Well here I am. I wish I had words to describe the last month or so. Maybe Whirlwind. Memories. Possessions. Houses. Photos. Exhaustion. Emotion. Love. Plenty of love.
JB and I put our house of 11 years on the market today. It made its debut today: an Open House with a good realtor who it turns out gathers an attentive audience with good food and good sangria. JB and I worked for days to clean and declutter and shine the house up and other people helped us and honest to god it looks fabulous.
And two hours away, my Mother and Father's house, on a dead end lane. It will go on the market next week, after the painters and electricians and handy people finish the repairs and upgrades. I keep thinking I will not let this house look one iota less than my Father, a mason, who built it himself, with his step-brother, would allow. There is pride in this house and it is a solid thing: you can see it in the walls. It's become old and tattered and I don't know how it will show itself in the end, but I hope I feel a certain way as soon as I set foot in it again. Tomorrow.
Memories: I can't carry or keep them all. Especially the material kind: cards, bankbooks, presents, holidays, gifts, dishes, photos that cover four generations of my family. My Mother and her 15 sisters and brothers (4 were steps-.) My daughter and her wonderful wild wise kids. JB and the places we've been.
I'm feeling all of it. It's inside a list that's averaged twenty or more things that must be done, every day. For now.Things to be Scheduled. Arranged. Reciprocated. Inspected. Appreciated.
There's the word! Appreciated. I'm looking back on my childhood and I know I had good parents, a good family.
I'm looking at my Jessica and her Mike and those kids and I just about weep joy for her.
And JB. And myself. We are headed to a strange new land we ironically, intimately know. In time we'll pack up and move here and the commotion and bustle will settle down and then I will take a deep breath, drink that delicious cup of coffee a little slower, and then I will wonder what will be next.
p.s. No complaints--who could really complain about a ride on a roller coaster?
Love
kj
You're doing the right thing here but it's all tough stuff. what to keep, what to lose - wow. When my folks moved out of a huge apartment in NYC, they sent everything to me in a giant tractor trailer so that they didn't have to make those decisions.
ReplyDeleteYou will emerge from this all with lighter hearts, I know you will. I'm going to visit you this summer come hell or high water!!!
Mim, I'm holding you to a summer visit. I miss you! And yes, these are tough decisions. The way your parents handled it cracked me up!!
DeleteLove
kj
That's all good kj, keeps you fro being bored. Then will come the day where boredom will be a blessing.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure of that, mark. I'm a good relaxer but I love to create and make ideas and things as much as I live being a non-working supervisor đŸ˜‹
DeleteYou sound happy and tired. Good luck with your sales and enjoy the seaside.
ReplyDeleteThanks deb. Tired for sure. Happy mostly . Dazed definitely :-)
DeleteLove
kj
What's next? A daily walk on the beach. Sometimes by yourself, sometimes with a loved one. Always enveloped by the love that's nurtured you and that you have nurtured. Sounds perfect to me!
ReplyDeleteThanks cyndi. That ocean air does wonders, a proven fact. I have no shortage of love; thanks for reminding me
DeleteLove
kj
Oh my, you are busy! Times like these are good for so many reasons, not the least of which is the forced pared down of possessions. We are so defined by the things we love and the things that represent those we loved. Time to look ahead to new adventures.
ReplyDeleteBoy oh boy, can I identify! I'm interested to read about the next steps. (You are inspiring me to also try to keep up with recording the moves and shifts). Thanks my friend.
ReplyDeleteBoy oh boy, can I identify! I'm interested to read about the next steps. (You are inspiring me to also try to keep up with recording the moves and shifts). Thanks my friend.
ReplyDeleteMy mother had thoroughly cleaned out her house years before she died. The attic and basement were totally empty. She had us write our names on the back of anything we wanted. She happily gave away anything that someone admired in her home. At the time I didn't appreciate how easy she had made the ending.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I am not very attached to 'things' I am very attached to 'memories' so I don't envy the work you are doing. Who could really complain about a ride on a roller coaster? Those of us who are terrified of them?
Ah, it all sounds beautiful, my friend.Onward and upward, or at least onward and to the side ;-). The best part is that you sound at peace with everything.
ReplyDeletelove ya,
Barb
Change is hard. Sending blessings that love brightly lights your new path ahead.
ReplyDeleteBlogging is the new poetry. I find it wonderful and amazing in many ways.
ReplyDelete