Saturday, June 04, 2011

I'll Be Damned...

This is a photo journal of an awareness that has hit me over the head and demanded my attention:
I cannot understand why I am so busy, so short of time, so often stressed, so unable to center myself and walk gently through this, my best and only life.
I have felt besieged by responsibilities.
The other night I realized that is not my problem. Not at all.
My problem is not the challenges. My problem is the joys.
I have too many joys.
Too many parts and people I care about.
Too many opportunities and possibilities I welcome and want.
I try to fit everything in, not because I'm forced to, but because I love to.
In no order at all, here's what I cherish; here are the reasons I find myself spinning:

Friends: Different sizes, different backgrounds, no matter: I have wonderful friends who 'fit' with me in wonderful ways and I cherish spending time together with them

there is a part of my soul that lives here and I keep returning....

children in my life...

doing nothing...

travels to parts unknown...


chances to learn more and more...

an important and sometimes very hard job....

an incorrigable love of developing all kinds workshops...

Emily Rabbit who insists she should have her own book
(image via a card from a dear friend named lo)

forever efforts to achieve aspiring babe status

precious time with my family

a woman I love for life

my writing life...

my Mom....

and last but not least,

my blog:

the chance to share colors and words

with visitors and acquaintances

many who have become

life long friends

So how could I or anyone balance so many reasons that matter so much?

I don't know. I don't.

But at least now I know why I feel like I juggle.

At least now I understand the problem.

Love kj xo


  1. This is wonderful! You time to time inspire me how to involve in outside world,with so many people, too much work, fun and above all some deep contemplation.

    I have read your entry on Sunday lazy morning, and now i am charged up!

  2. What a great way of looking at it! of course you would feel busy and scattered, with so many things you want to give your attention to. That's what frustrates me too, our lives are too short! and there is much living to do. It almost feels like time is speeding up.
    I just read about the tornadoes you had, and am glad you are safe. Seems like the weather is so chaotic and unpredictable all over the world. I think mother nature is very angry with the human species, (and I don't blame her)

    many blessings to you

  3. It is good to have many blessings, but time is needed to enjoy them all. I think as we age our perception of time changes also....everything speeds up. (I am NOT saying we slow down! NO!)
    And let's face it~~Emily is right; she SHOULD have her own book.... :-)
    Here's to all the good things and may we all have so many!


    P.S. Forget trying to do the Babe thing....I did it for years and now find I would much rather EAT and ENJOY than diet and be miserable....just sayin'....

  4. I think you just summed it up for me too ;)

    I feel so guilty when I have run out of time to call friends back or to comment on blogs. But now I have decided to give myself a break and show up when I can. What I can't forget to do (and I too often have) is to show up for myself.

    yes indeed, lots to be thankful for.


  5. Kj, I know just how you feel. We just have too many passions that is the problem, no problem :-). Lately I have been getting up earlier to see if I can't squeeze just one more hour out of life. It helps make me not so hurried.
    Have a wonderful Sunday. xoxo

  6. I agree with Anne...time does seem to speed up as one becomes older, or at least the perception of it.

    I'm tired of finding the babe within...I think the babe had a great time in her twenties and thirties, heh! I'd rather work on eyes twinkling with love, humour and kindness. You've got that in spades, dear kj!!

    I love lo's card on Emily. I've thought Emily should have her own book of adventures for a long time...she's such a winner!

    Have a great Sunday...! xo

  7. This is one reason that when you are friends with's for good which means that if you don't call or email or comment for weeks and weeks (not that you have) it doesn't matter because a friend is a friend is a friend and when they have time, it's wonderful, and when they don't - it's OK too.

    We all have wonderful full lives - so lucky we are! My theory is to try to just enjoy and give up any quilt or trying to do it all - ain't happening!!!

  8. Too many things not enough time... What a wonderful life... ~Love You~ ma wonderful bloggy friend <3

  9. This is why I have never understood people that say they are 'bored'. :) Be sure and nap every now and then, Miss Whirlwind! xox Pam

    PS Emily, you are so right. You deserve your turn in the sun!

  10. "If you want something done, ask a busy person!" It's true you've taken on a lot, but you get so much done and touch so many people's lives. You also fit in self-care which makes the rest possible. Love you as Barbie, kj!;) My biggest issue is to remember what and when I need to do something--got a corkboard wall with post-it notes and push-buttons! (I don't know wky I can't make myself use the Outlook calendar...) Ƹ̴Ӂ̴Ʒ

  11. Blessing counting. I'm a believer in that.

  12. Count on, my dear. And when you get to the last of the list, start from the top again, and don't be surprised if the blessings have multiplied. Hugs from here.

  13. shubhajit, why thank you very much! we live so far from one another and our cultures are so different, and yet we know how to charge up our lives! ♥

    pink, how very nice to see you here. thank you. i agree with you about ms. mother nature. there is chaos that we must recognize. i think it creates a general sadness... xoxo

    anne, i'll be damned again! i am going to achieve babe status if it kills me! i want to strut as i wish!! thank you for your incredible support to emily. maybe she'll want you to achieve a star of fame with her!! xoxo

    lo, i don't really feel guilt. i tend more to feel overwhelmed and resentful. :^) i feel i DO show up for myself: that's not my problem either. i just want more fall-into TIME!! ♥

  14. hahaha annie, leave it to you to come up with an obvious solution! an extra hour, an extra hour to do what you love! hahaha, great idea! xoxo

    my darling marion, i love your comment. i love your current babe without too, starting with your wonderful smile. ♥

    mim, you know what? knowing that we are friends for good is one of the special joys in my life. i knew it from the beginning. i love you, mim!!!!

    vicki, oh man do i wish abundant and astonishing moments of joy for you. i know you have them but i want you to have more. plenty more!!!! xoxo

    pam, you should talk! you are ms. whirlwind2. your list of joy is as full as mine. ♥

    oh margaret, i'm with you. i can't keep track! i don't use outlook either and i don't use my iphone notes, which should be so easy. i keep running lists on an 8 by 11 envelope and it is never ever empty. !!!!! ♥

    cs, yup, that's what it is. i forget sometimes..... ps ♥

    hello dear allegra! thank you for putting this in the right perspective. you are so right. xoxoxo

  15. goddess bless you kj - only you would come up with a realization such as this — too many joys — if only we could focus on that and not the negative, we would be so much happier creatures.

    thanks for this shot in the arm today♡

  16. this is how i'm feeling too kj, it's nice when you can put it into words (i'm not always good at that). i like what mim has to say. i'm working on it!

  17. as usual you have 'hit the nail on the head'. what I think you are saying is that 'too much is just never enough'

  18. My kind of "problem".My kind of friend.Thank you friend..for sharing what is important.Hugs,Cat

  19. You're very blessed, isn't that wonderful? :-)

  20. I love this post, KJ! That's often how I feel and then I look at how good all those things are. And then I feel so lucky!! Love, Silke