I was around 16 years old when I got my first tarot deck. My mother bought me a "James Bond" deck and put it in my Christmas stocking. I can't remember when I started using the cards in earnest, but years ago on a trip to Big Sur with my then-husband, in the gift store among petrified branches and shimmering stones and crystals, there I found the deck I would use and keep. It is an Herbal deck: each card has a specific herb or plant attached to it.
I admit I am chuckling abit as I write this post. I don't broadcast that I read these cards, and I can go months or years without much thought of them, but when it becomes known, I am often asked for readings by believers and cynics alike. There seems to be a fascination that extends past logic and reality. I rarely do a reading for someone who is not 100% attentive and receptive. And I might as well tell you I've read for company CEO's, math scholars, atheletes, and engineers--not the kind of folks you would expect to participate in this type of sage guidance.
Like a regular deck of cards, the tarot has four suits: wands, cups, coins, and swords. Each suit has ten cards and a page, knight, queen and king. Each suit reflects a certain quality. For example:
Wands: Growth, enterprise, distinction
Cups: Love, happiness, relationships
Coins: Material status, possessions, money
Swords: Conflicts, challenges, struggles
In addition to the suits, there are 21 Major Arcana Cards: each signifying a value or quality such as Strength or Justice or Temperance. Often the major Arcana cards represent states of mind: the Star for bright and hopeful outlooks, the Moon for hidden forces that may not be seen, or the Hermit, when it is best to look down on things and sort them out from a distance, alone.
So! After almost 18 months without tarot cards, I've started to read again. Here are the three cards that keep coming up for me. Two of them are Major Arcana cards: that indicates a weight and significance that I am wise to respect.
I begin with "suspended person". This is a politically correct term for "The Hanged Man". This person is upside down but not afraid and not uncomfortable. There is action occurring but it is beneath the surface. It is best to wait patiently and let events reveal themselves. Perhaps take a step backward in order to move forward. Relinquish control and realize you do not need to be uncomfortable even when you don't know what's going on.
The Ten of Wands: Wands are about growth. This person is carrying a heavy load somewhere. She/he is alone and must keep things balanced in order to keep moving. This burden might be because of too much responsibility or baggage over a relationship or work or other circumstance. But the important thing is that the person does not put the load down and does give up carrying them to their destination. It is not easy, but it is important.
Well, ok, I admit this pretty much sums up how I feel these days. Not all the time, mind you. But change tends to throw me for a loop even when I've instigated it. And no doubt my life is changing. It's true that these days I am not sure what's happening and why, and it's true I am trying to carry the somewhat heavy "wands" that I care about with care, without dropping them, and without getting depleted.
The third and last card: The World. In the tarot, this is final, 21st Major Arcana card. It is the last and most positive card in any layout. Here's the meaning in a nutshell: "You can look forward to success, whether this involves your relationship(s) or creative enterprises. You will be happy and you can make others happy too. You have gained insight and wisdom about your place in the world and you can trust your path both emotionally and physically."
My mind, perhaps like yours, is now saying "Bull!". But guess what? My mind is no more equipped or able to know the best path or possible outcome for me than is the message of the tarot cards. And I have actual experience in trusting these cards over the years, even though I still can barely explain what makes them work. And this particular message seems pretty 'right on' for me right now.
So I am going to continue to patiently wait, with as little discomfort as I can; to carry and sustain a weight that may be burdensome but one which I truly believe is worth it; and to trust that through it all and from it all I will be blessed.