Wanted: Calm When the Wind Blows

 Once or twice a year JB and I go to the Kripalu Retreat Center in Western Massachusetts for a few days of R & R. I do very little yoga because of my (damn) back, but we start and end each day with a lengthy meditation, eat fantastically healthy meals buffet style (including a silent breakfast, which for what ever reason gives me a spiritual boost,) attend a couple of personal growth-breathing-self care workshops, schedule whole body massages, and head to bed far earlier than I'm used to. All in all, we leave rested and grateful. 

This is not an easy time in the outer world. I'm so sad that my adult daughter is understandably worried about her family and children; worried about rights being taken away and about deep divisions in communities that preclude kindness and dialogue. Heck, almost everyone I know feels that way. 

It bothers me a bit to hear of  programs that promote and emphasize "Joy," because for now and in the months ahead, I think most of us need healthy coping and empowerment skills that address uncertainty and ambivalence and fear and confusion. I think we need to prepare ourselves to stay centered when the world outside feels out of control. So I don't think "joy" is exactly the point. 

Still, it's not helpful to lean into despair or retreat. Sometimes I'm not sure whether to bury my head in the sand or stay abreast of every troubling action and reaction in the government and in society. So, in part to help myself, I've decided to re-enact some parts of the workshops I used to develop and present. I'm planning to hold a weekend in May workshop, here in Provincetown, initially, for 6-8 women. I'm putting together an agenda (and meal planning!) that I'm excited about. I stopped working professionally probably 4-5 years ago, but there's often a little voice inside me that nudges not to stray too far from my roots. I'm hoping this clears a helpful path. 

I'm already chuckling at the titles in my draft agenda: What's the Cat Hair? (Obstacles.)The Poker Chip Theory (Assets.)  Rocketship (Meditations.)  Flower Petals (Balance.) Color Walks (Awareness.) This is classic me: trying to 'teach' in ways that are silly and rememberable and easy to understand. 

Meanwhile, in less than two weeks, JB and I are traveling to Southeast Asia on a Viking Ocean Cruise, for almost three weeks. This is a BIG event for us. Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, China. More to come on that. xo

love kj

A Gift to My Jessica xo

A year ago, during my family's Christmas Yankee Swap, I ended up with a book that provided a prompt a day, for a full year. 

I  decided I would take on this challenge and it would be a 2024 Christmas gift for my beloved and best and only daughter, Jessica. It was quite a challenge: at one point I was almost two months behind. In my no-rush Turtle Therapy way (ie stop before something I love becomes a chore), I took my time, but I finished! There's no doubt my drawing and painting skills improved dramatically over the year. Below is one of my very favorites. 

When Jess opened this gift, she pretty much cried. I hoped it would mean alot to her--and maybe to my grandkids in the years ahead, and I have no doubt the pages touched her heart. I'm so proud and happy about that. 

I'll be sharing some of the pages in this journal in the weeks and months ahead. Meanwhile, I learned and reaffirmed something important: when I do something, anything, that has deep love as its foundation, mistakes don't matter and perfection doesn't matter; what counts is the love. And this book has plenty of that. 

love kj

 

Tis The Season

 I love Christmas. JB and I gift plenty of special cards, presents or cookies or dinners at our table. For a reason I don't understand, I feel especially generous and kind during the holidays. 

I know this is a tough time for many of us. Our family flaws and personal disappointments weigh heavily sometimes, and this time of year magnifies all that. I know I'm lucky to have a happy healthy family, and a partner I love and trust, and a home I that comforts me. I can afford to be generous and kind. 

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, my friends. I am forever glad to have this blog thread through the years of my life. 

love kj

The Blogs & Me

 

This is kind of a sad story. It's about blogging.

My blog made its debut in 2006. At the time I had just begun my first writing group, and two of the writers suggested I start my own blog so we could share each other's stories and essays. It was easy.

There was no Facebook or Instagram or social media, and even email, begun in 1989 by America on Line (AOL), still felt new and intriguing. So I  called my blog OPTIONS for a Better World and  published my very first blogpost: 

Welcome!

