Tis The Season

 I love Christmas. JB and I gift plenty of special cards, presents or cookies or dinners at our table. For a reason I don't understand, I feel especially generous and kind during the holidays. 

I know this is a tough time for many of us. Our family flaws and personal disappointments weigh heavily sometimes, and this time of year magnifies all that. I know I'm lucky to have a happy healthy family, and a partner I love and trust, and a home I that comforts me. I can afford to be generous and kind. 

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, my friends. I am forever glad to have this blog thread through the years of my life. 

love kj

The Blogs & Me

 

This is kind of a sad story. It's about blogging.

My blog made its debut in 2006. At the time I had just begun my first writing group, and two of the writers suggested I start my own blog so we could share each other's stories and essays. It was easy.

There was no Facebook or Instagram or social media, and even email, begun in 1989 by America on Line (AOL), still felt new and intriguing. So I  called my blog OPTIONS for a Better World and  published my very first blogpost: 

Welcome!

Welcome to the "better world" blogsite. Here you will find information,
musings, advice, and my personal stories about life, career, happiness,

and living well. This may come in various forms, but the underlying 
effort and intent is to affirm and re-affirm the ability and responsibility
to live a good life. 

More to come, 
kj

About a month or two later, I stumbled upon a Blog site called Illustration Friday (IF). On it, all kinds of artists posted their original work and wrote about it, and IF followers left comments. It was a reciprocal arrangement; I'll follow you and you follow me.

The people I met from this were unbelievable: painters, writers, photographers, travelers, journalists--from all over the world. Over the next two years, I became friends with people from Europe and India and South America and Australia and Iran and Japan and Canada and Mexico and South Africa and the Philippines etc etc , and just about every state in America. 

If you've ever wondered if it's possible to truly get to know someone without ever having met them in person, I'm here to say yes 100%. It was as though we came to know one another from the inside out instead of the outside in. We were often vague about where and how we lived (unless we had a good story to tell!), but several times a week--sometimes even daily--we shared our goings-on. We shared our art, our trips, our  stories, our observations, our scenery. 

For years, I was privileged to visit and be visited by almost 50 regular bloggers. Among them, there were 30-35 or so of us who laughed and teased and shared all kinds of happenings. I should add that my partner JB was nervous and very paranoid about my sharing with 'strangers,' but over time she and I met a number of my blog friends in person, and it turned out, for me at least, that my ability to judge someone's character was as intact on the blogs as it was at my workplace or in my neighborhood. 

I should also point out that I had one difficult and painful relationship born and buried on the blogs. It ended badly, and for me, that hurt my daily and weekly joy. But looking back, it was the arrival of Facebook and social media that made the Blogs less relevant. Slowly and surely, most of 'us' stopped posting with any regularity, and even now, even a die-hard blogger like me isn't here in any reliable manner.

Those early blogging years were some of the most productive and happiest in my writing life and in my friendships.  I miss all of it! There will be a few of my visitors here who remember and who still share. I'm so glad of that. But because most of us used pen names, I've lost people I wouldn't know how to contact, even if I had a reason to. 

My memories are deep and special, and that must be the way the universe wanted it to be. If you are reading this current post, thanks so much for being here. I'm so glad. I cherish now, but I surely miss then. 

love kj

A Terrific Day at Sea

 My good friends gifted JB and me a pontoon day at sea, hugging Provincetown's incredible bay, enhanced by a bright blue sky, camarons sunning on ancient rocks and along the jetty, and a gentle flow that reached our collective hearts.

The day was magnificent. 

Sincerely, Lucky Duck kj

Home

 I live in a place that I'm always glad to return to. The summer crowds and our summer company will soon fall into Autumn. Quieter, more reflective, and always beautiful. 

Our Summer Family

 This is personal and it gives me great joy. 

This is JB and our 15 year old grandson, Drew, walking on our street in Provincetown, on day 2 of a 3 day visit. Drew's a foot taller than he was last year, and more into the world of his phone and TikTok, but, along with his 3rd grandmother Pat, we had a wonderful time together. We ate, we bowled, we watched Big Brother and a movie, we walked to the pool and to our favorite Fanizzi's Restaurant, and we squirmed and blushed our ways through the unexpected raunchy scenes from The Rocky Horror Show, a stage production at our local theatre. 

JB and I have each of our grandkids alone, here in Ptown, for 3-4 days each summer. There will come a time when they'll be too busy or bored to come, or we'll be too sleepy and boring to have them. But that time isn't now, and I am so grateful. Just seeing these two walking together made me happy. And Jess is coming for an overnight, without the kids, in a few weeks. 

