Bittersweet

I love blogging, but there's one thing that I'm often unsure how to reconcile. In my day-to-day life , my friends and family have signs (my expression, my demeanor, my voice) that reflect how things are going with me. In blogland, it is all to easy to create a air of contentment (or gratitude, perfection, frivolity) even when that is not the case. I know we all do it, and even in real time it's not easy to be vulnerable when you are vulnerable (or sad or down or lost).

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Why am I saying this? Probably because my Thanksgiving was bitter-sweet, and I can't say I'm doing much better since. For me it's not unusual that wishes and hopes outpace reality during the holiday season, but I'm also dealing with a sadness that won't be shaken off any time soon. I know change and loss is part of life, but sometimes, and this is one of them, I don't know how to comfort myself. Enough said: I know my blog friends and visitors well enough to know that I am not alone in admitting that sometimes things go well, sometimes they don't.

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Still, certain joyful aspects do not escape me as I head into the holidays. For example:

I love the way the light shines on my house.

I love having Mr. Ryan in my life.

I made an apple pie, and it was good.

JB and I made my mother's recipe for homemade raviolis, and they were awesome....

Topped of course with my Italian father's home made spaghetti sauce.

I'm grateful for my fruit basket.


And the fact that I know how to cook a turkey!

I have a lot to be grateful for. I know that.

Most of the time....