Friendships

This is Race Point. Its elevation allows a panoramic view of the Atlantic Ocean and the Outer Cape. The sand is soft, the breeze is gentle, and today the sun was spectacular. JB, Liz and I headed here around 2:30, lying in the sun and falling asleep to that uniquely wonderful sound of distant voices nearby.

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Liz has been here since Wednesday. In many ways she is the sister I've never had. We speak honestly, bitch openly, laugh freely. I can count my closest friends on one hand and Liz is among them. I've been thinking about friendship lately. And I've been thinking about my blog friends versus my in-person friends.

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My blog relationships have changed me. Perhaps it's because we get to know one another without physical constraints, without preconceptions, without glaring idiosyncrasies, without judgements, and without demands. Whatever the reason, I find myself cherishing these relationships, and saying "I love you" more often. It's been easy to express genuine affection to my blog friends, and I'm now making the effort to let my other friends know when I feel that way about them.

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I can't even express how much many of my blog friendships mean to me. But I think it's important that I remind myself that they are not a substitution for the other friends I cherish, the friends who drop by for coffee, sit with me when I need company, hold and hug me when I need comfort, are able to look me in the eye with a twinkle grin or a suspicious concern.

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I don't want to make the mistake of believing that friendships lovingly given and accepted through blogging is enough. I need my 'real life' friends too--because there will be times when the special bonds from blogging cannot be enough, no matter how strong and loving and precious they are. My other friends, my family, the people I live among and work with and reach out to in my community matter significantly because there will be times I will want and need them here with me, breathing the same air, holding my hands, steadying my gait, both in moments of crisis and in moments of acclaim, when there will be no substitute for sharing those moments with me, in real time.

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I've been thinking about this for a while. I give myself permission to nurture my blog friendships and I want them to grow, but I also want and need to hold on to my life outside of this 3 pound laptop that connects me with special people and places I only imagined before. If any of you have opinions or ideas about how our friendships form--within and apart from blogland, I'd love to hear your thoughts.

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Meanwhile, may I show you more of Race Point, located in Provincetown, at the tip of Cape Cod, in the state of Massachusetts, one of the six New England States, in the United States of America?

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It was a beautiful day today. I'm so glad to be sharing it with my friends, some who will sit on the red couch beside me, and others in Australia and England and Canada and New Zealand and Iran and India and Malaysia and the Philippines and, most recently, one very special friend just arrived from California, now close enough now to hug.

Six Word Saturday

Glide, her heart said. Just Glide...

Provincetown: Week 2

It's the beginning of my second week in Provincetown. For the next few weeks, along with JB, I will leave my job early each Wednesday afternoon, pick up Stella , pack an overnight bag, and drive three and half hours until we reach the very tip of Cape Cod. That is Provincetown. We'll stay until Sunday, when we'll head back for another three days of work. And then, we'll head out, until we land here again, at the land's end.

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We'll have company most of the summer. This week our friend Liz is here, all of us unwinding and relaxing and laughing pretty much non-stop. We went to bed last night knowing each of us had not one thing demanding attention, requiring energy, or weighing us down. So our steps were light when we converged on the red couch this morning.

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And from there we've taken ourselves out to breakfast, shopped for sneakers, strolled through a hidden zen garden, looked at books, read the newspaper, blogged and surfed the net, fell asleep at the Herring Cove beach, shopped for fruit and ice cream, and now, we are all three back, relaxing, catching up, preparing for an unplanned night that may involve doing nothing or may lean toward joining the hustle-bustle of Commercial Street.

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I will write for two hours before I end my day. That's my promise to myself and here it is an easy promise to keep. I have also promised myself that I will end this summer having done everything I can to be happy and healthy. Happy means I cooperate with letting go of the past and the way I hoped and wanted things to be, and healthy means I keep helping my body look and feel better.

