school records, and I know your IQ is too high to even be tested. So, it won't fly, Emily. No more, "I'm just a little rabbit." You must laugh under your armpit (make that legpit) when people talk to you in monosyllables, never guessing that you're busy writing a dissertation on the gullibility of homo sapiens and what it means to the world's root vegetable crop.
PPS Emily. Given the market's ups and downs combined with the failure of even one growth fund manager to beat the market average over, say, a ten year period, you're better off in low cost total market index funds than in growth funds. Over many years, index funds perform better, and, instead of you paying 3% or more (often MUCH more) to the fund manager, you're only paying 2/10 of 1% or thereabouts (last time I checked, Fidelity was a little cheaper than Vanguard, but they're both really good companies).
ReplyDeleteRead John Bogle if you don't believe me.
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