Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Animal Wednesday: Emily Guru

Hello everyone, it's me Emily. This week I thought I would give you advice to help you have a good summer and stay out of trouble, at least as much as you can.
In general rabbits are a lot easier-going than people. Even though I am little this is what I think you should do 99% of the time:
1. Keep your tail up and never sit on it, even when you can't help it: If you have to tie your tail so it stays up, put on a headband and tie it that way. You just don't want to be walking around with your tail between your legs or sitting on it because that tells the world you aren't confident and you get your way more if people think you are confident.
2. Cry at a normal volume but keep crying louder and louder until you are at least heard. kj says you don't need someone to agree with you but you need to know they hear you. And it's true: I always feel better after I spout off even if I have to cry about it too.
3. Don't be a wimp: This is the same as not sitting on your tail. For example, when kj's friend told her she was needy and selfish, kj told her she was being mean and sounded heartless. Then her friend laughed and said to her, "I've been told that before." HELLO kj! HELLO! Tell her she is mean again and take off. You can be nice again if things get better but if not just stop caring about it.
4. If you have to fight, kick as hard as you can the first time. One hard kick is 100% better than 12 little kicks.
5. Bend Bend Bend like a tree. Even little me who likes to get her way most of the time knows that a lot of times it's better to bend than to hold on and lose. For example, when I got arrested and it was not my fault, kj was mad about having to post bail for me but that was not my fault either so I wanted to complain to kj and tell her to stop being mad at me about the money but I didn't dare because after all she did bail me out and she is nice to me sometimes, so I was very nice and just smiled sweetly. That is an example of bending.
6. Try to have a best friend who is nice like Marianne but don't pick someone who has had a lot of best friends already because for example that probably means they will go through best friends like I go through bikini bottoms (sometimes they fall off in the ocean when I'm bobbing and they float away.) And it's not the best idea to have a best friend who doesn't stay your best friend because what kind of a best friend would stop being your best friend anyway, right?
7. If you happen to be grouchy or worse, do it with someone who will be nice to you anyway. Tell them then they can be grouchy or worse when they are in a jam and you will be nice to them back.
8. If you can't stop feeling sad, eat four dozen jellybeans and roll down a hill three times. That is guaranteed to take your mind off your feeling sad and turn it to your weird feeling stomach instead.
9. If you have choice between being nice or mean, be nice. But if you have to choose between being happy or sad, be happy every time even if you have to stomp your feet, cry from your stomach, or even steal a radish or two.
If you have any suggestions to add to this list, I don't mind if you do.
Sincerely Yours,
Emily Rabbit


  1. Emily I can't believe how different you look today. Is that purple colour from a sun burn?

    Did that bad kj make you stay out in the sun in Province Town.

    Love Renee xoxo

  2. renee, that is my bathing suit!!!!! it's my little bikini. are you teasing me, ms. renee? because if you are i don't mind because i will tease you back if you don't mind which i'm sure you don't...

    e. r.

  3. Hi Emily,
    "I was an oak, now I'm a willow; I can bend."

    Very good advice you're giving,,I think you must be one sharp Bunny!
    Or, maybe it's all the jellybeans,,I'll have to try your diet.

  4. bend but not to the point of break, but bend bend bend. But if eventually you break, get yourself together in a better way that before.

  5. 1) Keep your tail upwards! Sometimes hard to do so in circumstances but what is in mind? yes, always. no fear!

    2) If we can cry munificently for anyone or for others, the aim will be achieved one day.

    3)Wimp! Namby pamby dreamy thoughts are for those who doesn't have spines. I agree with the rabbit.

    4) hmmm.. I would rather kick thousand times and take rest and again kick million times..

    5) The fruit laden tree always more bend than a dry tree.

    6)The best friend is God. Don't pray but converse with Him everyday.

    7) When irritated it's better to read or take a bath. Water has a magnificent affect on body.

    8) Sadness only comes when there is a moment of happiness in life. Both are chains. One iron and another one is gold. Why become a slave? We are masters. Isn't it? However, I like the idea of jellybean.


  6. em, i LURV no 7. it's priceless. i want to add: 'laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone'. I mostly find that people don't give a damn, maybe i should start cultivating rabbits as my friends, i would have more luck! love you ms em and look forward to visiting you each and every week (till your book gets published!)

  7. i love you emily. you are my muse

  8. Blank the mind and clear the canvass, the old painting has already been seen. Now paint a new one for the world to look at.

  9. Dear Emily,

    What if you have trouble bending because you've been driving for 7 hours a day and sleeping in hotels beds every night?

    Guess what?
    See ya soon!!


