Animal Wednesday: Emily Guru

Hello everyone, it's me Emily. This week I thought I would give you advice to help you have a good summer and stay out of trouble, at least as much as you can.

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In general rabbits are a lot easier-going than people. Even though I am little this is what I think you should do 99% of the time:

1. Keep your tail up and never sit on it, even when you can't help it: If you have to tie your tail so it stays up, put on a headband and tie it that way. You just don't want to be walking around with your tail between your legs or sitting on it because that tells the world you aren't confident and you get your way more if people think you are confident.

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2. Cry at a normal volume but keep crying louder and louder until you are at least heard. kj says you don't need someone to agree with you but you need to know they hear you. And it's true: I always feel better after I spout off even if I have to cry about it too.

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3. Don't be a wimp: This is the same as not sitting on your tail. For example, when kj's friend told her she was needy and selfish, kj told her she was being mean and sounded heartless. Then her friend laughed and said to her, "I've been told that before." HELLO kj! HELLO! Tell her she is mean again and take off. You can be nice again if things get better but if not just stop caring about it.

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4. If you have to fight, kick as hard as you can the first time. One hard kick is 100% better than 12 little kicks.

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5. Bend Bend Bend like a tree. Even little me who likes to get her way most of the time knows that a lot of times it's better to bend than to hold on and lose. For example, when I got arrested and it was not my fault, kj was mad about having to post bail for me but that was not my fault either so I wanted to complain to kj and tell her to stop being mad at me about the money but I didn't dare because after all she did bail me out and she is nice to me sometimes, so I was very nice and just smiled sweetly. That is an example of bending.

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6. Try to have a best friend who is nice like Marianne but don't pick someone who has had a lot of best friends already because for example that probably means they will go through best friends like I go through bikini bottoms (sometimes they fall off in the ocean when I'm bobbing and they float away.) And it's not the best idea to have a best friend who doesn't stay your best friend because what kind of a best friend would stop being your best friend anyway, right?

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7. If you happen to be grouchy or worse, do it with someone who will be nice to you anyway. Tell them then they can be grouchy or worse when they are in a jam and you will be nice to them back.

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8. If you can't stop feeling sad, eat four dozen jellybeans and roll down a hill three times. That is guaranteed to take your mind off your feeling sad and turn it to your weird feeling stomach instead.

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9. If you have choice between being nice or mean, be nice. But if you have to choose between being happy or sad, be happy every time even if you have to stomp your feet, cry from your stomach, or even steal a radish or two.

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If you have any suggestions to add to this list, I don't mind if you do.

Sincerely Yours,

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Emily Rabbit