Travelin'

First of all, please be aware I have a special edition of my side bar until further notice. I am going to thank everyone I love and care about. As much as I can.

Secondly, I hereby announce I have maintained my record for the 25th consectutive year of having the Christmas tree lights fail within 12 hours of getting them on the tree. They are now fixed, thanks to JB, and this year at least I didn't come close(r) to throwing the whole tree out on the lawn. But jeez louise...

I traveled this weekend. First, with not enough time, I packed up a few boxes of these cookies I've been making, I wrapped ribbons around some plants and pots I put together. I wrapped a couple of gifts. I drove myself 100 miles on the Massachusetts Turnpike and I took my 95 year old Godmother to her choice of a Mexican lunch, delivering to her an Amaryllis and our homemade glazed sugar cookies; I in return being given her homemade date and nut bread. I then visited Joe at the community residence where he lives. We sat in his bedroom and he showed me some papers and some possessions he was proud of. I am his unofficial case manager and he rewards me with a $ 100 gift certificate every Christmas and we had a cup of coffee at a local diner. And then JB and I went to a holiday party. That is where the pictures above were taken, a house so beautifully decorated for Christmas.

And then, late Saturday night into Sunday, at Jess's, with my family. Today JB and I and Mr. Ryan and Drew went to the Muppets movie. This was Ryan's second movie and we were not sure Drew, who is only two, could sit still for two hours. We had a BLAST. It was great. I love these kids. Love love love love them.

This is where they live:

Drew

& Logan, welcome Mr. 4 month old ♥

I am not sitting still in my desire to have a GOOD holiday season. In the last few days I have had some pangs of longing, of missing, of piercing sadness. But that is the past and I cannot change the past or will it forward. I am more and more aware of how precious time is, my one precious life, so I am taking the very hopeful tact of appreciating. participating. accepting. noticing.

and, I remind myself:...being Astonished.

Love kj

A Little Help From My Friends

I want to thank a few friends today. Some read my blog, some don't. I'm thinking of certain people tonight because I am aware of how much of my own creativity I have put into this holiday season. I have made gifts, scribbled and doodled with colored markers, decorated cookies, shopped for just the right message. I'm handing out presents that mean something to me and I'm proud to be the giver. I wouldn't be here, wouldn't feel that way if I weren't influenced and supported by the most creative energizing folks.

This list is not inclusive--there will be more--but for now, thank you, you guys, so much for igniting my passion:

Lo (Studio Lolo): I start with her because she feeds my need for security as well as my hunger for artistry. I love watching her draw, the way her hand moves. I don't tell her she is my best friend but sometimes I think it.

Heather: She's heard it all. Her way is calm and her advice is practical. If something should happen to me, it will be her who sorts through my papers and journals, making sure none of my words have the potential to hurt anyone.

Marion: My spiritual friend who speaks in a language I lost for a time when my friend Willa died. It is such a gift to understand, to be understood.

Lori: My most special friend who sees the world like no one else I know. I strive to be a better mother, a better grandmother, a better photographer, a less emotional wad because of her. I don't think she knows.

Marsha:She is there for me every time. I love that she lives nearby and I know I can count on her for anything. And I return that love and loyalty, which makes me proud of myself.

Marianne: I marvel at what she does with watercolors and circles. She is practical like Heather, steady and open and worldly. She must hold those brushes with such care and patience.

Anne: Who could resist brave uncensored spunk? Not me. Anne has found herself with a battle with %%$#@ cancer and she is approaching the challenge of it with humor and faith. I am in awe of her. She and I have a strange history and we've made lemonade from that history. ♥ Anne.

and finally:

Mr. Walking Man: I know you will be surprised to find yourself here, Mark, but your cynical observing take on things, and your insistence that life be equitable, always makes me think. Plus you make me laugh my ass off sometimes. I probably shouldn't say this, but I like to think I'm good for you.

We don't say thank you enough to the people who make life full, don't you think so? So tonight I'm saying thank you to my friends, most most sincerely.

love kj

Holiday Mish Mash

The top of my Christmas Tree

My current favorite house in Provincetown.

the drag queen fundraiser (fabulous)

thank you robin, so beautiful

my thank yous to the support staff at work

i am in love with my kitchen

JB's making Christmas presents

(small enough for a cell phone and cash)

more cookies than i expected! i made them to share

but JB & i keep eating them :^)

the tree

the tree

and one more thing I am grateful for....

where would i be without my friends here?

love kj

A Lovely Holiday Story: The Courtship of Mr. Turtle and Ms. Strawberry

For Marja: hee hee

As was his way, Mr. Turtle took his time strolling through the garden. When he came upon Ms. Strawberry, he knew she was the one.

"She was so soft and plump," he told his cousin Thomas, "and her scent was so sweet and intoxicating."

They fell in love immediately and within the month they were married.

They spent their wedding night under a sturdy Oak Tree, using lettuce leaves for their blanket, warm moss for their matress, and two grapes for their pillows.

"Do you mind?" Ms. Strawberry asked him: "I like it slow."

"No problem there." Mr. Turtle said confidently.

The End.

