Wordsmiths

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I am happy for myself.

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This weekend confirmed that I am indeed writing again, trusting words: Writing poems, writing book proposals, writing second drafts, writing snippets.
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This is good news for me.
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To me, coming upon the right word is a natural high, much like coming upon a perfect musical note or a perfect shade of blue. So in this spirit I hope you enjoy the winning submissions from The Washington Post's yearly word contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. My favorite is # 6, followed closely by # 11.

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1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men

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And for those who think a picture is worth a thousand words:

wishing you a good week,

with love
kj