  10. Wise Emily...I believe your nine steps are correct. I want to add # 10 ..Laugh when you can and dont take things so seriously some days.

    Hugs emily..

    Sonia xoxoxo

  11. babs, i like you. and yes, try jellybeans and radishes.

    mariana, i agree. you are very smart, like me....

    shubjajit, i like the way you write and kj said to tell you she does too. you make me smile too.

    ms. soulbrush, hahahahahahahahahaha
    hahahahahahahahahaha. how's that?

    emily r.

  12. I like jellybeans but not radishes.

    Any report on how the book signing went?

  13. who could be mean to you? sorry i'm a duddy blogbud, i am working like a dog :)

  14. Happy time reading this KJ.

    Cool Emily posture besides the Buddha...Of course I laugh!

    Can I add one...He..He..
    Sing at a high tune!
    Whisper secretly to God and animals!
    These are some provent cool strategies:)
    May be I should make a post regarding this and thanks KJ!

    Happy Thurday, Friday and weekends:)

  15. Emily, I love your list :-). I would only add one thing. Love your life, warts and all :-), because it is all beautiful.

  16. mim, why thank you very much. that is very nice of you to say. except what is a muse-is it like a mouse?

    walking man, i am too little to understand any of this, but i like the sound of it anyway...

    lololo, once i slept in a hotel room in butte montana when my family went to the western bunny festival. but i never drove 7 hours a day so i think you have a good reason to complain. don't forget to kick your feet, the higher the better. xo

    sonia, hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
    i laughed. pretty good huh sonia?

  17. Emily,
    I agree with you and sharing your thoughts. It is good to remind each other of staying cool and take control of our lives. Direction is much more important than result in the short run.

  18. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  19. chewy, i was at that book signing for one minute until i went to find my duck friends. kj looked happy and smiled. she sold one book and had two people from boston come to meet her because they read her book and that made kj very excited. and then she is going to do two more signings, this time just before kate clinton and she is excited about that. i may see if anyone wants to buy my bunnyprint instead..

    valgal, kj loves you. she told me again.

    most sincerely,

  20. yoon see, 'sing at a high tune'! i like that. LALALALALALALA. am i doing it?

    annie, that is good advice except i have to be able to complain whenever i need to. okay?

    james, you are very interesting. do you know what tea is best for rabbits who want to have fun and eat jellybeans with the tea? please advise.

    yours truly,

    emily rabbit

  21. hi kj. this is liz. i love you!

  22. i like no 8.

    But my stomach doesn't feel so good today. so, maybe tomorrow huh?


  23. Emily, I thought of you the other day when I was having a jelly bean pity party for myself. Molly should have read your advice, a big old labrador kept sitting and stepping on her tail during dog class-she was very annoyed (but she held her sit and her stay-good girl).

    Ok, I guess I should tell the whole truth-when he was bouncing on her, she did bite his nose, but honestly, he deserved it. I thought she showed good restraint letting him step on her tail.

    He was a non-neutered male, and bouncing on my baby dog is a no-no! I would have bit him if she hadn't done it herself.

  24. silver, did you remember to roll down the hill three times? that part is important. i hope you visit me again. are you nice?

    debra kay, if someone stepped on my tail, i would definitely bite their nose, and maybe their ears too. so i think molly was 100% right. i hope you gave her some cookies.

    most sincerely,


  25. Sage advice, Emily. You are undoubtedly a rabbit genius!

  26. tessa, kj says you are a human genius, but she likes that you are a human sweetie even more. she told me....

    yours sincerely,

  27. i saw a crying little girl at the bus stop yesterday; having a royal fit - crying louder and louder. was surprised at how lovingly her mother took care of her and talked her through it and wondered if that reinforced the crying for next time. it was sweet none the less

  28. Hi Emily !
    it's me....sorry I was not here on Wednesday.
    I have seen your post tough but I had no energy to respond!
    First of all I am a strong believer in everyone has to be it's own guru!
    But I am sure open to some good advice!
    And I know I can learn a lot from you! I love your suggestions.
    I need to learn to cry again.
    I am not a wimp and never will, but we humans always sit on our tails you know.........we can't help it. but I know what you mean.
    I must try these jellybeans, my son finished them before I could blink my eyes. But I have been eating a lot of chocolate these last few days. Good for my mood but not for my belly.

    Hope you have had a wonderful Animal Wednesday and KJ paiid you a fortune for this uplifting post!
    If not you warn me.

    love >M<

  29. Good advice! "Don't be a wimp" -- sad to say, I'm a wimp. I know, I should stop.

    Thanks for the wonderful advice. I'll keep a doze of them in my pocket everyday.