Orange It's Time?

Thank you Marja

I peel off the parts that don't fit anymore

And carry them.

I might want them back some time:

maybe when the winds blow

I will want my leaden feet

to hold me in place, no cause to roam.

Maybe if the smoke alarm sounds

I will welcome the way I cover my face

and stop breathing until I'm home again.

Maybe I may even reclaim the way I shake my head

when I fail to understand, no sense of any of it.

But not now.

Now, lighter serves me better.

My skin's exposed,

I could be scorched.

But much better to be peeled from the outside

Than from within.

Work

Oh the challenges of being a therapist this time of year.... :^)

love kj

Words

Help!

I have a hankering to write a holiday poem but I'm looking for good words.

Not just any good words. Favorite good words.

If you will tell me three or so of your favorite words, I will do my best to weave them into a poem.

Then we can say we wrote a holiday poem together. In my mind that's a nice thing to do as one year ends and another begins.

I'll give you a start: one of my favorite words is abundance. another is jubilant. and just so you don't think I'm a goody-two-shoes, I'll add mercurial.

Share as many words as you want. In a few days I'll start writing. tralala for now.

love kj

Just in Case...

attibution unknown

I'm here again, until the old year falls away.

Posting encouragement today.
I have a feeling something here
may tap your shoulder or catch your ear.
It's not the easiest time of year
for holding on to what is dear.
But here we are in early December
Ready to forget & ready to remember!
Love kj

When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. ~Franklin D. Roosevelt

Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end. ~Author Unknown

Fall seven times, stand up eight. ~Japanese Proverb

When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn. ~Harriet Beecher Stowe

The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be only the beginning. ~Ivy Baker Priest

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. ~Henry S. Haskins

If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again. Flavia and the Dream Maker

If you're going through hell, keep going. ~Winston Churchill

The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief. ~William Shakespeare, Othello

I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. ~Mother Teresa

We acquire the strength we have overcome. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known. ~Garrison Keillor

Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are. ~Arthur Golden

When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that when something's suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful. ~Barbara Bloom

I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing. ~Agatha Christie

When it is dark enough, you can see the stars. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

He who has a why to live can bear almost any how. ~Friedrich Nietzsche

When written in Chinese the word "crisis" is composed of two characters - one represents danger and the other represents opportunity. ~John F. Kennedy

Adversity has the effect of eliciting talents which, in prosperous circumstances, would have lain dormant. ~Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus), Satires

The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt. ~Max Lerner

Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants help from us. ~Rainer Maria Rilke

I have woven a parachute out of everything broken. ~William Stafford

I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind.Some come from ahead and some come from behind.But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see.Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!~Dr. Seuss

Never cut what can be untied (source unknown but kj says it all the time)
Rock bottom is good solid ground, and a dead end street is just a place to turn around. ~Buddy Buie and J.R. Cobb

Never give in... never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force... never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy. ~Winston Churchill

Well? love again, kj

Outside Myself

I mentioned in my last post: I hope to post regularly this month, sometimes even daily. It will be my way of offering my colors and words, some light and some serious, in a season that already has a wide range of senses and meaning. I hope by coming here for the next few weeks you may join with me in feeling less alone and more important.

This is a fifteen minute video recommended by my friend Wieneke. Fifteen minutes during the busiest of seasons?! Yes. It is fifteen minutes that left me with a GIFT. It's easy to get absorbed by memories and traditions and regrets and families and demands during this time of year.This fifteen minutes pulled me outside myself and it is a gift I am now giving to you.

The thing is, awareness is a huge step in change. Just knowing, feeling, caring is a start. A gift to you. A gift from you.

See what you think. CLICK HERE:

http://www.volkskrant.nl/vk/nl/2726/Binnenland/video/detail/3056240/TEDx-Amsterdam-Mabel-van-Oranje.dhtml
love kj

Life

This group
started here

in memory of people who have died

from AIDS ...walking along Commercial Street to the Unitarian Church where people wrote out the names of someone they had lost and hung those names on ribbons, altogether, alot of names.This is International AIDS Day and the disease has not yet been conquered, not at all. JB and I hung the name of JB's childhood friend, Doug, who was handsome and scholarly and kind and made some reckless choices.

Gosh, I feel comfortable here in Provincetown. This is a tiny community in the off season, 3000 people. I'm surprised that I go places here and someone knows me. JB and I are connecting with friends. I like it here. Taking this week off has been a godsend, a very smart idea. It is going to make a difference in how prepared I am and how I experience the holiday season.

I'm showing all these pictures to get my friends and visitors here in the mood even if you don't want to be. What the heck, come here for a minutes and pretend that you like all these lights and season festivity. What do you have to lose? Actually I'm thinking of posting frequently through Christmas and maybe New Year's. And not all photos. Sometimes just words. Deep thoughts, even, maybe. Come along with me this holiday season, if you'd like: I would like that. xoxo
There will probably be lights for the next few days. There's just so much light here to see. But don't get me wrong: there are 'darks' too, life is not always a bowl of cherries for me even if I make it look that way, but right now I'm experimenting with not giving the darks much attention. :^) Love kj