Welcome to the "better world" blogsite. Here you will find information,
musings, advice, and my personal stories about life, career, happiness,

and living well. This may come in various forms, but the underlying 
effort and intent is to affirm and re-affirm the ability and responsibility
to live a good life. 

More to come, 
kj

About a month or two later, I stumbled upon a Blog site called Illustration Friday (IF). On it, all kinds of artists posted their original work and wrote about it, and IF followers left comments. It was a reciprocal arrangement; I'll follow you and you follow me.

The people I met from this were unbelievable: painters, writers, photographers, travelers, journalists--from all over the world. Over the next two years, I became friends with people from Europe and India and South America and Australia and Iran and Japan and Canada and Mexico and South Africa and the Philippines etc etc , and just about every state in America. 

If you've ever wondered if it's possible to truly get to know someone without ever having met them in person, I'm here to say yes 100%. It was as though we came to know one another from the inside out instead of the outside in. We were often vague about where and how we lived (unless we had a good story to tell!), but several times a week--sometimes even daily--we shared our goings-on. We shared our art, our trips, our  stories, our observations, our scenery. 

For years, I was privileged to visit and be visited by almost 50 regular bloggers. Among them, there were 30-35 or so of us who laughed and teased and shared all kinds of happenings. I should add that my partner JB was nervous and very paranoid about my sharing with 'strangers,' but over time she and I met a number of my blog friends in person, and it turned out, for me at least, that my ability to judge someone's character was as intact on the blogs as it was at my workplace or in my neighborhood. 

I should also point out that I had one difficult and painful relationship born and buried on the blogs. It ended badly, and for me, that hurt my daily and weekly joy. But looking back, it was the arrival of Facebook and social media that made the Blogs less relevant. Slowly and surely, most of 'us' stopped posting with any regularity, and even now, even a die-hard blogger like me isn't here in any reliable manner.

Those early blogging years were some of the most productive and happiest in my writing life and in my friendships.  I miss all of it! There will be a few of my visitors here who remember and who still share. I'm so glad of that. But because most of us used pen names, I've lost people I wouldn't know how to contact, even if I had a reason to. 

My memories are deep and special, and that must be the way the universe wanted it to be. If you are reading this current post, thanks so much for being here. I'm so glad. I cherish now, but I surely miss then. 

love kj

A Terrific Day at Sea

 My good friends gifted JB and me a pontoon day at sea, hugging Provincetown's incredible bay, enhanced by a bright blue sky, camarons sunning on ancient rocks and along the jetty, and a gentle flow that reached our collective hearts.

The day was magnificent. 

Sincerely, Lucky Duck kj

Home

 I live in a place that I'm always glad to return to. The summer crowds and our summer company will soon fall into Autumn. Quieter, more reflective, and always beautiful. 

Our Summer Family

 This is personal and it gives me great joy. 

This is JB and our 15 year old grandson, Drew, walking on our street in Provincetown, on day 2 of a 3 day visit. Drew's a foot taller than he was last year, and more into the world of his phone and TikTok, but, along with his 3rd grandmother Pat, we had a wonderful time together. We ate, we bowled, we watched Big Brother and a movie, we walked to the pool and to our favorite Fanizzi's Restaurant, and we squirmed and blushed our ways through the unexpected raunchy scenes from The Rocky Horror Show, a stage production at our local theatre. 

JB and I have each of our grandkids alone, here in Ptown, for 3-4 days each summer. There will come a time when they'll be too busy or bored to come, or we'll be too sleepy and boring to have them. But that time isn't now, and I am so grateful. Just seeing these two walking together made me happy. And Jess is coming for an overnight, without the kids, in a few weeks. 

This is all about MEMORIES. They get imprinted. They stay. On the phone, Drew told his mother that the Rocky Horror Show was "horrible," but afterwards, the more we three grandmothers and one teenage grandson talked about it last night, the funnier it was and the more we laughed. Priceless. 

(I wish the same for you, in whatever ways appear.)

love kj