Mr. Ryan, who will be five in January, asked his mother what he would do if she had to go to kevin.
"If you were in kevin, how would I get Drew to daycare? I can't drive the car."
Yesterday I took a Navy ID picture of my Father to show my Mother. She stared at it for some time, read his name out loud.
"Who is this?" she asked.
"It's Dad, Mom. You don't recognize him?"
"Not really. Who was his wife?"
This is the make or break point. I can cry or laugh.
I laugh. "Mom! YOU'RE his wife!"
She laughs too. We chuckle. "Of course. I should not look at things like this just after I wake up."
"What do you remember about Dad, Mom?"
"Not much. But I think we got along, didn't we?"
"Yes, Mom. You definitely did."
This thin line: it's easy to say life goes on after loss or death or both, but I am more and more convinced that time is not linear and relationships go on after death too.
"It's a poor memory that only works backwards." I don't know who said this but yes.
My Mother cannot remember my Father and her husband of 63 years, but that doesn't mean that she doesn't have an irreplaceable connection to him. He is part of who she is, part of her DNA hard wiring. He is real and alive in my Mother's life whether she can say so or not.
Another thing my Mother said this week:
"Do you remember how old you are, Mom?"
"Pretty old...am I 95?"
"I know I show it in some way, but, talking, it's still me.
"Mom, you are an amazing woman. I am so glad you live in an amazing place and that so many people adore who you are.
And Mr. Ryan, dear God, your Mother is not going to be any where near Kevin for many many many years. And just so you know, when the time comes that I'm in Kevin, I'll be looking down on your heart and back forever more.(please scroll down all the way to leave a comment. I couldn't get this photo cropped but I also couldn't resist not sharing it)