Saturday, October 31, 2009

Excessive Halloween Drinking Fells Local Witch

I am very sorry to report that a member of my household, Esther, reluctant mother of Little Mildred and fair weather friend to Angel Angel was found to be drinking excessively on Halloween Day. It appears she attempted to fly without her assistive device and was fortunate to sustain only minor injuries on her erratic trip back to the couch..
There is evidence that Esther ate twenty-one regular sized Reese's Peanut Butter cups and three extra-sized Mars Bars during her state of inebriation. She attempted to stuff the wrappers under a potted plant but she failed to cover them adequately and they were discovered by JB during a routine watering.
Esther has not provided information about how much liquor she imbibed but she did report a serious headache and significant hiccups minutes before she passed out on the couch. Little Mildred and Angel Angel did not appear to be happy with the incident but both have declined comment at this time.
Esther will not be distributing Halloween candy this evening as planned. The remaining members of her household none-the-less wish to wish their friends, family, and neighbors a Happy Halloween.

*Breaking news: The kj household will be hosting the traveling Milo in the upcoming weeks, as part of his world tour arranged by Deborah of Midlife Poet. It is likely that Esther will be required to undergo a brief period alcohol rehabilitation in order to assure that Milo is not negatively influenced.


  1. Funny how it "felled" her in different places. Confess, KJ, you moved the body for no better reason than to take embarrassing photos.

  2. Ha, Ha, Happy Halloween! xoxo

  3. Hmmm - I smell Emily's influence

  4. They say that moving the body destroys all evidence.

    I often have the hiccups when we speak on the phone. What are you implying?

    Kj. Fess up.
    The wrappers are yours.

    We still love you but we thought it was high time for intervention.


  5. heehee, hahaha, funny funny.

    I guess the combination of Reeces and witchs brew proved too much for poor Esther.

    Happy Halloween kj household!

  6. Good for her for letting her hair down and putting her hat on backwards! Every witch needs a bit of madness now and again.

  7. middle, esther would try to pinch you for calling her a hussy. one time a friend of ours sat on her by mistake and she called an attorney...

    snow, mr. smartypants, you have no proof.

    annie, same back at you..

    mim, this is true...sort of... xoxo

    lo, who is this 'we' you are referring to? so what if i did eat some candy bars? that doesn't mean i need intervention, does it? (hic) (up)

    lori, i looked at your wedding pictures again tonight. beautiful.

    purestgreen, ah, i can see you have a wild streak yourself. it's so obvious!! :)

  8. Oh dear, it's those cauldron-sized punch bowls*!*

  9. sounds like the witch got caught up in the heat of the chocolate and liquor. Though we did have one thing m this witch and I, in common, we both fell asleep and missed the party.

  10. If she looks that good stoned she must be a beauty when she's behaving herself!
    You don't have a boring old regular household, do you?! :)

  11. How interesting! Esther and I spent last night in exactly the same way.

    Hope she's not too sick today.

  12. a great chuckle. hope she has recovered today but maybe she needs to spend the day after in bed!

  13. KJ dearest,
    Thanks alot. After reading the last few posts (I have to play this way because I am still stuck in stateworkery world, until i get off my duff and Do Something Different) I nearly peed my panties. Oh my goddess. What a fabulous delight you are! I think Santa will have to bring more grundies this Christmas, as I am pretty sure I am addicted. Just like Esther (though I feel for her, poor thing). and not to chocolate. OH how BRILLIANT you are! You rock.

  14. HAHAHAHAHAHAhhahahaaa! What a hoot! I am happy to see her taking responsibility and going to rehab before Milo arrives!

  15. Fun story, fun have your own unique way with the Halloween festivities and I thoroughly enjoyed it!

  16. heehee, hope she didn't barf on the couch :P

  17. LOL @ Middle Aged Woman

    Yes! Hussy indeed :)

  18. bimbimbie, but we have no punchbowls in the house! :)

    walking man, i missed the party too...:)

    lydia, your comment is adorable! hahaha

    dedene, your comment is adorable too!

    suki, she has not recovered. she is sulking on the couch, complaining. reminds me of emily. how do i have such wild females in my life?!

    thank you, babs. xo & :)

    rhonda roo, my head is happily expanding reading your comment. thank you thank you thank you. you are very sweet and very fun.

    sophia, welcome and thank you. xo

    deborah, i'm glad you approve. hope all is well with you :)

    stacey, totally!

    hello teri, nice to see you here. i'll be by your place too, xo

    wolfie, hello! how nice to see you!

    val, that would have been the last broomstick straw... xoxoxoxo!

    milady, little mildred cannot be thinking of her mother as a hussy. it doesn't sound healthy for her...

  19. Esther, I'm shocked, just shocked. Whenever I have been in your company you haven't showed this side of you. Hmmm, maybe when Milady and I are there in January we'll get a taste of the naughty Esther. :D

  20. melissa, HAHAHAHA!

    i love you!

  21. roflol, and we sat here sedately watching telly...boooring!

  22. Ingenious, kj! I can't stop laughing! It reminds me of a large family in which Emily has been chosen to be the scapegoat!
    I'm about halfway through the book, and I can't put it down! It flows the way life does, as does the dialogue. The details make it so real. I sense a forewarning, though! xxox

  23. Haha, whenever we see witch 'dolls' my daughters say loudly "Look, its Grandma"...I'm sure they are having me on, my mum is lovely and so is my mother-in-law!

  24. LOL, KJ :) Great post and pictures! I enjoyed this so much and it gave me a smile and laugh....much needed today :)

  25. Hahaha! I hope Esther is feeling better by now and that you don't make her feel too guilty. A girl's gotta let loose some time!


  26. Witches need to cut loose once in a while.

  27. thanks for dropping by kj and do come over often.
    i thoroughly enjoyed the story of the inebriated witch :-)

  28. If I ate that much chocolate I'd puke-oh wait, the peanut butter has protein.

    KJ-I'm still thinking about those peanut butter cups and the whole wonderful chocolate shop.

  29. Do you have copy writer for so good articles? If so please give me contacts, because this really rocks! :)