The Truth Believed.....

The truth believed is a lie.

My friend Jackie said this as she's telling me about leaving her purse on a New York City train. She realized her mistake within minutes and ran down an up escalator to reach the train before it left the station. But her purse was gone.

This was a special weekend for her: it was the first time in a year she had two days to herself since her husband sustained a head injury that impaired his judgment and left him, permanently, unable to be alone. She was in the City with a friend, emotionally hungry and ready to experience 48 hours without responsibility. Her purse, her credit cards, and her $ 300 in cash, were gone.

Jackie told me this: “I refused to accept my purse was gone. I had too much at stake. I had looked forward to this weekend for months. They told me to cancel my credit cards but I said, ‘no, why should I complicate everything when I know I will get my purse back?' ”

And sure enough, Jackie was walking the sidewalks of New York City when her boss called her from West Chester PA. Her purse had been found. It was being held by a conductor who agreed to meet her back on the train track. He refused to accept the fifty dollars she wanted to give him in gratitude.

Then Jackie says to me, “The truth believed is a lie”.

I am stopped cold. “Jackie” I say, “What does that mean?"

She is quick to answer. “It’s one of my favorite sayings. It means don’t abuse your personal power. The universe will kick in for you, like it did for my purse, but it doesn’t appreciate you taking advantage.”

“Like what, Jackie?” I ask

“Like being dishonest strictly for your own benefit, or taking people or things for granted, or re-inventing the truth to how you want it to be instead of what it is. For example, I may want you to be a certain way because I think I’m right. But when I’m so strict about what is true and right I make it all wrong. You probably have your own way of seeing things. I’m taking this course on prosperity and I’ve discovered how meticulous I am in making double payments to pay off my car loan but at the same time I’m buying things on my credit card. I’m attentive and conscious on one hand and careless and thoughtless on the other.”

"Jackie", I say, "This sounds like one of my favorite sayings: 'Trust in God but tie up your camel'”

"Exactly!" Jackie exclaims. "The truth believed is a lie."

I hang up the phone and put my hand to my head. That is a sure sign that Jackie has said something important to me tonight.

Would my purse have been returned to me because I believed in my power to manifest that without abusing that power? Do I really believe the universe will be there for me when I need it most? And do I deserve abundance in any form because I do my best to be an honorable responsible person? Am I an honorable and responsible person—do my actions make sure that I protect you as well as myself from being harmed? And if I am an honorable responsible person, can I let go of the steering wheel and let faith and fate take over?

These are my questions as 2007 begins its unfolding. My path is not clear. I am grounded to a base of love and I believe in prosperity, abundance, faith, and fate. I know that much. But tonight, as I hang up the phone from my friend who has just finished a year from hell and tells me she is “determined that 2007 will be a good year”, I wonder what I believe? Do I trust in God? Have I tied up my camel? Have I secured my house and bank account? Do I understand that when I cling to a “truth”, even when I am sure it is “right”, it may work for me but not for you?

Can I, kj in 2007, be both attentive and conscious in my precious life? Can I be both judicious and expansive with the love I give and the love I gratefully receive? Can I trust and attend at the same time?

I’m walking forward, knowing better than to piss off the universe for petty reasons, and deep down I pray I understand that the truth believed is a lie.....