This is a little boy, Mr. Ryan, age 8, who put words and pictures to his life and is excited about all of it. His family, Cape Cod, sports, tacos. Travel. Video games.
My list is half different than his. In fact, in the past few months I've become well acquainted with lists. There's been compelling reasons to be overwhelmed.
BUT
I haven't.
Just so you have some context, my Mother's died, we had Christmas, I'm back to consulting work (happily so far), we renovated and rented our disaster of a condo in Rhode Island (another story), I finished 100 hours of professional online courses (had to), and we are beginning the beginning of readying to sell our house here in Western Massachusetts and move to Provincetown (big move). It hasn't stopped snowing. And I'm deep into writing my book (I love.)
I'd say that is a busy life. But funny thing is what's going on for me is inward and not centered on chores. I'm looking back and looking ahead, able to acknowledge how much right my parents did in raising me, and beginning to imagine how I want things to be for me ( and JB) (and Jess and the kids) in the months and years to come.
I am nostalgic and wistful and grateful and hopeful. Most of the time I'm present and most of the time I don't stress or worry like I used to. I've discovered that my best style is truly turtle-like, not just a metaphor. I don't mean I'm slow, because I'm not. I mean that I don't do well when I have piles of things to do and I do do well when I look at that pile and just do what will work for me at the time, hoping that little by little that will be enough. And so far it's worked. I've gotten a lot done without being buried.
I actively follow the horrible events in the Mid-East and Israel and Ferguson MO and in the lives of elephants and dolphins and lab dogs and chimps. I know that Provincetown has a huge problem with affordable housing.
And I have a garden to build. Travels to take. I have grandchildren who will go to the movies with me.
So much is pretty close to perfection, huh? Yes.
BUT
Life doesn't work that way. Just knowing that fact has prepared me to expect the best and the worse, depending, to be ready for either. If it's joy, may I put my hand out and grab it while it's flying by; and if it's despair may I know I have accumulated enough strength.
That's how I seem to be living these days. Just saying…..
Love
kj
hmmm - I sense a change in your voice. I like it. Glad to hear it. Sending love to my turtle friend (love the image)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Mim. xo to the moon and back!
Delete"Life doesn't work that way. Just knowing that fact has prepared me to expect the best and the worse, depending, to be ready for either. If it's joy, may I put my hand out and grab it while it's flying by; and if it's despair may I know I have accumulated enough strength."
ReplyDeleteI think that this is what age and experience bring. I think this is called wisdom. I'm slowly learning it as well.
Deb, I think you know enough
DeleteLove
kj
Being nostalgic and wistful and grateful and hopeful is a very good way to approach life, I think. That and child-like excitement (that smile says it all : ) It all makes for an amazing journey.
ReplyDelete8, difficult sometimes, and too, amazing
DeleteLove
kj
It's cool do what you can as you can and most importantly don't worry about any piles, unless they are from a neighbors dog. Then you have an immediate issue to deal with.
ReplyDeleteNo piles for me, mark :-)
DeleteLove
kj
Your lovely and poignant post reminded me of Yeat's Eternity poem:
ReplyDeleteHe who binds to himself a joy
Does the winged life destroy;
But he who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in eternity's sun rise.
Amanda, I love this! Thank you xo
DeleteLove
kj
I just ran across this quote and it seemed appropriate here:
ReplyDeleteNature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished - Lao Tzu
8, I love this too. Somehow this reminds me about something I read about trees: that we just accept them and don't wish or try to change who they are
DeleteLove
kj
Oh kj I have been remiss in being here and didnt realize so much had happened and is happening. I am so sorry to hear about your mother . I didnt realize you were selling your home here ... I knew you planned to but didnt realize it was now.... Im glad to hear you are catching up with the processes and also letting life just happen as it does without resistance. Take care, Ivy/Zoe
ReplyDeleteZoe, I didn't know this was you for a bit :-) not moving yet, but in due time. Thank you for your thoughtfulness. Yes, changes here. And I'm calm !
DeleteLove
kj
"if it's despair may I know I have accumulated enough strength."
ReplyDeleteYou're more self-assured than I.
In following the news, I guess you know all about the laws to protect religious people from oppression (real or imagined), but why not laws to protect atheists, we certainly need them more.
BTW, you said you were going to come back and read the posts that you read the comments to. If you haven't, I hope you will respond when you do, as I always like hearing what you have to say.
Hi snow, I owe you a reading or two :-)
DeleteLaws to protect religious people from oppression? Do you mean the happenings in Indiana and arkansas? Because that protection is as ass backwards as righteous people could make it.
I wish I had a better sense of how your rights are civilly violated . I think it's more difficult to be gay or black or Muslim
Love
kj
“I wish I had a better sense of how your rights are civilly violated . I think it's more difficult to be gay or black or Muslim”
DeleteWhen I was a teenager in Mississippi in the ‘60s, there was an endless stream of newspaper editorials denying that black people were oppressed in Mississippi, and I still don’t doubt that they were written in good faith. You’ve read the Pew Study about atheists being more hated than gays, blacks, or Moslems, and you’re read posts I’ve written about oppressionh, yet you still don’t get it. You get gay oppression because it effects you, but you’re blind to the oppression of nonbelievers, although it’s very much like the oppression of the other groups you’ve mentioned. The only advantage that atheists that have—over some groups—is that as long as they keep their mouths shut, no one will know. Small wonder that most of them keep their mouths shut.
Love,
Snow
snow, i know there is a strong and negative reaction to atheists but i was referring to civil rights violations. (police stops, court proceedings, housing rentals, job applications). these are circumstances where discrimination and profiling may be instantaneous because of appearance. i don't mean to minimize your experiences or facts, snow.
ReplyDeletei'm also aware of my own experiences, in that i have friends who are atheists and they live as they wish and aren't targeted or harmed as i know you have been.
myself, i think i'm pretty keenly aware of oppression throughout the world. i don't want any oppressed group to be arguing about who's more oppressed and i'm sorry if i've given you that impression,
love
kj
“i know there is a strong and negative reaction to atheists but i was referring to civil rights violations.”
DeleteAtheists who fight against religious oppression—which I very much doubt that your friends do—are regularly penalized in much the same way as homosexuals and blacks. To understand this fully, I would recommend a $40 subscription to Freethought Today, the newspaper of an organization that fights against religious oppression in the same way that the ACLU fights against a variety of oppressions I’m sure it’s a cause that you could in good conscience endorse, so I can assure you that your $40 won’t be spent for something of which you don’t approve. If you don’t want the newspaper for yourself, you can always donate it to your local library. Even if they will accept it, you might find it interesting to see how long it takes for it to be stolen from the shelf. I wouldn’t recommend this newspaper to you if I didn’t believe that it would open your eyes to a world that you’re sadly oblivious to, a world that you’ve expressing an interest in knowing more about. If you don’t to subscribe, I can at least send you a few back issues.
Love, Snow
Thanks, snow. Each of us has certain areas where we give our energy. My support is abundant but my energy isn't. I'm passing on this but I hope you know I wish you everything good.
ReplyDeleteLove
kj
Expect the best but prepare for the worst but never give up hope EVER.
ReplyDeleteWishing the best for you always.
Thanks Kay xo
DeleteSnow, I deleted your comment. I wasn't comfortable with publishing your expectations and criticisms of me. I think we've tried our best and we've exhausted the currency of mutual respect. I wish you well, but please, no more. Best wishes always, kj
ReplyDelete