Thursday Thirteen

It's not how I thought it would be.

My vacation.

1. Most of all, I have worried about my 96 year old Mother. She can't rely on her memory and most of all I am pained to think of her afraid and lost. Which she has been. Especially when I am not around. I know now I will not be away for this long again for as long as she knows I am gone. Trip to Alaska next spring? Cancel. Trip to Seattle in October? Cancel. Quick trips back to Provincetown? Yes.

2. With the hardest out of the way, for the rest of my seventeen days in Provincetown JB and I are checking off a list of 'would like to's"written on a napkin the night we arrived. For starts, I've wanted to write every morning, get through the first full run of my never ending novel. I'm doing it.  I am approaching page 300 (double spaced with plenty more editing to do) and I can finally see The End.

3. We kayaked the morning after a rare blue moon and the tide was so low we hit sand bars three times. Grrr. But what fun. I saw no water lily girls but I looked for them (mim xo)

4. Every afternoon by 2 pm JB and I are at the beach. We bob in the August waves of the Atlantic ocean and lie in the sun, happy voices and flapping waves coming from all sides. I forget to worry in these times. My senses take over and I am content.

5. Late late at night we are watching early episodes of "Sex and the City." We brought the whole CD set here and we are almost at year three. Oh the sex! But too the series is thoughtful and deep in friendship and philosophy. These four women are my orgasmic friends! :^)

6. We have looked at three houses. I like do that on vacations: look at real estate. But this time we wonder what it would be like to live here in a house. The news is not promising: expensive. Very. Impossibly so. But I don't worry about that. When something's to be, the path becomes clear. Sooner or later, wishes meet reality and something happens.

7. I have taken four dozen pieces of paper of all sizes and either taped or recopied their scribbles into my address book. I now have an organized book again. After three years.

8. Lobster tomorrow night when our friend Liz arrives.

9. This book I am writing: I have four books I'm using as research and I'm reviewing my notes from them. This morning: Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow by Elizabeth Lesser. My favorite: Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence by Esther Perel.

10. I haven't mentioned food. We get to eat out. With an ocean view. I'll leave it at that.

11. I am looking at my water color set but mostly I am looking at this brush that looks like a small fan. It is for painting leaves on trees. I've left it on the coffee table so I won't forget to paint a tree this week.

12. Today I plan to paint my toe nails blue.

13. And tomorrow I am getting my hair colored but I don't know what color. Safe is auburn. But safe on vacation? Maybe not.

I hope all is well where you are. ♥

Love

kj