Another 'And Yet'.....

I have been noticing something very definite.

I smile alot at people. I smile in my car when I am at stop signs, and in restaurants and in elevators. I'm beginning to think I do it instinctively.
And here's the notice part: I'd say 95% of the time people smile back at me. Not tight little formal smiles, but real ones.

This gives me great hope.

There is reason in the world to feel heavy, be wary, hold back.

I struggle with that general malaise as well my own ups and downs, one even that still tosses me into sadness from time to time.

I have chores and demands and piles of paper that need something done.

And yet.

This weekend I got up at 5:45 Sunday morning with a little boy who sipped his milk while I sipped my coffee and we huddled together in our chairs and soft fleece blankets and read the story of five little monkeys who sold a clunky car to not very bright clunky alligators.

This weekend I also watched my daughter and my Mother sit beside one another on a twin bed and look at photos of their lives. They both have green eyes and great humor and and I see how they look at one another with such love.

And,

This weekend I took the train to New York City and I met a special friend (sf). We relax and gallivant and laugh and tell and share and find and understand. We are so easy and comfortable together and I always think 'lucky me.'

Photo of the Carrizo Plain before but also with embellishment by
http://loritimesfive.blogspot.com sf Lori Graham

On Thursday JB and I will move back into Provincetown after five years of renting our little place out. We'll be driving back and forth most weeks, after working for several days, no small drive, but much of my summer will include ocean breezes and the salt of the sea. I don't know what to expect except I think it will be wonderful to create and settle into a beachy place again. Every wall is a low gloss white, no space will be cluttered, and I will be one block from the bay and a small beach where I'm prone to dream and ponder and sometimes scheme.

.

These are thankful times for me. I'm glad I know. I can't say I don't struggle--sometimes for real reasons and sometimes for none at all, but there are times now when I think I just about have it right.

Love

kj