This is all about MEMORIES. They get imprinted. They stay. On the phone, Drew told his mother that the Rocky Horror Show was "horrible," but afterwards, the more we three grandmothers and one teenage grandson talked about it last night, the funnier it was and the more we laughed. Priceless. 

(I wish the same for you, in whatever ways appear.)

love kj

Las Vegas

JB and I have a tradition of taking our grandkids and nieces and nephews anywhere they want in the USA when they turn 16. We were a year late with our 17 year old Ryan, but finally, off we went. We're not sure why, but he chose Las Vegas. This would be his first time out west.

 We were determined to create a lifetime memory for him. We didn't know that would be true for us too, but it was. I booked us at Circus Circus for three nights, remembering how cool it was when I took my Jess when she was in 6th grade. It has an inside giant amusement park, with laser games: I figured Ryan would like that. Wrong. The hotel was a pit. And the kids were little, not teenagers.

So we moved immediately. We ended up at Planet Hollywood, in the middle of all the action on the Las Vegas Strip. It turned out there was a piercing convention there when we were: probably 300 or more attendees plastered with piercings and tattoos from head to foot. They were a great group: psyched about the new techniques they were learning, all ages, and fun to chat with.

We had adjoining rooms with Ryan. He loved having his own space and we had a total great time. We had the fabulous buffet at Ceasar's Place (omg!) lunch at Gordon Ramsey's Hell's Kitchen (also omg!); we saw the Bellagio Fountains and a Cris Angel Magic Show (a disappointment); we rode the giant High Roller at midnight (it took 30 minutes to go around one time.) We all agreed that the show at the 360 degree theatre at the Sphere was the highlight of our trip: a 50 minute immersive experience about planet earth, in a circular space where birds flew overhead and our seats shook and elephants thumped toward us and the forests and the mountains and oceans evolved right in front of our eyes. It was phenomenal.

We did a wholelot more, but the bottom line was how special it all was. No casino slot machine playing because of Ryan's age, but 10 minutes before we taxied to the airport, he gave JB $ 60 of the $100 she had given him to spend however he wanted, and asked her to put it all on black on the roulette wheel. She did, and he pocketed $ 120.00. A fitting end to an awesome trip. 

I hope our Ryan remembers his time with Gram & BB forever. I know we will. xoxoxo

 

Life in Provincetown

I'm asked a lot what it's like to live in Provincetown. 

This is a coastal town on at the end of a peninsula, at the very tip of Cape Cod, in Massachusetts, in New England, on the Atlantic Ocean. The year round population is around 3,600, and about 55% of housing is seasonal. In the summer season, there can be up to 60,000 people here vacationing and enjoying the beaches, the harbor, the restaurants, art galleries, shopping, and nightlife. 

The question I'm asked the very most is what is it like to live in Provincetown in the winter.

I'll answer that first. It's quiet and local and beautiful. Whether it's a brisk winter day when your cheeks freeze, or a snowstorm when you hunker inside, or a wild wind and rain that blows and shakes the roofs and windows, we can't avoid the elements here. We're vulnerable to floods and storms, but mostly, if you live here, you can't help but be part of the weather patterns. Sudden and dark clouds blowing into the local bay are a magnificent sight. You learn to keep track of the forecasts and the tides.

Winter is also a time to leisurely catch up with friends. In the summer, most of us are busy with vacationing visitors, so to be able to cook and gallivant and share special meals with special people is a treat. It's made more so by the quiet outside. Janet and I live on one of the only two main streets in and out of Ptown, so the silence is a luxurious backdrop to socializing. And the time to quietly read or write or paint or veg out on Netflix--that's luxurious too.

Whether you've been here a hundred times or one time or never, most people think of Ptown as a beach town. The Cape Cod National Seashore protects almost 44,000 acres of land here. This includes a forty mile stretch of unspoiled sandy beaches in Outer Cape Cod. Ptown has its fair share of those beaches and its spectacular sand dunes, so beach life is naturally what comes to mind.

For many out-of-towners, it's a huge surprise that we residents are always attuned to coyotes, and we know that during mating season we can't let our smaller dogs off leash or unprotected. We aren't afraid of the many local foxes we commonly see scurrying along the streets and in and out of yards, and we pretty much ignore the turkeys who travel in groups and complain like old grouches. 

