Well, this is not entirely true. I love fancy meals and I'll spend my last dime on books and anything for the garden. But the last year has been one of paring down: clothes, thoughts, priorities, possessions. I want a mind without clutter and a heart with plenty of room.
So it is that JB and I have sold our house and three weeks ago moved into a smaller version inside and out. By the sea. At the land's end. To a peninsula with 20.000 summer people and maybe 700 winter people. This is a place where I will finish my second novel and hope it's as fine as I think it might be.
And JB has her own studio 'downtown,' at Whaler's Wharf. Here's her collage work on metal. She's talented. Not yet confident, but talented.
Here it is! This is low tide a block from our house. Provincetown Massachusetts, at the tip of Cape Cod, home to crabs and seagulls and cormorants and seals and whales sharks and shells and wavy sand. And now home to us too.
This is a typical view when strolling along Commercial Street, a three mile main street from the east end to the west end. It's so calm, walking along and seeing this. Can you tell?
And these are the Flower Cottages, one after another, booked by returning families years in advance. Tiny. Simple. Charming.
This is how I want to approach life and this is how I want to feel most of the time. It's not how I feel now but I'm facing that there are reasons for that. Transitions take time.
One huge transition: my Mom died. She somehow managed to tell us--one by one-- that she loved us and she died with the same grace and dignity that filled her life. I won't stop missing her. I love you, Mom.
Provincetown is known for the amazing way light bounces off the water. I doubt this photo has been photoshopped. There are times when the sky and bay look exactly like this. I've seen it.
And OMG. Gay marriage became the law of the land. In my lifetime! I used to stutter over the use of pronouns: not daring to say 'she' when 'she' was the right word. No more. Still need to be vigilant and aware of safety in many parts of the world, but legal equality and public affirmation feels AWESOME.
For what I hope will continue for years ahead, my daughter and family come to the Cape each summer for a week's vacation. This was the summer that baby Reese became a toddler and not-so-brave Logan stopped being afraid of the pool. Enlarge this shot of him, please. His joy is so darling.
How about this bay view at lunch? Ross' Grill. Terrific.
And finally, two boxes of books are unpacked and have a home. Early mornings I find myself sitting on the futon in the little blue room and just staring at them. I don't know why but I find contentment in these books.
There. That's what I'm up to. They'll be more photos coming and more about life on Cape Cod. And life with four wild and wonderful grand kids. And life as a writer and a counselor and wouldn't it be nice if I took up kayaking? And watched a storm heading in over the bay in December? And wouldn't it be nice if I could just take a breath and settle down? Not yet. I'm here and it's nice and surely that will be enough. Soon I hope. Once I calm down and settle in. :^)
love
kj
I am totally in love with these pictures. So happy for you and think you are truly inspiring women.
ReplyDeletewhy thank you, lydia :^) the feeling is mutual
Deletelove
kj
I love the blue room and the collage work...it must be wonderful to be in a place that inspires your creativity. I attended an artists reception at a gallery last evening and had the pleasure of meeting a woman in her studio space where she explained her work with etching and wood cuts. While I am not an artist, I appreciate being able to look at and hear about their work. This woman had also taught art and music to kids.
ReplyDeleteI was with a friend, whom I'm discovering is a bit of a social neanderthal...We went to dinner and she was staring at a same sex couple with a kid who were obviously a family and waiting for friends to join them. One of the women asked her if they were bothering her, and she claimed to be just staring into space and after some small talk, when their friends arrived, they moved outside...
Later, my friend told me she thought one of them looked like a man and asked which one was the man in the couple...I was astounded but told her that they were women and no-one was the man, they were partners or spouses...I am still uncomfortable about this because it shows so much ignorance on her part...She is in her mid-sixties and I am a decade younger and don't usually hear this kind of thing from other friends. It just threw me. I should probably write my own post...sorry for rattling on.
hello e, well, sometimes one of the same sex women might be the "man," role wise. and other times, with other couples, they decide and genetics decides who's who.
