Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Is it?

It's easier to write when I'm looking up and harder to write when I'm falling down.

I'm not exactly falling but I'm in and out of the local health clinic like I have a membership. Twice I've had symptoms that really scared me and twice when I stopped being scared I've promised to wring every juicy moment from this life that is mine.  

Today I asked my doctor, "Is it age?" He smiles. "The problem is your mind is still a very smart 4o."
I smile back.

Is it age?

This year,
not last or the one before that,
for four seasons now
I'm giving blood
and getting news:
this works but that might not.

I'm a weary pocket
filled with coins
waiting to cash in,
ready to roll
but lying prone
when I should be

In this year
the doctor reassures
but here's another test,
this one for kidneys
that one for lungs.
A knee, a back, two hips
and a damn tooth.

Body, it's spring:
time to wise up.


  1. Old(er) age ain't for sissies.

  2. I don't know about you, by my parents made aging look easy. It's not. I'm grounded from yet another age related issue which then lead to a bone infection. Self administered IV antibiotics, twice a day, for 6-8 weeks and then ...I'm not going to give that possibility any power. I had just gotten my life back from the last medical ordeal. WAH!!!!

    1. cyndi, i was thinking that about my parents too and then i remembered that my mother broke her hip and had blood clots and my father had an aneurysm and lost the tip of his finger and my mother flew through colon cancer, and i wonder how many of their problems i didn't notice and they didn't make a big deal of, because like your parents, they made it look easy.

      i hope you are recovering more each day. i know what you mean. i hope you have support and help. xo

    2. Thanks,kj. After I whine like the whine above I remind myself that I'm leading a charmed life and am about the luckiest woman alive. I'm staying with my son (who happens to be a mama's boy, in a good way) and his beautiful, kind and loving girlfriend and our 4 dogs. Lots of love and laughter in this home.

  3. I definitely understand the frustrations of being sucked into the medical vortex. I have always thought of myself as physically healthy, still do in fact, but cancer issues still nag and take up way too much of my time and consciousness.

    But what gets me aggravated is when doctors end each pronouncement with "for your age". "Your eyes are in great shape . . . for your age." Arrrrgggghhhh! When I was having knees problems, 2 doctors wrote it off as age related arthritis. Then I found one who said "you're still young, I can fix that" And so he did.

    Sorry, didn't mean to make this comment all about me : ) I do hope your issues get resolved, and quickly, because yes, it is Spring and it's time to get out and enjoy all of nature's gifts. If we move more slowly out there, perhaps its so we can pay more attention to the details. Not necessarily a bad thing.

    1. 8, i always love your perspective. my issues have improved and barring one more little ultrasound, i should be good to go. and what you said about moving slowly: you so rock.

  4. ya know kiddo--this whole being in the grips of the medical community must be new to you. I have been working to have less of them in my life for near 30 years, blood? They have taken gallons, every organ has been tested including 55 year old smoking lungs.

    I simply do not care anymore what they say--17 times i have let them inside (not including colonoscopies) and the 17th was the last as it caused me more problems and fixed nothing.

    My knees may be failing, my hips hurt, my neck twice broken is constant source of amusing pain. And now because the junkies found they like crushed Vicodin, they have taken that from me.

    Best advice--your body, you know what you can do or not. yes we slow down but that only means we take longer to get from a to b. Besides it's the journey not the trips to the damned doctors.

    1. aw mark. yes, it is new to me.
      i was telling JB this week that you and i for all this time somehow always in some way take care of each other. do you think that's true too? it and you mean a lot to me. xo