And living here in summer: that too is miraculous. By Memorial Day, the repairs and renovations that started in March are done and the town is ready to showcase its best appearance. It's no longer inexpensive to visit here: hotels can easily pull in $300-plus a night, and even lunch for two will too often top $50. But there's plenty to do that cost nothing. By August the bay and ocean waters are a warm 80 degrees. There are colorful scallop shells all along the beaches, the whale watches will take your breath away, and the 'be-yourself' vibe is contagious. Ptown is the one of gayest places in America, and home to more than 60 art galleries. The Friday Night gallery strolls are invigorating, and the many restaurants and bars and cafes are excellent. 

And the shoulder seasons--spring and fall: the best of all. There is not a more beautiful place to be in September and October in all the world. Ask anyone who knows, and they'll agree. 

Most of all, whatever the season, uou can be yourself here. You'll probably feel extra creative here. It's easy to fall into the rhythm of the tides here. In short, it's a gift to live in Provincetown. A huge gift.

PS I will love your comments. Many will show up as Anonymous, so please include your name xo

My Sketching Project

 Every Christmas, my family has a fabulous Yankee Swap--all of us, four kids and four adults, with a pile of wrapped presents to chose from,  all on the coffee table. This year, I ended up with a Drawing Journal that provides a daily drawing prompt. There are 365 prompts in all, and I'm committed to doing all of them.

This one requested something reflecting Japanese architecture. I do all this free hand, and there's clearly room for improvement, but I'm coming along. It feels really good to have a year-long challenge where I'll learn and improve. I'm thinking I may give the final journal to my Jessica next Christmas. She may or may not appreciate it, but in my mind, I fantasize that maybe the great grandchildren I may never know might look at my doodles and get a kick out of them.

A musician friend once told me that almost all new music is pirated aka "borrowed" from what already exists. There are only so many combinations of notes. I wonder if art is kind of the same. Almost always, I'm googling examples of what the daily prompts require--draw a landscape looking down, sketch a storefront, create different hair styles, etc etc. And almost always, I sketch from a copy of what I find on the internet. I know many artists who paint from photographs, which is pretty much what I'm doing. I put my own spin on it, but for sure this scene already exists.  

I should add that as of today, I'm already 21 days behind. That's fine, because my Turtle Therapy way of doing things says that I won't let something I love become a chore. So I'm taking my time doodling. I'll finish by the end of the year, but at my own pace!

Love kj

Changes

We didn't expect our new light fixture to cast a magical shadow on the ceiling. In the dark of night, it feels like Disneyland. 

JB and I are redecorating. New living room chairs, new rug, new dining room set. It seems that we do this every decade or so, and we have the slowest and best time making decisions and trying to pull together a cohesive presentation. We finally chose chairs, to be delivered soon, and we're pulling back our old dining table from JB studio to create a rustic-coastal look, whatever that is!

People say our space is cozy and comfortable. That's exactly the look I want. That's exactly how I want to view my life. I'm old enough to know that's not always possible, but when I get a run of easy living, I'll grab it with gratitude.

Which is where I am now, two years after two years of challenges and family hospice (not us) and weekly long distance travel and orthopedic hassles (me.) But finally, life is settling down. I'm writing and drawing and planning a garden. My family is wonderful. JB is having a hip replacement next week, but we're confident it will go well. Spring and summer await on Cape Cod. 

I should add that the climate is giving the inhabitants of Earth a frighteningly rough time, and it's our fault for ignoring the signs and warnings. The wind howled here all last night and there are concerns for coastal flooding. The earth is justifiably furious. Will we learn? Is there time to correct this?

I should also add that the political climate in the USA and worldwide is also dangerous. I couldn't ignore that even if I wanted to. But today, I'm just glad my daily life has settled down. So I'm leaving it at that. 

love kj

 

Emily Rabbit & Easter

 Well! Here I am on almost Bunny Day, which kj said I shouldn’t say, because she said Easter is about something very serious, and religious even, but  I can't help it. All I can think about are:

1. Solid Chocolate eggs
2. Carrots dipped in chocolate
3. One giant chocolate rabbit wearing overalls and a pink hat with a flower
4. Mutilcolored Jellybeans
5. Marshmellow chickens
6. Grape lollipops

 

I hope if you celebrate Easter that you are thinking like I am, and not ignoring the benefit of M&M's and Cadbury cream eggs and Reeces peanut butter cups, if you want be nice to yourself or to somebody who would smile if you gave them one. 