Deleteit can get complicated, but it's usually not. :^)
love
kj
None of the women couples I've ever known were into roles like that though I have met elderly women who were, by both appearance and manner and it never bothered me. I certainly did not stare at them, nor make them so uncomfortable that they fled at the earliest opportunity, which she did. These women were simply short-haired and in shorts and out with a small child waiting for a friend with a child. When my friend admitted she was looking at them trying to work out who the man might be, I told her that it was just two women as a couple out with a kid and not to get overly concerned. She was actually caught staring when one of the women asked if they were bothering her. My friend then said she was staring into space and proceeded to announce that I and a member of the couple looked alike, which was't true at all...The whole thing was awkward and a bit embarrassing for me, though I tried to help her understand that nowadays most women do not adhere strictly by appearance to the roles she was describing.
DeleteAny clams in those mudflats? Time to make some real Choudah! Ya know kj what is persistent on my mind whenever i think of you and JB and your new spot at the end of the world is the exposure to the North Atlantic a mistress i was once intimate with and i found her able to go from calm to raging in a blink.
ReplyDeleteAh yes the reddish light on the shore--the prism effect of a somewhat cleaner atmosphere over the ocean.
ah mark your mistress and that metaphor (is it a metaphor? and if not, what the heck is it called?) is so descriptive and excellent i can see it…
DeleteI'm looking forward to standing in front of the sea in storms. but i have to push myself to do it and i hope i will .
sign of a cleaner atmosphere? good to know.
love
kj
Guaranteed where you're at when the surf is up, really up, you'll know it and not be fool enough to go near it. Howling winds driving breakers that'd knock you off your feet. Better a cup of tea and a window view
DeleteThe photos are lovely and yes, the look on Logan's face is wonderful. The light looks amazing. Shall have to put the Cape on my "to see" list. It keeps growing.
ReplyDeletehi deb, what's first and second on that list? inquiring minds want to know.
Deletethe outer cape here is indeed a place of beauty…
love
kj
DeLovely. All of it.
ReplyDeletethank you ms. deborahkisskiss,
Deletedid you know i call you that? is that okay? i like it….
love
kj
Oh, you will love living by the sea.
ReplyDeletei hope so and i think so, rosaria. but i have to get moving more, get out more. i can be pretty sedentary and of course, writing offers a good sedentary reason.:^) but i think it will be good to be near the sea. the truth is my daughter and her family are now 2.5 hours away instead of 1 and 3/4 hours and i don't like that. it means i can't be day-to-day. honestly i haven't figured out if that's okay, and i don't think my daughter has either…
Deletelove
kj
First of all....I love visiting you...I always feel refreshed after I do. Secondly,I love JB's collage work. Thirdly,I want to jump into every photo.Can I? please? Love that rainbow selfie too! ( :
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about your Mom.Sending you a big squeezy hug friend.
Thankful to know you.xo
hello cat! what a nice welcomed comment--thank you! thankful to know you too. it may not be apparent sometimes, but i follow your successes with a smile on my face… :^)
Deletelove
kj
Hi KJ. Thanks for reminding me about blogs. love your postings. and wow to all the changes that you have gone through recently. Some intentional, some not. Your dear Mom remains in all our memories. You too are a strong woman, with so many talents. Take your time settling in. It's okay. LOve, Suki
ReplyDeleteCome back, Suki, come back 😊
ReplyDeleteI think I start a reliable writing schedule next week. I like that
Love
kj
Once you’ve calmed down. . . . . .
ReplyDeleteDon’t, not too much anyway. While life is as exciting as it is now you won’t have time to worry about anything, but live in the moment and enjoy whatever comes, kids and all.
friko, i do best with a potion of calm and daring. i push for change even though i don't like change. this move, however, has been a surprise because of how exhausting it's been and and how depleted i became.
Deleteevery day is improving. i am insular and will probably stay this way until i can peer my daring eyes outside my own skin :^)
love
kj
Kj, I LOVE your beautiful new home and I envy the hell out of you because I miss the ocean so much. Glad you are moved and settling in...xoxo
ReplyDeletehi annie, your painting hangs in the kitchen here. it is the ocean inside the kitchen! thanks for your envious words. makes me feel lucky
Deletelove
kj