Wednesday, January 09, 2013

Big Deal

Hard to explain,
Harder still to make sense
Some things go wrong
Want a wing, get a fence.
World's a mess
Yes I know
I can see
What is so.
But I can't bring myself
To neglect all this shine
People and places
That make my life mine

I don't know why I find myself creating this gooey post. I could be sad about many things beyond my control. But I was carrying my apple laptop into the living room today--I get such joy from it--remembering that it took me almost a year to finally decide to buy it, and I started thinking about little deals that are big deals. 

If I died tomorrow, honest to god, I don't think I would have regrets. I'm surprised by that, and even thinking it  is one big deal.

Rotterdam Germany. I've stood here (thanks joss)
 Sedona Arizona. I've stood here too
 My parents' yard for 63 years
Back of an elementary school stage when I counseled a little boy
when Mr. Ryan was born 
 New York with my two brightest stars
Mr. Sushi (orgasm)
97 years old this week
barely a two hour trip to the city that never sleeps
breakfasts (lo! marianne! lori!)
after 100 begs,  a friend relinquishes this special box
to be able to love animals
my father's popsicle rocking chair
You must have some big deals too, yes?...



  1. ah i love the city...and would so love to visit germany...what cool houses...and i am glad you find joy in the midst, that is really great actually...and to be able to die with no regrets...i wonder how many could say that...

  2. C'mon kj you got to do better than that in the mush department. I will out depress your goo any day. hahahahahahahahahaaha

  3. Ah, I too stood in Rotterdam once! (of course, I was little and clueless, but I seem to remember it fondly)
    I find joy in the little every day things....much to be thankful for.
    And why not?
    It's better than the option of making oneself depressed (or worse yet passing that on to others).
    Warm cozy house, yarn for knitting, studio with supplies, five birds that entertain me way too much, a dear sweet Hubby.....
    Life is short so you better find the flowers and smell them when you can! :-)


  4. I would have no regrets, either. I've had a good life. And many big deals, including the two sitting near me watching "The Andromeda Strain."

  5. lovely lovely post kj. what a peaceful soothing feeling you must have had gathering these photos and thinking your thoughts. happy 97th birthday to your dear mum, i hope you have time to spend together and eat cake.
    and the first photo! love that! it's like out of a fairy tale!

  6. VERY happy 97 to your mum....and barely any regrets here - nothing worth losing sleep about

  7. Love the pictures, kj. :) You are in a good place. That makes me very happy. Happy birthday to your mom! xox

  8. I always enjoy your photos. I remember when a lot of things were made out of popsicle sticks, for instance cabins, forts, and Noah's ark.