Cambodia

Cambodia now has a special space in my heart. I didn't expect that. Like Thailand, the people were so gentle and kind and humble, but in this country, they haven't recovered from first, three million citizens killed (The Killing Fields,) and then Covid, when all the outside redevelopment and reconstruction money and efforts dried up and never returned. As a result, we saw more empty and half-finished buildings that I could count--a country on the verge of recovery, but not yet.

We had some interesting travels in Cambodia, mostly by tuk-tuk, bus and boat. For starts, I got in the habit of writing key words--thank you, hello, how much, etc--on my hand, something I hadn't done since third grade! JB and I tried hard to communicate in some way, to honor the people so gracious to us, but I have to say we mostly failed. Four countries, different dialects and inflections--it was hard!

We spent a day gallivanting. Here, where this temple is located, we encountered poverty that seemed so dire. Ten year old kids were holding babies and begging us for money, sometimes offering a trinket or a piece of fruit as a fair exchange. We also visited a thriving city, but there's no doubt we saw a lot of poverty and makeshift homes.

Here I am in a tuk-tuk: a familiar mode of transportation that took us to a local market and scooted us around town. 

On our way to the Mangroves, we passed all too many buildings like this--they just never got finished after Covid, the outside investors aren't coming back, and the country hasn't the means to finish them. 

We met Cowboy and Denise from Alabama, while waiting in line for a boat to tour the Mangrove. This was the start of some shared adventures with them and I think the start of an enduring friendship. Cowboy is really Ron, but his introduction made sure his Texas roots were very clear. On a scorching day in Vietnam, a week or so later, when I wasn't sure I'd stay upright during a 95 degree, 2 or 3 mile walk, he kept an eye on me, bought me a fan, gave me water, and pulled me back from a fast-moving motorcycle. We had fun with these two....

How fortunate we were to visit a local home. The family was waiting for our arrival, and greeted us with hands clasped and reverent bows. They served us fresh fruit and gave us a sense of their modest way of life. The main room, seen here, is open air, where the family dines. 

We also visited a monastery/temple, with so much gold and glitter everywhere. This little boy smiled, disappeared, and returned with a flower for JB and me. 

And here is a tribute to the Killing Fields: the War Memorial. It was beautiful and solemn.

 I'm going to be rooting for Cambodia. This is a country and a people that deserve peace and prosperity. 

Southeast Asia

 

I'm so overdue in posting this incredible trip. JB and I have been home a good month and I'm still influenced by the experience. We began in Bangkok Thailand, sailed to Cambodia, and then Vietnam, and ended in Hong Kong China. 

On total impulse, we'd signed up for a Viking Ocean cruise. We had never discussed Southeast Asia, and even now, I'm not sure what led us to book the voyage three days later. We'd be gone almost three weeks,  docking at five ports and traveling by bus, tram, cable car, tuk-tuk, and foot to bustling markets and deltas and mangroves and bays and upscale cities and fishing villages and private homes and monasteries and temples and artist communities. It was all incredible. 

I'll start with Bangkok. We arrived two days before we would board the Viking Venus ship, mostly so we could adjust to a massive time change and to get ourselves settled. We stayed at a lovely hotel and immediately noticed how gentle and polite the Thai people are. And the food: fantastic. Most of these two days was spent relaxing at the pool, eating incredible Thai food, visiting a temple, walking along a very poor section of the city. The temple trip convinced us to cross temples off our list. There was gold glitter everywhere, but it was too crowded and too hot. 

 

Bangkok is a stark mix of high rise buildings and run down shacks. The vibe is clearly upscale and hip, but poverty is pretty apparent. The streets are filled with motorcycles and motorbikes, zig zagging and moving in all directions. Most people don't have cars, so motorcycles transport almost everyone. It's surprising to learn that accidents are rare!

The food was fabulous and the people were gracious. We drove a good two hours inland, but never saw the lush landscape I imagined we would. That surprised me. All in all, Bangkok is a bustling city, one of the most visited in the world.  Some Americans we met at the hotel had had shirts and other clothing made for them, on the spot, and ready for pickup 24 hours later. Others indulged in great local massages at a cost of $10-15 American dollars. 

When we boarded the ship, it was obvious we were in for a fantastic cruise. The ship itself is both elegant and functional--four restaurants, living room style seating everywhere. a buffet at every meal that never disappointed, a theatre, a spa, TED talks, entertainment, and best of all, a sweet 270 foot room with a private sliding glass patio. Our views from that room were amazing.

We sailed overnight to Cambodia, and Cambodia turned out to have a special place in my heart. I'll write about that next. 

love kj

 

Wanted: Calm When the Wind Blows

 Once or twice a year JB and I go to the Kripalu Retreat Center in Western Massachusetts for a few days of R & R. I do very little yoga because of my (damn) back, but we start and end each day with a lengthy meditation, eat fantastically healthy meals buffet style (including a silent breakfast, which for what ever reason gives me a spiritual boost,) attend a couple of personal growth-breathing-self care workshops, schedule whole body massages, and head to bed far earlier than I'm used to. All in all, we leave rested and grateful. 

This is not an easy time in the outer world. I'm so sad that my adult daughter is understandably worried about her family and children; worried about rights being taken away and about deep divisions in communities that preclude kindness and dialogue. Heck, almost everyone I know feels that way. 

It bothers me a bit to hear of  programs that promote and emphasize "Joy," because for now and in the months ahead, I think most of us need healthy coping and empowerment skills that address uncertainty and ambivalence and fear and confusion. I think we need to prepare ourselves to stay centered when the world outside feels out of control. So I don't think "joy" is exactly the point. 

