Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Another 'And Yet'.....

I have been noticing something very definite.

I smile alot at people. I smile in my car when I am at stop signs, and in restaurants and in elevators. I'm beginning to think I do it instinctively.
And here's the notice part: I'd say 95% of the time people smile back at me. Not tight little formal smiles, but real ones.

This gives me great hope.

There is reason in the world to feel heavy, be wary, hold back.

I struggle with that general malaise as well my own ups and downs, one even that still tosses me into sadness from time to time.

I have chores and demands and piles of paper that need something done.

And yet.

This weekend I got up at 5:45 Sunday morning with a little boy who sipped his milk while I sipped my coffee and we huddled together in our chairs and soft fleece blankets and read the story of five little monkeys who sold a clunky car to not very bright clunky alligators.

This weekend I also watched my daughter and my Mother sit beside one another on a twin bed and look at photos of their lives. They both have green eyes and great humor and and I see how they look at one another with such love.


This weekend I took the train to New York City and I met a special friend (sf). We relax and gallivant and laugh and tell and share and find and understand. We are so easy and comfortable together and I always think 'lucky me.'
Photo of the Carrizo Plain before but also with embellishment by
http://loritimesfive.blogspot.com sf Lori Graham

On Thursday JB and I will move back into Provincetown after five years of renting our little place out. We'll be driving back and forth most weeks, after working for several days, no small drive, but much of my summer will include ocean breezes and the salt of the sea. I don't know what to expect except I think it will be wonderful to create and settle into a beachy place again. Every wall is a low gloss white, no space will be cluttered, and I will be one block from the bay and a small beach where I'm prone to dream and ponder and sometimes scheme.

These are thankful times for me. I'm glad I know. I can't say I don't struggle--sometimes for real reasons and sometimes for none at all, but there are times now when I think I just about have it right.




  1. Oh yes, it is absolutely fun to try out the smile-treatment. It is just like greeting people in the street. This is quite normal for me (living in a very small village) but for people living in cities it is not that normal. Just see the surprise on their faces when you say hello hahahaha...

  2. not everyone knows that or connects with people that way, wieneke. i'm glad you do. and i agree with you: small towns make the connections easier. me: i work in an urban city, sometimes unsafe and violent, and i can say it works there too. the bottom line is i think we need and welcome one another when given the chance

  3. I too smile alot - without thinking about it....and it helps with getting thru daily life.


  4. I'm a 'hi' person. I say hi to people when I pass them on the street. I can't say if I'm a smiler. Do I initiate the smile? I'm not sure - lol! I definitely will smile back at someone if they smile at me. My kids have always been embarrassed by the fact that I talk to strangers in the grocery line. WHATEVER. hahaha! You keep smiling. Sounds like you have a lot to smile about. I am just trying to remember to say hi and smile back. :))) xox Pam

  5. Provincetown sounds like heaven to me! It's almost Thursday!!!!

    When I moved out into the bush, I moved from a rather thickly populated area. Very few people smiled or waved at me. Here, I might meet one or two people on the road when I've gone for a walk. But everybody here will wave or say hi, whether they know me or not. It's the country way, I think.

    The smile/wave definitely feels cheery...I love it!

  6. Sounds to me like you have found your balance kj. RE your question about the worth of a human life--according to the latest government actuarial tables it is about 1.7 million dollars if lived to an average age of 73. The cost though is about 48 cents if a gun is used.

  7. oh how cute!! I love what you did with the card, it looks like dorothy going to oz.

    i am glad there are so many things making you smile, and the things that don't, well, i wouldn't give them any more thought than they need.

    keep sharing your smile kj, it's a gift to yourself as well as to everyone that experiences it. (when you don't feel like smiling, just remember running for taxis in the rain, that is funny now! hee hee! It was wonderful to see you in nyc!)

    have an astonishing time in ptown.

  8. First: Love the new header photo!
    Second: Keep smiling~~it makes them all wonder what you've been up to! >:-D
    Third: The ebb and flow of the tides of life are what we all deal with. Sometimes they are little ones that lap your feet, others are rip-tides that can knock us flat. Friends usually are the ones who help us back up.
    I find the older I get, the less those tides affect me....I know what my path is and I just tell the rip tides to GET LOST.
    In a most impolite tone....haha!
    Here's to a beautiful time by the bay....


  9. Hmm, you could be speaking for me for most of this.
    I smile on my walks every day and each time someone passes I say "good morning." Most answer in kind, some just nod.
    When we were in my favorite little town in Canada (Merrickville) a couple were working in their garden. We were driving slowly and they started waving at us, so we backed up and pulled over with the window rolled down.
    The guy says, "We're just waving because we're friendly!" That's all, they didn't want anything except to say hello. So refreshing!

    Aaah, Ptown! I'll probably see you there, perhaps more than once. The only thing stopping me is if a job lands in my lap. Now that would be a GOOD thing.

