Tuesday, January 16, 2007

The Truth Believed.....

The truth believed is a lie.

My friend Jackie said this as she's telling me about leaving her purse on a New York City train. She realized her mistake within minutes and ran down an up escalator to reach the train before it left the station. But her purse was gone.

This was a special weekend for her: it was the first time in a year she had two days to herself since her husband sustained a head injury that impaired his judgment and left him, permanently, unable to be alone. She was in the City with a friend, emotionally hungry and ready to experience 48 hours without responsibility. Her purse, her credit cards, and her $ 300 in cash, were gone.

Jackie told me this: “I refused to accept my purse was gone. I had too much at stake. I had looked forward to this weekend for months. They told me to cancel my credit cards but I said, ‘no, why should I complicate everything when I know I will get my purse back?' ”

And sure enough, Jackie was walking the sidewalks of New York City when her boss called her from West Chester PA. Her purse had been found. It was being held by a conductor who agreed to meet her back on the train track. He refused to accept the fifty dollars she wanted to give him in gratitude.

Then Jackie says to me, “The truth believed is a lie”.

I am stopped cold. “Jackie” I say, “What does that mean?"

She is quick to answer. “It’s one of my favorite sayings. It means don’t abuse your personal power. The universe will kick in for you, like it did for my purse, but it doesn’t appreciate you taking advantage.”

“Like what, Jackie?” I ask

“Like being dishonest strictly for your own benefit, or taking people or things for granted, or re-inventing the truth to how you want it to be instead of what it is. For example, I may want you to be a certain way because I think I’m right. But when I’m so strict about what is true and right I make it all wrong. You probably have your own way of seeing things. I’m taking this course on prosperity and I’ve discovered how meticulous I am in making double payments to pay off my car loan but at the same time I’m buying things on my credit card. I’m attentive and conscious on one hand and careless and thoughtless on the other.”

"Jackie", I say, "This sounds like one of my favorite sayings: 'Trust in God but tie up your camel'”

"Exactly!" Jackie exclaims. "The truth believed is a lie."

I hang up the phone and put my hand to my head. That is a sure sign that Jackie has said something important to me tonight.

Would my purse have been returned to me because I believed in my power to manifest that without abusing that power? Do I really believe the universe will be there for me when I need it most? And do I deserve abundance in any form because I do my best to be an honorable responsible person? Am I an honorable and responsible person—do my actions make sure that I protect you as well as myself from being harmed? And if I am an honorable responsible person, can I let go of the steering wheel and let faith and fate take over?

These are my questions as 2007 begins its unfolding. My path is not clear. I am grounded to a base of love and I believe in prosperity, abundance, faith, and fate. I know that much. But tonight, as I hang up the phone from my friend who has just finished a year from hell and tells me she is “determined that 2007 will be a good year”, I wonder what I believe? Do I trust in God? Have I tied up my camel? Have I secured my house and bank account? Do I understand that when I cling to a “truth”, even when I am sure it is “right”, it may work for me but not for you?

Can I, kj in 2007, be both attentive and conscious in my precious life? Can I be both judicious and expansive with the love I give and the love I gratefully receive? Can I trust and attend at the same time?

I’m walking forward, knowing better than to piss off the universe for petty reasons, and deep down I pray I understand that the truth believed is a lie.....


  1. Wow. What kind of parents does/did Jackie have? Is that kind of faith grounded in something experienced or is she simply just an open-minded sort of soul? I joke that my parents gave me the 'gift' of having no expectations, but I know, secretly, that it's an emotional handicap. I want to be like Jackie.

  2. andrea, jackie has had a three years of seeing her husband and their dreams together evaporate into dependent personality changing brain damage. she has every reason to lose faith. instead, she has taken courses and concrete steps to live with conscious awareness and faith. i've watched her be transformed....i want to be like jackie too....

  3. Jackie is an amazing woman. Just having half her strength would be enough for me.

    I think there is a lot of truth to what Jackie believes. A very good friend of mine believes that if you want something badly enough and have good intentions, then the universe will conspire to give you what you want. It's similar to what Jackie says.

    I was pleasantly surprised to read your post today about this because last night a conversation with a head hunter just led me closer to working for a company that I've wanted to join for years. And I was asking my husband if this was God's possible answer to what I said I wanted? Was this the universe conspiring?

  4. Oh my goodness, such great faith. I was born to hound like a dog. I would have been a nervous wreck if I lost my purse. I cannot wax philosophical over such absent-minded act. I admire Jackie. I cannot have a "Bahala Na" attittude. "Bahala Na" could be construed as fatalistic attittude or relying on the unversal forces. I suppose this is what enables those who live in calamitous places to survive with grace. They have very strong faith or else they would not endure yearly cycles of natural disasters with dignity.