If you don't like sweets (that is very sad), you could dig up a plant in someone’s yard and maybe put it in your own pot and maybe even give the plant to someone nice or someone you want to be nice.

 

I really cannot concentrate on anything right now except candy and jellies and lollipops. I hope you are smart enough to know what your priorities are like I do so you will not waste your time  worrying or working too hard.

Happy Easter from Emily R.

 I'm still doodling. This is my view from the couch. For some reason, my favorite views are through windows or doorways or secret passages. I recently read a book about past lives, and that often gets me thinking about how thin the line is between here and there. I wonder if there's a reason why I've always  liked looking through and beyond. Heck, I wonder if there's a reason why it's so much easier for me to be sedentary than it is for me to hike or walk in the woods or exercise just because. 

My knee rehab requires that I take walks and complete a set of exercises daily. Sometimes I don't, but usually I do. But rarely with enthusiasm! My good friends across the street are out at 6:30 am, in the rain, slugging through the sand dunes here in Provincetown. Their dog Basil is the lucky recipient of amazing free runs, chasing after seals (and always failing, thankfully) and running up and down sandy hills. Our poor Mattie, on the other hand, sits on the couch with me, as patiently as she can muster, until JB scoops her up for their daily walk. Soon, JB will have a hip replacement and I will be (have to be) mobile enough on my own to take over the walks. This is not something to complain about: Provincetown is a gorgeous spit of land, surrounding by the bay and ocean. The bay and beach is barely a block away from our home, and the sky and sunsets and low tides, with all its ripples, is magnificent.

These days my passion is back for writing, and I'm s-l-o-w-l-y learning techniques to improve my drawings. This is all couch work, which doesn't help my activity level, but does give me a cozy sense of contentment.

The last days have been an auspicious week, at least I think so. For the first time in TWO YEARS, my days have felt 'normal.'No crisises, no one to worry about, no long traveling, no challenges. My god mother Marie fell at home two years ago, and then my cousin Maureen got her terminal diagnosis, and from there JB and I have had our hands full. But now, it looks like we may have really, truly turned the corner. 

It's March, the days are longer and warmer, and my miniature irises have broken through the ground. My daughter Jess and my grandkids and my friends and family are well. Along with JB, I'm soon to be rewarded with a mini-vacation at a fancy hotel. A heated pool. A massage. Four star food. 

No complaints. Not today. I wish the same for you xoxo

love kj

February

 This winter I've been editing three books, thinking about another, and dabbling in drawing. Since it's just about the end of February here on Cape Cod, I'm also thinking about our small garden and when and what to plant. These are all things I love to do. 

The writing and editing is the hardest. And the VERY hardest is querying agents and publishers to see if they (one!) may be interested in my submission. The query is as important as the manuscript itself. It has to be impactful, well written, and concise. It has to be a page or less. It's a discouraging project, and the odds of being 'picked up' are tiny. But, I'm determined to test the market. If that doesn't work, I'll again self-publish, and that's okay too.

This drawing reflects the mountain village in Italy where my grandfather was born and raised. I've had various feedback about what to do with the foliage and shrubs. Some folks like it as is; others, including me, think it blobs of green are too flat and blah. This drawing is on page 32 of a book that gives me a creative prompt for all 365 days of the year. I'm psyched to complete it! It will be a surprise Christmas present for my daughter, Jessica.

Sometimes I'm not sure I'm spending my time wisely. These are all activities I enjoy, a lot, and why I judge whether or not they're worthwhile is beyond me....

love kj

Hello!

 I've breezed through summer, and fall, and Christmas, punctuated by the challenging homecare and sad death of my 106 year old Godmother Marie, and a new knee operation that's had too many complications. I haven't written a new word until this week, and hopefully, finally, I'm back!  

I have a novel to edit and query, a poetry book to promote, a revised version of The Light Stays On to land somewhere, and all kinds of new ideas to ponder and write about. That's one important thing about writing: there's no need for boredom. I can always write. 

This year, probably because I've been on the couch and in physical therapy rehabilitating my knee, I've also started drawing and painting. I have this book called Draw & Create 365 that instructs me to create something every day in 2024, and I'm having a grand time doing that so far.

I chose this image today because the USA and the world is such a mess.  It's a challenge to be optimistic in this time, but it's important to hope for and work for kindness, hope, community. Almost every single person I know is a good human being: that has to count,.

I yet again apologize for being absent on my blog for so long. I'm still determined to do better!

With love, kj