Momentous Mish Mash

.
.

This weekend is JB's birthday. This is a time when she is happy to indulge herself and knowing that I try to indulge her too. I bought some flowers, a cake, a few presents and ingredients for her favorite dinner (New York strip steak, a baked potato with sour cream, asparagus and red wine). It's been a relaxing day, driving in challenging weather with no complaints and no problems.

.

.

.

.

I shopped for the best food today. I love grocery shopping. Makes me feel secure and thankful.

.

No snow storms today, but it rained. The temperature is below freezing.

.

ICE.....

.

Plenty of worrisome ice. Look at my neighbor's house:

.
.

.

.

Hard to believe. This is not a common sight.

.

But this week, icicles are everywhere.
.

.

.
.

I've been comtemplative this week.

.

.

After my lazy reluctance to return to work, it was all good. I love my work: I am so glad of that because it makes such a difference in how I view myself and my life.

.

.

A while back I had a conflict with a work colleague. He was unable to sympathize or help me when I encountered multiple computer problems with my agency's software and I couldn't get the required reports done. I was in tears from the frustration and instead of support, he blamed me for not being more computer savvy.

.

.

I will work at the relationships that matter to me, but he and I were mostly co-workers and barely casual friends so in the aftermath I chose to pretty much ignore him. I was cordial, but made no effort to seek him out.

.

.

This week I sent him an email asking a work question. He wrote back and answered it, but he also wrote that I was giving him the cold shoulder, why the change?

.

.

I told him I had been hurt and disappointed by how he handled the computer problem with me. I said if he wanted to talk about it I would be willing to do that.

.

He emailed me again, this time blasting me for wanting him to do my job for me. His words were defensive and angry and I let them go.

.

.

It wasn't that important to me. But the more I thought about it, I don't need to be right. I don't need to let conflict fester. So I walked in his office. He greeted me immediately. I told him I knew emailing back and forth was not the best thing and asked if he would like to make some time to clear the air. He readily agreed. I could tell he was relieved.

.

.

Two years ago this month the end was spinning wildly with the most difficult conflict I've ever had with someone I cared about. Resolution has not been possible. If forgiveness is to happen, it will probably happen without acknowledgement. That makes me sad. But I know I won't hold on to the negatives. It's harder for me to choose to care and not to blame or defend, but I know that is the best way for me. No face to face resolution, but who am I to say? Maybe the blessings that got overlooked find a way to hover safely in the sky that unites.

.
.

.

.

I leave you today with mish mash images of JB's weekend birthday. Happy happy birthday, JB Ms. Petunia. Here's wishing you at least fifty more.

.
.

.

.

Oh, one more thing. You know that question: would you rather be right or would you rather be happy?

.

.

Honestly, I think the answer is a no-brainer. Love the people you love whether they are here or there. Love yourself. This is what I know today and I'm passing it on just in case you may have forgotten.

.

love

kj