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  6. KJ, it must be interesting eavesdropping in your conversations with some of your friends. It must be like reading a novel or philosophy book.

  7. It got posted before I could finish it..:D

    Despite every odd some people are alwaysbubbling with positivity. Jackie seems to be one of those..

    They bounce back no matther what...

  8. This is one inspiring woman and I believed every word. Thank you for sharing Jackie!

  9. Call me slow. I've got to read this a few more times.

    Isn't this just about refusing to believe what appears to be the reality, and changing that reality by believing it CAN be changed?


  10. Oh ... wow. I love this post ... it has been steeping in my head for a couple of days. Thank you for sharing this, KJ ... xo

  11. Amazing stuff. I believe in the power of words - of self-talk - that you get what you say; for example the difference between saying "I am getting a head cold" to "I am fighting off a head cold" ...

  12. 'Speaking things into existence' is something that I have not heard since my spiritual incarceration during the 80s...
    this idea of positive thinking is certainly more seductive than fatalism and there is nothing like the power of positive thinking because humans have been blessed/cursed with a brain that actually believes anything if they constantly repeat it to themselves...
    hence the term we make our own luck..that being said there are consequences for actions and thoughts and sometimes we do get lucky...
    as Solomon said in Eccls 9:11,
    "but Time and Chance happen to them all"...
    which at face value seems to fly in the face of all Calvinistic predestination theory...but I find that it is a startling admission.

  13. he, what a intelligent comment you've left. yes, the brain can be trained, but don't forget the heart and intuition etc operate indepdently, despite the physiology instruction by one talented nurse and painter with the first three initials 'ces'

    chief, melissa, menchie,willie, thank you. sometimes i'm too introspective, eh?

    ww, you are totally correct.so you're not slow, just aware.

    gautami, yes, the power of positive thinking. i've studied this and it always gets me thinking.

    ces, since you are one of my friends and we have only interesting conversations, the conclusion is obvious: my friends are interesting.

  14. This was incredible.
    You should listen to your friend more often. I mean how often do our friends really make us consider where our life is headed?

    I loved this post.

  15. Amazing. Jackie sounds like a very strong woman. It goes to show how powerful thought can be.

  16. aww, leo, thanks. you are so sweet.

    marie,the mind is trainable! that's a freeing thought.

  17. OK, but I still think I'm slow.

    I'm so slow, in fact, that I was still wondering today how many poops Ryan has had in his young life and how many diapers he's gone through.

    That thought process started last week when he was born.

    As an aside...

    I also suspect that if you compare HE's learned and philosophical comment with mine, you will see the prime difference between us...but which also makes us the best of friends.


  18. Oh, and there's a contract for you to sign over at Ces's blog on the bottom of the comments section.

  19. KJ, please tell WW I do not watch television and I am not about to get involved with an activity involving television, but I would love to spend some time with you - without HIS camera. Especially after he thinks I do the things he thinks I do at my office.

  20. KJ:

    You have to see my reality show proposal over at Ces's previous post to get what she's talking about.

    And then you both should head over to my place to see my response to what she had to say about the "show."

    It was all in fun. My camera has its len cover on. The three female assistants have been laid off.


  21. KJ, will yuo please put some photos of your cute grandson? PLease?


  22. hello em, it is so nice to hear from you! yes, i will soon put more pictures of ryan on my blog. in the meantime, i sent your mother a few new photos of him she can show you.

    i hope you are having a nice day. i heard that anyone having a birthday between now and the end of january is going to have extra good luck in her/his life. do you know anyone that might apply to?


  23. WOW what a promising story!


  24. Hello KJ, Thank you for this remarkable story. You are lucky to have a friend like Jackie. I will have to re-read what you wrote because it gives me a lot to think about. Your friend is - I think - an 'old soul'. She is strong, wise and very courageous. Sometimes you meet these people on your lifepath and you can learn a lot of them.
    Off topic: I learned from Ces that you cannot comment on my weblog. Maybe you can write the comments on the 'mailformulier'? Anyway I appreciate your trying ;-)

  25. ww, fyi: you are fired as director. the mud wrestling premise chased the two participants away. better that you just filmed our lives, which are interesting enough without gimmicks. my crush on you remains intact.


  26. What? I'm fired in absentia? You Hollywood types are all the same.

    It's all about ratings! We could only film Ces painting or cuddling her bunny so many times!

    We could only have filmed you changing Ryan's diapers or writing or hugging Ces so much!

    Besides that, we could have had stand-ins do the actual wrestling in mud.

    Oh well, back to the drawing board...I'm off to CP Adorio's to have a gander...

  27. ww! i have a hot tub under the stars! that alone would have satisfied viewer ratings. not to mention when i throw pots and pans out of frustration. and i think ces talks to herself and laughs gleefully at her own jokes. the ratings are there, ww....