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I'm going to cry some writing this second novel. Now that I've taken a few writing courses, I understand that's to be expected. But I feel very excited and hopeful about it all. I will be summoning tenderness and balance and memory and imagination to the colors and words that await me this summer, and that means my passion's back. I was afraid I'd lost it, that I wouldn't get it back. But today, still on this red couch, with JB on the patio reading the Boston Globe, Stella resting after a walk around the block, and Liz teaching herself how to upload her photos, I think that passion within me is ready for another chance. I'm so damn glad.

Animal Wednesday: Emily Guru

Hello everyone, it's me Emily. This week I thought I would give you advice to help you have a good summer and stay out of trouble, at least as much as you can.

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In general rabbits are a lot easier-going than people. Even though I am little this is what I think you should do 99% of the time:

1. Keep your tail up and never sit on it, even when you can't help it: If you have to tie your tail so it stays up, put on a headband and tie it that way. You just don't want to be walking around with your tail between your legs or sitting on it because that tells the world you aren't confident and you get your way more if people think you are confident.

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2. Cry at a normal volume but keep crying louder and louder until you are at least heard. kj says you don't need someone to agree with you but you need to know they hear you. And it's true: I always feel better after I spout off even if I have to cry about it too.

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3. Don't be a wimp: This is the same as not sitting on your tail. For example, when kj's friend told her she was needy and selfish, kj told her she was being mean and sounded heartless. Then her friend laughed and said to her, "I've been told that before." HELLO kj! HELLO! Tell her she is mean again and take off. You can be nice again if things get better but if not just stop caring about it.

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4. If you have to fight, kick as hard as you can the first time. One hard kick is 100% better than 12 little kicks.

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5. Bend Bend Bend like a tree. Even little me who likes to get her way most of the time knows that a lot of times it's better to bend than to hold on and lose. For example, when I got arrested and it was not my fault, kj was mad about having to post bail for me but that was not my fault either so I wanted to complain to kj and tell her to stop being mad at me about the money but I didn't dare because after all she did bail me out and she is nice to me sometimes, so I was very nice and just smiled sweetly. That is an example of bending.

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6. Try to have a best friend who is nice like Marianne but don't pick someone who has had a lot of best friends already because for example that probably means they will go through best friends like I go through bikini bottoms (sometimes they fall off in the ocean when I'm bobbing and they float away.) And it's not the best idea to have a best friend who doesn't stay your best friend because what kind of a best friend would stop being your best friend anyway, right?

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7. If you happen to be grouchy or worse, do it with someone who will be nice to you anyway. Tell them then they can be grouchy or worse when they are in a jam and you will be nice to them back.

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8. If you can't stop feeling sad, eat four dozen jellybeans and roll down a hill three times. That is guaranteed to take your mind off your feeling sad and turn it to your weird feeling stomach instead.

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9. If you have choice between being nice or mean, be nice. But if you have to choose between being happy or sad, be happy every time even if you have to stomp your feet, cry from your stomach, or even steal a radish or two.

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If you have any suggestions to add to this list, I don't mind if you do.

Sincerely Yours,

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Emily Rabbit

Provincetown: Mary Oliver and Wild Geese

UPDATE: I've highlighted the words suggested for omission, including two of my own. I want to know the real one!!

I've posted the following poem by Mary Oliver before. It's one of my favorites and one of her best. But here's something that may interest you about it:

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Mary Oliver lives in Provincetown. This summer she was interviewed by Provincetown Arts, a gorgeous annual magazine that features the many talented artists in town. She was asked about this very famous poem of hers--if she would change anything about it if she were writing it today.

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Her reply was one word. She said she would leave out one word. Then she smiled and challenged her readers to guess what that word is.

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I don't know the answer either so I can't offer more than the interesting challenge of taking a look.

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Fellow artists and poets and writers and painters and otherwise creative souls: what word do you think she would leave out?

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Wild Geese - Mary Oliver.

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You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.

Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are movin across the landscapes,

over the praries and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clear blue air,

are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers you imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting-

over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

Love, Love, and More Love

As usual, Mr. Ryan has his priorities straight....

