Monday, October 10, 2022

Davoni

His name is changed but this is a true story. I was a psychotherapist some years back and I could tell you a hundred stories like this. 

The spacing didn't turn out correctly on this post but for some reason it's right as it is. 


 Davoni never answered. No matter what I asked him, he grinned and shrugged. “I don’t know,” he always 

said. This was his response when I asked him if he missed his mother, when I  asked him how he felt when his 

foster mother told him that she didn’t want him anymore, what he thought when the new foster family shaved his 

head and he had to he start a new school in a new home. I told Davoni that I would pay myself  a nickel every 

time he said “I don’t know.” and I’d soon be rich.  “Oh another nickel—that’s fifteen cents so far today!”  I joked

and and we laughed together, the way we sometime laughed for no reason when we walked to the little room 

holding hands and  tickling each other’s palms. He’s only six and he’s been in three foster homes so far. 

Davani only cried twice in front of me, once on the last day of kindergarten, when two of  his teachers kept showing him his special music award and told him how great he sang.. But later, in the school library room where we sometimes met, when I  asked him about the award and, he began  to cry and couldn’t stop. Finally he sobbed, “It should have been in spelling, not music. I didn’t try in music.” 

Last week he cried like that again, this time because he scratched another kid in his afterschool program and was suspended for five days. The teacher aide told me he cried so hard he couldn’t talk. She said he seemed like a good child, and smart; that she understands that he is in  a new school with new teachers and a new foster family, new faces, new  rooms, new rules. “But,” she said, he had to be punished. She also said he’s falling asleep in class.
“Do you sleep okay in your new room?” I asked him.
“I dunno,” he said.
            “Oh! Another nickel!” He laughed. We laughed. 
“Devoni,” I put my hands on his head and rubbed  his stub of hair. “About scratching that kid at afterschool, I can teach you how to use your words instead of your hands. I think that will help a lot, what do you think?” 
He looked up.“ I dunno.” He smiled and  paused. “Yes,” he said.

6 comments:

  1. This is heartbreaking and what I don't want for my grandson.

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    Replies
    1. pixie, this is NOT what will happen with your grandson. love kj

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  2. Oh, finally! I met a kid like that once. Abandoned by birth parents and raised by unwilling grandparents who refused to send him to therapy. 25 years and I can't get that face out of my mind. That child deserved a chance, and I was willing to go to his house and do it. But school rules forbid meeting him if his legal guardians specifically said not allowed. I was young and didn't know how to fight the system. So glad that this one won! I hope that child of mine is somewhere too, making the world a kinder place.

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  3. hdwk, I can't say that this child won. Not at all. I know what you mean about wanting to help and facing obstacles. sometimes the best we can do is hope. love kj

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  4. My oldest daughter is a social worker in a middle school and I hear stories about children like this all too often. I am very grateful that there are people like you and her who are able to give kids the kindness and tools they need to help navigate their worlds

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