Hanging these fab party lights was the last thing JB and I did before we left the new house in Provincetown and before I had surgery secretly praying that I would wake up the same me.
This is the longest I've gone without the urge or push to blog. It must be because I've been home recuperating and I am without my normal tools of camera and pen. Instead I've been sleeping and bending and slowly reading the daily paper.
This is about to change. This week I will see the surgeon who will tell me I can drive again and I will forego a cane for my own stiff knee and physical therapy where there is an exercise bike and weights. Tomorrow I will write again. I have sixty pages to pull in shape for submission to a certain agent I want to pick up my novel. I want a $ 5000 advance and I am envisioning that happening. :^)
Ah but this deck in Provincetown. I cannot believe this will too be part of my life.
I stopped work just before this surgery and for the first time in my adult life I will have no schedule I must keep. I have a consulting gig I can do at my own pace from home; I have a novel to finish; I have a garden that welcomes me anytime. I have a family and small children who live two hours away. I have worries and chores. But I also have a clean clear canvas. I don't know what I will do. I can easily find myself staying close to home, staying inside all day even, and I know that will not be good for me. I'm a social sort. I like contributing and I like attention.
I'm glad to be posting this tonight. It's a good sign for me. I'm just about off the heavy meds. Last night I made soup. Tonight I emptied the dishwasher. I've taken a shower. Normal life.
Normal life. This is my current worthy grateful goal and I'll be fine if it turns out to be anything but normal.
love love
kj
Best of luck with it all and it does sound like you are on the up.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your writing advance and I too believe you will get it.
Love and Light for healing x Robyn
Thanks Robyn.xoxo
DeleteWelcome back! xo, Zoe
ReplyDeleteZoe, :-)
DeleteLove those lights! It sounds you're inching along with your progress. Slow and steady wins the knee replacement race ;) Yay for being able to drive soon!
ReplyDeleteI may try to take myself out today, away from the clutter and mess of these boxes. How do I fit it all in here? I'm going to search for consignment shops for mt better stuff and release it.
I think you should make tomorrow special. Just sayin' :)
xoxoxoxo
Love,
Lo♥
Birthday girl, yard sale yard sale :-)
Delete(Sorry about those boxes. I hope you labeled the rooms they came from, )
Love
kj
kj,
ReplyDeleteThis is all good news!
Brenda
Brenda. Good news and a very stiff knee xo
ReplyDeleteI'm a fan of little white lights, They're fairy-like and magical.
ReplyDeleteGood you are looking forward to your new life and new home.
Cs, so true about the lights. They do create a magical atmosphere. I am dying to get back to this little house; hopefully in a few weeks
Deletexoxo
kj
oh good good news. I'm happy for you ms almost-birthday-girl! As I said, you're a trooper.
ReplyDeleteMim, I complain more than meets the eye :-)
DeleteI am into Boston for my birthday: surgical follow up, mr sushi for lunch (orgasm) and Jess and baby Reese; a nice day
Love
kj
Apparently, we must quite often find new normals . . . a main key to living life to the fullest. Acceptance of what we cannot change. I LOVE the party lights. Awaiting more pictures of Reese. Wishing you The Happiest Birthday So far. Enjoy. Life is worth living.
ReplyDeleteLovelovelove,
Deb
Deletedeb, pictures of reese just posted just for you. plus my own ramblings about girls and boys.
you inspire me every day. even our pity parties are made better by your take on life
love love
kj
Well, retirement takes a bit of adjusting. It took this old Bear a couple of years to get the hang of it. Now, I look at every day and think it's going to be a good day, even with no commitments. And it is.
ReplyDeleteI hope the book writing goes well, and the driving isn't a problem.
Blessings and Bear hugs!
desert.epiphanies@sasktel.net
Bears Noting
Life in the Urban Forest (poetry)
Deletethanks, bear! i'm not even sure i've retired! i have a novel to finish and a consulting gig i can do from home on my own schedule. what i do know however is exactly what you've pointed out. there is a freedom in falling into each day.
thanks for your blessings xo
loe
kj
hope normal life returns soon. and what was the result of the Dr visit? I havent been reading blogs for awhile and this was a few days back.
ReplyDelete
Deletesuki, the surgeon says i'm doing fine but my knee is not quite believing that! it' not easy to walk normally and man is it stiff. but i know this is going to take time. i am doing okay.
love
love
kj
Off heavy meds. God, I wish I could do that. I live ripped. I try to imagine what it was like to not be ripped all the time, and it seems like something that happened on another planet in another lifetime.
ReplyDeleteBrian Williams had a knee replacement last week. I guess he heard that you were doing okay, so he found the courage to follow your example, you and 635,000 other Americans each year. More knees are replaced than all the other joints put together.
Deletesnow, i thought of you while on the oxycodone. sometimes the effect was subtle and i was barely aware that i was abit 'removed' from myself. but other times i knew i was not thinking or even talking in my normal way, even if it wasn't really obvious. it was so easy to take an oxy to calmly fall asleep. i worried about that part the most.
i know about brian williams. it will be interesting to see how long it takes him to be back on the air. JB went back to work in a month (sedentary office job) and maybe i could have shown up in five weeks (next week) but i'm still aware of pain and stiffness and no fooling myself about that. i have stopped the oxy's all together but i'm leaving open the possibliity that i may need at least 5 mg when i start outpatient physical therapy next week.
i'm glad you are able to do what you do.
love
kj
"i knew i was not thinking or even talking in my normal way"
ReplyDeleteI make a great effort to avoid acting like I'm drugged. I tend to think pretty off-the-wall anyway, and drugs increase that tendency, marijuana especially. As for oxycodone, I could be mean on it, and I especially try to reign that in, so far without any thought that I've ever failed.