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Here's wishing you a smile or two today.

Provincetown: Nightlight Day 4

The sun was out today, and so were JB and kj. We had a slow motion breakfast on the little patio outside our kitchen door, rode our bikes (no small feat after 30 years of not riding--I wobbled my way along), ate lunch outside on Commercial Street savoring the hustle-bustle, went to the beach (oh dear god, thank you, I love the beach), took Stella for a walk, brought back a take out pizza (no cooking for us today), and then, then: headed three blocks to the Fireworks.

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Fireworks in Ptown are fantastic for one thing because they are shot from a boat on the bay, so the bay is the backdrop and it is all quite beautiful. And the moonlight tonight:

(Where did this guy come from? He absolutely wasn't in my shot. Part of his head is missing. How spooky...)

It was a good day. I love it here. Sunday afternoon we'll be headed back "home" for a few days of work, but we'll be back here again Wednesday night. Lucky lucky me.

Six Word Saturday: Happy Birthday Best Friend

Happy Birthday to my BestFriend Marianne

It's me, Emily.
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Marianne is the best friend. She always says nice things, she encourages me to play, she doesn't mind when I cry, she doesn't tattle tale, she is an artist, she is generous, she understands the importance of jellybeans and temper tantrums, she is reliable, she calls me dear and I like that, she is loyal, and no matter who else is nice to her, I know I will be her best friend and she will be my best friend for life and I like that because then I can relax and not worry about things not turning out okay.
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Please do me a favor and stop by Marianne's blog www.mandarianne.blogspot.com and wish her a happy birthday. Even if she doesn't know you, please do this because it will be a birthday present from me if even strangers are nice to her and I will like that and she will too.
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Plus kj says she has one of the nicest looking blogs in all of blogland and I think so too.
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I kind of love Marianne. I want her to have a happy birthday and be very happy all day and all week. And maybe longer.
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Yours Truly,

. Emily V. V. Rabbit

P.S. I made 'best friends' into one word so I would only have six words instead of seven. I thought that was very smart of me to do.

Provincetown: Day 3

This is day 3 in Provincetown. I find myself unwinding and settling in to a place that is uncommonly familiar to me. This is a place where for years I have walked along the Commercial Street Bay and with JB talked of hopes and dreams and aspirations and perspirations. We've always joked about that phrase, but we've pretty much covered each category. It was here that we planned our restaurant, bought this little condo one block from the bay, launched the Provincetown Artisan Cooperative, reviewed the planning and writing of my book. It was here that our beloved dog Rosie ran and swam for hours at a time, right up until the day before she died.

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It was also here that a year ago this August, I lost my footing in a way I would not have predicted and never expected. So in a sense it's good to be back here again, knowing I am rebuilding and moving on from a very sad period and a very sad ending.

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I will be in Provincetown four days each week throughout the summer, and two plus uninterrupted weeks in August. I'll be taking pictures frequently. And I'll be writing. Today I wrote 15 pages. I stopped with a sense of accomplishment, ready to walk along Commercial Street with JB, hand in hand, catching gorgeous glimpses of the ocean tucked between the shops and buildings, appreciating the festivity of a coastal tourist town where just about anything goes. It's enough to look up and whisper 'thank you.' Which I did.

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Enough said. Here's a recap of today:

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Provincetown: Day 2

It's rained all day. But no complaints. Not one. It's beautiful here in this coastal town at the land's end. This is the deck off the bedroom, and below that is the view off the driveway:

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And this is the house. It's been divided into three condos and JB and I own the middle unit. The house was originally a Brazilian nunnery. I'm told on good faith that the nuns who lived here smoked cigars and played badminton in the back yard.
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The kitchen:

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The side yard:

The big news for Sunday:

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I'm waving at you in the rain. Can you see me?

We've Arrived: Provincetown '09

Day One

4:30-9:30 pm

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