For Deborah xo

This is Reese. She is one month old. I am highlighting her for my friend Deborah, who has a little grand girl of her own and whose family has been unfairly targeted by fecking cancer. I hope she makes you smile, Deb. 

Reese is the fourth child of my beloved and only child, Jessica. From age seven, Jess grew up in a two Mom household and I would have bet all my riches she would never have four children. Reese has three brothers, Mr. Ryan 6, No Longer Baby Drew 4, and Logan almost 2. 

We expected a fourth boy. It has actually be a shock that Reese is a girl. Which is interesting.

How petty to admit it's partially about the clothes. Boys' clothes are really boring; I'd be surprised to hear much disagreement about that. Already I've bought Reese a fall knit dress even as I lay on the couch nursing my new knee. 

But it's more than just the clothes. I've worried about my daughter when I am too old to take care of her. I've looked at her boys and I've guessed it will be Drew who will care for her most and best when she is old and needs care. I look at the situation with my brother and myself and I thank god there is me to tend to our Mother. Forgive me because I know there are exceptions, but we girls get it better: we understand nurturing and care giving and we seem to accept what is needed and expected. 

So I am glad my Jess will have a daughter.

But not just that either. I expect I will do different things with Reese. Maybe not. I imagine simply by nature of being a girl that she may be calmer than the boys. Maybe more interested in spending time coloring and cooking and going through my jewelry box and not as much physical rough housing. I KNOW I may be wrong here; I really do. But still, it feels different. 

Reese's two youngest brothers kiss her every morning and evening, want to hold her, speak softly to her. Do they react differently because she is a girl? Will they wrestle with her in the same way? And will they tend to protect her in ways different from their bonds with one another? 

Don't get me wrong. I love these boys. Adore them. Every year JB and order their pajamas for the year. 

It is the most fun thing. Mr. Ryan via his Mother sent us a photo yesterday. He was excited to try on his new pajamas. 

Last year just about this time I bought Mr. Ryan a big boy camera for my birthday. It was quite an event: I took him to a camera store and a very nice man taught him some basic instruction. I told him this is something he and I will do together for years; gallivanting and taking pictures. At the time Jess politely said to me, "You can't be serious that you bought a real camera for a five year old?"

Well yes I did. Last weekend Jessica told me, "Wait until you see the photos Ryan took at the beach--pretty amazing." I am not surprised. This will be one of I hope several assets he will carry into life which will help him feel competent and curious. That's what assets do: they build up your self esteem.

I am so glad.

 

Love

kj