    And yay you for taking yourself to the big city to meet a special lady! I can just hear you both giggling while running in the rain.

    Life is good.


  10. mim, i can verify your smile. it is awesome and authentic. i'm so glad we're related :^)

    pam, do you know what a treasure you are? your mix of humility and humor floors me. ♥

    marion, the small town part makes sense, but i am often a strange face in a strange land. i'm convinced we WANT to smile! ♥

    mark, hahahaheeha! you are so damn clever! plus, this is interesting... xo

    sf lori, hahaha, so much is funny about us and nyc i probably have enough smiles for the rest of month. dorothy and oz: how cute!!! you know i giggled pasting on the city (a cutout from lo) and could hardly wait for you to see it!! ♥

    anne, wise wise words. i'm with you. TAKE A LONG WALK OFF A SHORT PIER!! i say, except when i can't quite muster the volume :^) xoxo

    lo, what a great story about that couple. we all need more of that, right? i am excited to see you in ptown. anytime #1 pumpkin! nyc and rain and lori and canopies of trees and of course wee olive: we had a great time. i love lori for a hundred reasons !

  11. Kj, Wonderful post. When I moved form the big city to Taos one thing I learned quick is that people smile and wave at you here, total strangers! I have learned to do so too. When I am in a city I still do it and I get some strange looks, but some people smile back :-). Oh I wish I was going to my beach house for the Summer :-).Lucky duck. xoxo

  12. Smiling is one gift anyone can share! It is wonderful! Not as much of it goes on in the "Big Cosmopolitian Cities" these days..too many "crazies'...but, when I pick my moments - smiles are usually returned. It sure feels good to smile! The world WOULD be such a warmer, safer place if we did smile at each other!

    I have the feeling this is going to be a better Summer for us!

    Splash some of those P-town waves for me, ok?


    ♥ Cupcake ♥

  13. Smiling is sure good for both the smiler and the recipient of the smile. Have a peaceful move to Provincetown. Sounds heavenly.

  14. I smile and say hi too and it always works. It is good just to spread a little friendliness :)
    Glad you had a good time in NY.
    Want to see pictures and hear and see more ;)

    Hope we will all meet again some day.....well know we will


  15. Hey KJ,

    I can muster the volume~~~OH YEAH!!!
    Not a problem....LOL! ;-D

    Anne....bigmouth, once compared to a Marine Drill Instructor....hmmmmmmm.....yep, that's loud.

  16. I'm a waver when I drive. I can't help myself. And I say hi when I'm out walking. I think it's good to have those moments of connection.

  17. Hi kj~ I don't know anyone more adventurous than you! I wish I could be as "unstuck." And the move to Provincetown is just for the summer months, isn't it? After all the work you did at your upstate home! Do you have to take the ferry to get to Provincetown? Or is that just Martha's Vineyard? I shoud look at your lovely, sparkling, spinning globe! xxox

  18. It sounds like you're in for a beautiful summer! Enjoy!

    I always walk around with a smile on my face too (some have described it as a goofy grin)... I just can't seem to help myself!


    p.s. Of all the five little monkey books I think that one is my favorite :)

  19. annie, you quack me up.i know i am a lucky duck. :^) you have a great smile. i can still see it xoxo

    wrobin, i'll be happy to splash you! my theory is you can smile anywhere and if it's genuine it will most likely be returned inkind. and yes, wrobin, a way better summer. xoxo

    thanks suki, i am almost in disbelief that i'm headed for the cape...♥

    marianne, i took NO pictures! look to lori for her fantastic week and wee olive's adventures. yes yes yes: not even if, just when...xoxo

    anne, be my voice!@!!!! :^)

    cs, makes me grin, imagining you waving :^) (how are you doing?) (weather okay?)(oh your yard must now be awesome)xoxo

    margaret, do you need some glue remover? i can send you some :^)
    yes, the 'move' is for the summer: our main home is here in western massachusetts, but the big news is that ptown will no longer have a tenant. the place will be empty to go to yearround when desired and possible. and margaret--i know you understand--i can WRITE in ptown. the words come like soft butter. and the ferry: it is one of my best joys to walk the pier to the ferry to greet my daughter and son in law and the boys. so casual and exciting...♥

    kristin, is it that goofy grin that designs those goofy whimsy critters of yours? you are a good energy person, that's for sure! i love that that little story connects us (smile)

  20. Always smile and acknowledge someone, most times you'll get a smile or nod back. Bemused is ok too 'cause you get to smile wider back at them which just confuses them further poor dears.

    Sounds like you are in for a wonderful creative and productive summer Kj. Smiles to you*!*

  21. Sounds like you had a lovely weekend doing the important things! I don't smile much. I am not one to smile out at the world. Sometimes though...when all the planets align...

  22. bemuse me, annie! ♥

    ww, do you snarl? (i doubt it) :^)