Still, it's not helpful to lean into despair or retreat. Sometimes I'm not sure whether to bury my head in the sand or stay abreast of every troubling action and reaction in the government and in society. So, in part to help myself, I've decided to re-enact some parts of the workshops I used to develop and present. I'm planning to hold a weekend in May workshop, here in Provincetown, initially, for 6-8 women. I'm putting together an agenda (and meal planning!) that I'm excited about. I stopped working professionally probably 4-5 years ago, but there's often a little voice inside me that nudges not to stray too far from my roots. I'm hoping this clears a helpful path. 

I'm already chuckling at the titles in my draft agenda: What's the Cat Hair? (Obstacles.)The Poker Chip Theory (Assets.)  Rocketship (Meditations.)  Flower Petals (Balance.) Color Walks (Awareness.) This is classic me: trying to 'teach' in ways that are silly and rememberable and easy to understand. 

Meanwhile, in less than two weeks, JB and I are traveling to Southeast Asia on a Viking Ocean Cruise, for almost three weeks. This is a BIG event for us. Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, China. More to come on that. xo

love kj

A Gift to My Jessica xo

A year ago, during my family's Christmas Yankee Swap, I ended up with a book that provided a prompt a day, for a full year. 

I  decided I would take on this challenge and it would be a 2024 Christmas gift for my beloved and best and only daughter, Jessica. It was quite a challenge: at one point I was almost two months behind. In my no-rush Turtle Therapy way (ie stop before something I love becomes a chore), I took my time, but I finished! There's no doubt my drawing and painting skills improved dramatically over the year. Below is one of my very favorites. 

When Jess opened this gift, she pretty much cried. I hoped it would mean alot to her--and maybe to my grandkids in the years ahead, and I have no doubt the pages touched her heart. I'm so proud and happy about that. 

I'll be sharing some of the pages in this journal in the weeks and months ahead. Meanwhile, I learned and reaffirmed something important: when I do something, anything, that has deep love as its foundation, mistakes don't matter and perfection doesn't matter; what counts is the love. And this book has plenty of that. 

love kj

 

Tis The Season

 I love Christmas. JB and I gift plenty of special cards, presents or cookies or dinners at our table. For a reason I don't understand, I feel especially generous and kind during the holidays. 

I know this is a tough time for many of us. Our family flaws and personal disappointments weigh heavily sometimes, and this time of year magnifies all that. I know I'm lucky to have a happy healthy family, and a partner I love and trust, and a home I that comforts me. I can afford to be generous and kind. 

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, my friends. I am forever glad to have this blog thread through the years of my life. 

love kj

The Blogs & Me

 

This is kind of a sad story. It's about blogging.

My blog made its debut in 2006. At the time I had just begun my first writing group, and two of the writers suggested I start my own blog so we could share each other's stories and essays. It was easy.

There was no Facebook or Instagram or social media, and even email, begun in 1989 by America on Line (AOL), still felt new and intriguing. So I  called my blog OPTIONS for a Better World and  published my very first blogpost: 

Welcome!

Welcome to the "better world" blogsite. Here you will find information,
musings, advice, and my personal stories about life, career, happiness,

and living well. This may come in various forms, but the underlying 
effort and intent is to affirm and re-affirm the ability and responsibility
to live a good life. 

More to come, 
kj

About a month or two later, I stumbled upon a Blog site called Illustration Friday (IF). On it, all kinds of artists posted their original work and wrote about it, and IF followers left comments. It was a reciprocal arrangement; I'll follow you and you follow me.

The people I met from this were unbelievable: painters, writers, photographers, travelers, journalists--from all over the world. Over the next two years, I became friends with people from Europe and India and South America and Australia and Iran and Japan and Canada and Mexico and South Africa and the Philippines etc etc , and just about every state in America. 

If you've ever wondered if it's possible to truly get to know someone without ever having met them in person, I'm here to say yes 100%. It was as though we came to know one another from the inside out instead of the outside in. We were often vague about where and how we lived (unless we had a good story to tell!), but several times a week--sometimes even daily--we shared our goings-on. We shared our art, our trips, our  stories, our observations, our scenery. 

For years, I was privileged to visit and be visited by almost 50 regular bloggers. Among them, there were 30-35 or so of us who laughed and teased and shared all kinds of happenings. I should add that my partner JB was nervous and very paranoid about my sharing with 'strangers,' but over time she and I met a number of my blog friends in person, and it turned out, for me at least, that my ability to judge someone's character was as intact on the blogs as it was at my workplace or in my neighborhood. 

I should also point out that I had one difficult and painful relationship born and buried on the blogs. It ended badly, and for me, that hurt my daily and weekly joy. But looking back, it was the arrival of Facebook and social media that made the Blogs less relevant. Slowly and surely, most of 'us' stopped posting with any regularity, and even now, even a die-hard blogger like me isn't here in any reliable manner.

Those early blogging years were some of the most productive and happiest in my writing life and in my friendships.  I miss all of it! There will be a few of my visitors here who remember and who still share. I'm so glad of that. But because most of us used pen names, I've lost people I wouldn't know how to contact, even if I had a reason to. 

My memories are deep and special, and that must be the way the universe wanted it to be. If you are reading this current post, thanks so much for being here. I'm so glad. I cherish now, but I surely miss then. 

love kj

A Terrific Day at Sea

 My good friends gifted JB and me a pontoon day at sea, hugging Provincetown's incredible bay, enhanced by a bright blue sky, camarons sunning on ancient rocks and along the jetty, and a gentle flow that reached our collective hearts.

The day was magnificent. 

Sincerely, Lucky Duck kj