Sunday, January 27, 2008

Back in the Saddle?

My optimism may be back. I am as tired and depleted as I can ever remember--as tired as my short stint running a restaurant--but the last four days have been calm. Nothing has unraveled, days are feeling normal, and things are actually looking up.
So here's a long overdue update, beginning where the holidays ended, finally with a hopeful slant:

Kindness has followed jb and me throughout too many surgeries, impairments, surprises, and crisises. Our good friends decorated our house for the holidays. Red Mojo strung our Christmas lights, brought us Ben and Jerry's ice cream, plowed our driveway. And for the last three months and especially last month, we've had groceries delivered, chores completed, errands run, dinners cooked. Unbelievable.

During this strange time, I've slipped in and out of many blogs, sometimes leaving a quick comment and often too weary or depressed to say anything. Still, a few blogs, especially, served to consistently ground me in a comforting reliable way. So here's my sincere thank you and recognition to kind Anon, Melissa, and Ces for cheering me up no-matter-what.

This is a good sign. A few days ago this Amaryllis bloomed. It is so cool to watch this plant start as a big round bulb and sprout inch after inch until it is almost two feet high and ready to reveal these incredible flowers. Across the miles my best friend (you may know who) and I have been tracking the growth of this miracle. It's hard to be depressed under such circumstances.

It's winter. The snow has been on the ground now for months. It doesn't play well with crutches., is it beautiful......

Oh, here he is yet again: Mr. Ryan. I look at this photo and remember that even the toughest times will not last--and certainly not without a fight.

Yesterday was the first time in TWO MONTHS that we have had a fire. Normally I built several a week, but I have been too weary. So the quiet event of sitting on the couch in front of the fireplace is another sign that things are improving.

Give me Peet's coffee (Major Dickinson blend) anytime and I'll feel better. Every morning for the past few months I have started my day this way, if only for five minutes before the approaching sound of a walker, crutch or cane stepped into my solitude....

jb is almost three weeks past a total knee replacement. In a weak moment she's allowed me to post this picture. She is still on crutches and will be for some time. I won't tell you about the 911 call in the early morning last week, but overall, she is improving each day. And today she bought herself an Apple iPhone, which is very cool and very exciting.
And, after multiple complications and challenges, my Mother will be moving to a wonderful rest home next week. It is a grand place where she will have freedom, activity and support, 3 miles from us--and here at # 9 our old routine will hopefully return. Oh: except that I will be returning to work in early March. More on that soon enough....

Here they are in the back hall: Cathy, Lily, and the Ukulele kids. All I have to say is: Comforting.

And since I'm feeling optimistic, how about these artistic truffles?

And finally, will there be a day of pampered relaxation in my future? Well, not with black toenail polish, but the spray looks interesting.....,

Thanks for hanging in with me. Hopefully I'll be chatting away again soon enough.


  1. Ah, hopefulness. Soon it will be February, the days are getting a longer. Spring will be in the air, and a new spring in your, an JB's step!

  2. rm, you are indeed an optimist!! yes: we get through february, the earth begins to crack, daylight lingers, and suddenly!--a snow covered purple crocus! thanks for the reminder.


  3. Everything, JB and Ryan are beautiful and I'll be back to banter after I wash the dishes.

    Oh thank you for the Kind Blog award even if I don't feel kind at all.

  4. KJ -- it is so good to see you back and blogging, and to hear the hope and good things that are happening for you and JB and your mom. Having a fire in your fireplace is a big sign of the shift in things and the contentment to come. And I'm so honored that I've helped in any small way during this time of challenge for you! Wow -- thank you! :) I'm sending big, warm hugs to you, JB and R. And, of course, Lady Stella. That little boy makes me want to kiss his cheeks!!

  5. I'm sorry things have been rough. I hope this helps a tiny bit: an award for you over at my place!

  6. Great to hear that things are moving in the right direction for you.
    Life is not easy but in the end you should never loose hope. I am sure better times are waiting for you this year!
    Keep strong !

  7. KJ- I am so happy to hear that things are going well for you guys. Tell JB that she looks lovely as always in that photo. I miss you guys! Maybe once things calm down we can plan a visit. Me to you or you to me, I don't care, but I'm not waiting until april. Give everyone my love.

  8. ces, are the dishes washed? were you kind to them, or did you bang them around? :)

    back at you, melissa!

    cs, thank you very much for the award. it is my honor that you are reading this story of mine.

    sidney, how nice to hear from you. i'll be over to visit very soon.

    nichole, miss you too. here or there, yes!

  9. What a wonderful and warm post.

    Tiredness is so frustrating isn't it? I have/had my fair share of it and in the past 12 months I have discovered that if I stop fighting it and rest a while I feel a lot better. (This might only work for me).

    Everything seems to be coming up roses KJ :)

  10. I love my dishes. Gotta go to work. More later. Have a great Monday.

  11. I'm so happy you are feeling hopeful and that flower would make anyone feel the joy! I am not sure if it is that time of year or what but I definately feel challenged as well. I can walk though... JB is darling and she looks so happy! Ryan is the cutest!!! Have a beautiful day

  12. Ouch I'm getting a funny error message here. Something about 'double entry'. I'll try again.

    I'm sorry you've been feeling down. Please hang in there: things will get better, I'm sure.
    Understandable that you have been feeling somewhat depressed: so much has been going on in your life.
    I'll think of you!

  13. How wonderful to read such a positive hopeful and warm post from you KJ! This really has made my day (NO not ANOTHER award! Heehee). I can't say in words how great it is to read your life is looking up! Thankyou for the 'Kind Award', I will try to bang two saucepans together more often ;)

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  15. Welcome back kj! So nice to read about things getting better for you.

    I hope it rubs off on me.

  16. I'm glad you are feeling better. I'm still longing for the beach, but hanging in and moving forward. I'm reminding myself that "progress" doesn't have to happen in equal increments each day-it's the general trend that counts. I'd like to remind you of that too!

  17. Cindy fell and she could not get up. Poor Cindy I hope she does not die. I christen your amaryllis, her name is Sophie. Tell Sophie that Cindy had a major trauma.

  18. Ah! So glad things are looking up...and they will keep getting better and better:> I love the real-life metaphor of the blooming amaryllis, and I love the contrast of its bright red blossom against the white snow. Hugs to you & JB:>